Day 23, a Need to Rest

rest, Vulnerability

photo-29_kindlephoto-3972103

I’m prone to crashing not the day just after being overwhelmed.

But, more so after the two or three days.

It all catches up and slows me down real slow.

Depleted at the end of the day with only minimum words and no answers for the question, “What’s wrong?”

“Just tired.” I say.

Because it’s hard to explain my fatigue has caught up with me.

With my emotions too.

The body gets tired, the heart’s always close behind.

The Advent card, today’s image reminded me of repetitious days.

Of sameness and habitual motions.

Of showing up, being more, doing more and marking another day done.  Pencil marks counting another task finished, not much more than finished.

Day 23, two days away from Christmas Eve

The image reminding of  23rd Psalm.

A timely reminder, I need to rest.

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.

 The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.

 

Preparing Him Room

Faith, family, grace, praise, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

In all the busyness, the hosting, the planning and the preparing…

Prepare Him Room.

photo-31_kindlephoto-9279898

Breathe in his presence and sit with it.

His gift of grace like the spot known as yours on the sofa, next to the twinkle of tree now, it’s Christmas.

Peace, be still and Alleluja

Solace and  love there

Heaven and nature singing above and around.

I’ve invited Him in.

Prepared Him room.

Revel in and then rest there, His presence in your room.

Let every heart prepare Him Room.

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6

Yesterday and Today

courage, Faith, praise, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, wonder

Yesterday started with daylight only sparsely present.  I walked outside and noticed the clouds shifting in a swooping motion.

It was supposed to be more chilly, I thought. My daughter said, “It hasn’t moved through yet. It’s coming.”

FB_IMG_1450540926184

And it did, we had dinner after shopping later, the wind cold and the sky filling with stars above a fuzzy peace sunset.

I remembered earlier in the day, I had sat aside the Advent Card for Day 20, noticing the image so much like stars, clouds, waiting for change.

Little triangle shapes like Christmas trees planted for next year’s home.

little trees growing

little trees growing

Thinking of how nervous and anxious I was on Thursday for what I’d be doing Friday,  speaking in front a large group, cameras, prominent people…but I was okay, it was okay.

Yesterday was good. Good and unexpected things made me smile. There was some bad, some annoying and out of nowhere mean, sharp words.

A good day, but a long one.

Yesterday becoming today.

Yesterday was good. Today will be too.

We’re closer to Christmas, closer to Christ.photo-35_kindlephoto-6872653

Come thou long expected Jesus.

 But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

Matthew 1:20-21

Loved Ones

Children, family, Motherhood
Merry Christmas from us!

Merry Christmas from us!

On Day 19 of Advent, I’m loving this bright little card with petite poinsettia and holly branches.

Scattered evergreen branches and red berries all thrown together, a mixture of little plants, one complementing the other.

Like our Christmas card, we chose the one with us all there together.

Including girlfriend and fiance

We loved the one that captured us all, loved ones.

Not perfect or proper, but blended well and behaving side by side and loved one by the other.

Angel moon and stars

Children, courage, Faith, family, praise, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

photo 3-5_kindlephoto-1076406

The moon tonight had an angelic halo type haze circled around.

Many years ago, we’d made it back home from my mama’s funeral and had collapsed back into the house.

Worn, weary and drained.

Grief has a way of doing that.

You go through the motions of the ceremonial last gathering and when you’re done…you’re really done and emptied of most everything.

But, on that night almost six years ago,  my nephew called.

Told us all,  “Go outside, look at the moon…grandma Bette is looking down.”

And we did, my daughter and I, walked out into the cold January night and turned towards heaven to see the moon.

To stay there in that place, moonlit bright, shiny and fuzzy with glow as we felt mama, Grandma Bette looking down.

Tonight, the moon looked the same and I paused, not sorrowful or longing for backward steps; instead moving on as I drove.

Secure in the presence of moon, of mama.

Weaving on roads with few other people out, a cool night, stars all around and a crescent moon with a soft glow.

Making my way back home to son, daughter, husband and dogs…the glow of Christmas to greet me, the colors of Jesus filling the rooms.

photo-29_kindlephoto-24403072

 

I thought of the stars again,  imagining how brightly they must have shone on the night our Savior was born, unobstructed by city light, by busy life.

I thought of shepherds following one star.

I wondered if they were convinced or unsure.

Doubted whether to continue on…following a star.

I wondered if their only hope was hope enough, to glance upward to stay on course, continuing on because of the one they were seeking.

The long expected one to guide us when star shine faded.

… they went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was.

When they saw the star, they were overjoyed.

Matthew 2:9-10

Overjoyed by where the star led them.

Like me, maybe my nephew, my daughter, nieces, brothers and sister.  We look towards the moon that leads us to remember, its aura, like an angel with halo.

We pause to lift our faces towards heaven.

photo-36_kindlephoto-8146113

To adore, despite

Uncategorized

photo-25_kindlephoto-15293171Someone told me once, of marriage…”Peaks and valleys, Lisa, peaks and valleys.”

Wisdom, these words, so true of life, marriage, relationships, of our ability “to people”.

So, the craziness and conflict peak nonetheless and we rebel against it, even more disgruntled..

It’s Christmas after all.

The more we push back the stronger the resistance ’til it’s all ironed out or let go and we settle back down

We decide to let it be.  We refuse to allow our joy to be snapped up by whatever crazy, ugly or just complicated may be.

We choose for ourselves to adore Him, Christ the Lord, despite.

 

Come adore Jesus. Come see what God has done. Revere Christ as King. Imagine this King as a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. (Luke 2:12)

Finding light, calm and bright

courage, Faith, grace, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

What an irony that I drove back country roads to church feeling empowered by God, yet surrounded by ominous gray sky.

photo-31_kindlephoto-37149237

Most mornings, after some time of quiet, I’m rejuvenated and stirred in a way that increases my faith.  Depending on the day, I may walk in trust all day, or may not even leave the house before I feel less trusting.  Hope is like the air inside a brightly colored balloon, it’s what keeps our faces tilted towards God.

Imagine the hopelessness of Mary about to give birth and of Joseph, her companion and support on this journey of believing only because God said it would be accomplished…as they were turned away again and again…no room for you.

Yet, I believe on that night of seeking a place to rest, they were silent in their search for shelter, all was calm and all was bright.

Despite the dark unknown.

Advent, Day 15

Advent, Day 15

Such is a life of faith,  of seeking to be close to God. It’s darkness and it’s light, calm and sometimes bright.

It’s mainly journeying with the heart and mindset of one seeking a place to feel safe, sheltered and at peace.

And looking for light, creating light.

photo-36_kindlephoto-37293052

Drawing Lines and Looking for Mercy

courage, Faith, grace, praise, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

On a Saturday morning with sunlight making designs on the furniture, I study today’s Advent card.

Six sketches, reminding of Christmas trees, but one different from the others.  One more starkly covered, filled in with thick black marking.

photo-28_kindlephoto-1830853

There’s a story in the Book of John of a woman known for her sin.

Her indiscretions brought to light by accusers circled around in the sand at their feet, waiting for…demanding punishment with stone.

Accusers who retreated when handed their rocks to be thrown only if they’d never sinned themselves.

They wandered off one by one, their self-righteousness in check.

Then Jesus gently affirmed her sin, by saying ” Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” John 8:11

Thank you God,  for the glorious gift of your Son, my Savior. Thank you for the unfathomable reach of His grace and his mercy. Thank you God, most of all that yours is not a condemning acknowledgement of our failures, rather a gentle beckon…come or come back to me. Let’s walk together again. Go and sin no more.

We look for your mercy.

Amen

All the Pretty Colors

Children, courage, Faith, grace, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized

Today’s Advent card, Day 13, is splattered in the warmth of colors.

Little flowers, leaves, stems all mingled together, all God’s creation.

Thinking of mama and remembering what God can do

Thinking of mama and remembering what God can do

 

Last night, Heather convinced me to watch a football awards show.  I sort of watched, I guess.

I did get to see Dabo Swinney speak very confidently and with humility. I also got to see him dance surrounded by his players who were laughing at and with him, it was a happy time. A lot of love in that room.

Then, we both were captivated by a young football  player who accepted an award he was obviously honored to receive, yet had not an ounce of cockiness in his stance. I don’t think he said it, but,  he just had a look of “blessed” as he received his award.

Then the award, I wish I could remember the name for was given to a 28 year old  veteran,  his story of returning from war to college football and the tormented memories he carried.

A big, handsome man who thought not of himself but, but of the friend in his Echo Company who’d lost the battle of holding fast to hope. He died by suicide,  must have been one night this week, joining several others from this company, he said.

The young man, the older man, one white and one black.

Both humbled, both honored, both had persevered.

Both were fighters, had purpose.

Both cried the same eyes pooled with tears.

My daughter and I did too.

When my mama lived she taught us many lessons. I can’t say with confidence that they were taught to her.

What I believe is that she came to these truths because she was a lover of all people.

She told us many, many times. “There are good white people and there are bad white people. There are good black people and there are bad black people and some people are just mean as hell.”

Now, my mama loved the Lord.

She revered God;  but, she also spoke truth when it needed to be heard.

She told us again and again…”You know everybody sittin’ in that church pew on Sunday morning ain’t going to heaven, it’s just show.”

She was teaching us to see others for who and where they are.

Good people

Bad people

People trying to figure out which to be.

Teaching us “But, by the grace of God, there go I.”

She taught us how to live in a world with others, loving, her legacy.

This morning, before getting out of bed, God pulled some things together for me.  He had me looking back on my week and said,

“Lisa, this is why I placed this person on your path…all these people have purpose. I know you’re gonna need these to get through the ugly situation to come.”

A woman who helped me this week, she lives in our homeless shelter. We talked about her son, 17 years old.  She never thought to ask if he could visit.  He’s  coming to visit Christmas Eve. It started with me asking, “Do you miss your son?”

Or the high school student who shouted “Mrs. Tindal!!!” When she saw me, saying “Let’s do a selfie.”

We did and it was the best shot of the day.

Amelia and I

Amelia and I

Last night, a friend whose son knows this young lady told me her mama had died of cancer several years back. I had no idea.

I’m so glad we hugged each other.

A friend stopped by to tell me an alarming story of a comment made because of her race.  I stood and listened, so hurt for her that I cried.

We held hands and promised to pray for each other.

A big and thoughtless mistake was made on my son’s campus. The media has spread the bad,  neglecting to add any good…the possible cause for misinterpretation. I’m glad my son was not a part; but, I’m shaken by the ripple effect.

So, I think again of mama and I think of good and bad.

I think of things only God can do while we, like mama try to be honest, true, kind and obedient catalysts for good, for God.

I think of my daughter’s tears over the young black athlete. Because she, every single day has big hopes for all the little boys she teaches and tells them so by her actions “You can be something really good one day.”

I remember my son as an elementary student, adamantly denying that his friend was black…He’s brown!!!

The 4 year olds in my daughter’s class have new, more accurate names for color too…maybe peach, tan, beige or brown.

Not black or white.

All the pretty colors, truly he taught us to love one another.

O' night divine

Fall on your knees,
Oh hear the angel voices,
Oh night divine, oh night when Christ was born.
Oh night divine, oh night, oh night divine.

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother,
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord
Christ is the Lord, oh, praise His name forever
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!