Author: Lisa Anne Tindal

Foes and Footstools

bravery, confidence, contentment, courage, Faith, fear, hope, memoir, mercy, Peace, praise, Prayer, rest, Stillness, surrender, Trust, Truth, Vulnerability, waiting, wonder, writing

I have just a few blooms left of the farewell lilies.

I picked the withered petals, adding water to preserve what’s yet to bloom, like life still good to come from what has and is fading.

We can be confident that our God is always good.

Psalm 108 ends on a confident note, David says he knows that with God all of our victories are valiant ones.

Then the mood shifts. It’s sort of heavy and negative.

It’s real.

It’s about our foes, not just physical enemies, it can be circumstance, unforeseen change, opposition we sense or walk around carrying in our souls.

Enemies are not just people, they are the stuff of our negative stories, the ugly and sad of an imperfect world.

The struggles that come with intent to steal our peace.

Psalm 109 is an outspoken plea for help from God from David in light of his accusers, those who were attacking him through deceit.

I read it and sense David’s frustration and defeat. It is not easy to read as he asks for God to intervene to not allow blessing to come near his foe, only curses. David’s words are an outcry to God, a totally honest plea…asking God “do you see all that is happening to me?”

I love, love, love this honesty!

Psalm 109 ends with praise as if to say thank you God for letting me get that off my chest, don’t you worry, I am praising you anyway!

Could David have felt like me, honestly, God I promise to do my best?

Maybe.

With my mouth I will give great thanks to the Lord; I will praise him in the midst of the throng. For he stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save him from those who condemn his soul to death. Psalm 109:30-31‬ ‭ESV‬‬

And then, Psalm 110 keeps on teaching us how to live undefeated. It begins with a reminder to be patient, a reminder that He is near and that He sees it all.

“The Lord says to my Lord: “Sit at my right hand, until I make your enemies your footstool.” Psalm 110:1‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I’m smiling now because all I can think is sit down now, take a deep breath, put your feet up. I see you.

Rest.

#continueandbelieve #heknowsmyname #godisincontrol

Abandoning Thoughts and Things

Abuse Survivor, bravery, contentment, courage, doubt, Forgiveness, freedom, grace, hope, love, memoir, mercy, Peace, Prayer, Redemption, rest, surrender, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

A petal drops from the day lily onto the table. The sound so subtly quiet it barely shifts my attention.

But, it does.

I turn to notice and then wonder how long before the others let go.

The dirty mason jar, because I’ve no idea what happened to all of my vases, has been the vessel for yellow, a soft maroon, ivory and a golden rust colored arrangement. The stems strong and the leaves a lively green will be the last to go.

I have loved them in my morning spot.

Yesterday I told someone I was struggling to comprehend a life of abandonment to God’s will.

Told her I’m prone to expect a revelation, a change that says you’re done or a turning down one road never venturing wrongly or lazily short cutting again.

This morning I know better.

I know abandonment of some of my analytical longings will lead to a life maybe not all romantic like a theatrical opera or song.

It’ll be more incremental.

It will be stop and start, stay longer next time until you realize oh, okay it’s been a while. Maybe saying to myself,

I didn’t realize how long it’s been. I’ve settled in this place of acceptance without fear.

Abandoning yourself to God’s plan, what a calling, an aspiring and admirable decision!

Yes.

But, I am human and I live amongst other imperfect humans. I know some things they do not know of me and I must remember that it is the same for them.

All of our behaviors are formed by our individual damaged or undamaged perceptions on life with other humans.

I digress.

Here’s what I came to on the issue of abandon, of abandoning my ideas, hopes, plans, goals to God’s plan.

I am learning as I go.

I am abandoning self-condemnation when it seems I don’t live the abandoned life as fully or continuously as I should. I will abandon being so hard on myself.

I consider this a good beginning.

I’m abandoning my need to know, abandoning my need to correct others, abandoning my need to forget harm done to me by others.

I can abandon strife for peace.

I can abandon anger for acceptance.

I can abandon envy, jealousy and resentment for love.

I can, incrementally.

I am certain that abandon and living this way is more like joy than work.

It is more a breathless expectation of what is coming good or not so great. It is the committed mindset that every tiny thing, life event or circumstance has been filtered.

Has been held by God and let go or not let in.

Unexpectedness.

Maybe living the abandoned way really means living unexpectedly!

Like your grandpa used to say,

Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise.

Living that way.

Not knowing what your next moment will bring, your next hour or next day.

Yes.

I think I can live this way.

It may be momentarily, this new way.

But, moment by moment I will be accepting what is next for me and for those my life gets to be intermingled with, influenced by and loved…my influence a hopeful one for them.

That will be the greatest of things. Abandoning what I don’t know and keeping what I do!

Perhaps adding a new daily prayer, the prayer that Jesus prayed, inviting heaven into my earth, into my day.

“Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:9, 11-13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Either way, simply believe.

Believe and continue.

Continue and believe.

Truth Is

Abuse Survivor, bravery, confidence, contentment, courage, curiousity, Faith, Forgiveness, freedom, grace, hope, memoir, mercy, Peace, Prayer, Teaching, Trust, Truth, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, waiting, wonder, writing

Imagine always knowing everything, all the angst driven questions about you and all around you, people, stuff, nagging questions.

We wait for understanding and get all frustrated in the waiting.

As if we’re in an audience before the big emotion driven announcement.

As if a large presence of a person intent on projecting themselves as an authority on the subject

Is up high on a mountaintop and is speaking into a megaphone of sorts, this presence echoing down into our valley

That we happen to be stoic and standing in.

We are waiting.

Looking up longingly with our faces intent and our ears straining to retain every word.

Anticipating a great and mighty answer.

For me, the answer to this prayer.

What is the truth?

My prayer yesterday evening, one of very few words as I knelt in the bathtub after my shower.

God, I want to know the truth.

And He answered me this morning.

I woke with no coffee and so I made a Chick Fil A run.

Rather than music, I listened to a podcast on curiosity. The voice of Elizabeth Gilbert was strong buffered by gentle interludes.

Elizabeth Gilbert on Curiosity over Passion

I arrived back home, poured my coffee from the cup into a pretty mug, opened my memorandum, April 26th entered and then wrote boldly.

You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.

I wanted to assure myself, you will know the what and how and why and who of this troubling situation. You will know truth.

Then I considered, well Lisa Anne, What is truth?

Then rather than ruminate or dictionary search, I sat quietly and I listened to input from it would seem nowhere.

What is truth?

Truth is knowing that you are not all-knowing, never will be. Truth is knowing that you do have and are loved by a God who knows all. That knowledge is your truth. This truth is always enough.

“Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

‭‭John‬ ‭8:31-32‬ ‭NLT‬‬

It occurs to me now, which would I choose given one or the other?

Would I choose to know everything, every behind the scenes calculation and misconstrued conversation?

Would I choose the precision of each coming occurrence, its timing and its success or failure?

Would I choose to know the truth about all things, all human and prompted by sinful predisposition to veer interactions with others?

Or would I choose truth, would I choose knowing Jesus and abiding there?

May I turn myself around smack dab in the middle of life’s road when I venture the opposite way, seeking to know it all over trusting the One who does.

“Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”

‭‭John‬ ‭14:6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I’d rather know Jesus than be a know it all.

Thank you, Father for answering my Friday night prayer on this quiet Saturday morning. I am yours. You are truth. Because of mercy, Amen

May I cling to this knowledge, I know God. God knows me.

Truth is.

This truth is all we need.

What is it that you are dying to know? Is there an issue, an affront, an unkind occurrence or maybe a hope you need to believe might come true?

May you, like me find peace if only at first in tiny little bits, in the truth of abiding in Him.

And may our tiny little epiphany moments lead to hours and eventual days and whole lives hemmed in safely by mercy, grace guiding us onward.

Onward in a way that absolutely no momentary circumstantial truth matters, only the truth Himself and the truth of Him.

Happy Saturday y’all! Today is a very good day!

Question of the Day

Abuse Survivor, bravery, contentment, courage, Easter, Faith, Forgiveness, freedom, Peace, Redemption, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

“Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?”

Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.””

‭‭John‬ ‭20:15‬ ‭ESV

“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever.

He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭103:8-12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Bless the Lord, O’ my soul. Psalm 103:1

All Promises Forgotten

Abuse Survivor, bravery, contentment, courage, doubt, Easter, Faith, fear, Forgiveness, freedom, grace, hope, memoir, mercy, Peace, Prayer, Redemption, rest, Salvation, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, waiting, wonder, writing

There’s a wide empty field there. An expanse of open where the sunbeams fall in different ways through the trees.

A sound sometimes catches me, a squirrel, a bird or so soft it could be just the movement of the weeds.

Yellow pops of joy on top of tall green.

I consider this midpoint on the trail, the level place before I shift to jog and then struggle up the sudden steep place of a curving hill.

Then round the corner, oh it feels so free!

I am effortless, I swoosh past the houses. I careen.

There is no easy stride without the one that requires an inward decision to keep going.

There is no bliss over arriving finally without the questionable continuing your journey.

Today is the day between the dark death of Jesus Christ and the glorious morning a mourner discovered the empty tomb.

Today is the middle day, the day marked by all promises forgotten.

Jesus told them it would be so.

A little while, and you will see me no longer; and again a little while, and you will see me. Jesus, to the disciples. John 16:16

‭‭

Yet, it was so very hard to believe.

The miracle of it all.

I believe.

Much of life gets hard when we are in between. This morning I read that God keeps all of His promises.

I’m prone to worry over whether or not that could be true for me, that’s the human in me as was the human in Jesus.

In the garden he prayed, if it is possible for me to achieve what is your will for every human, the creative works of your hand, if it is possible,

Father, God maybe you have another plan.

“And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”

And when he rose from prayer, he came to the disciples and found them sleeping for sorrow, and he said to them, “Why are you sleeping? Rise and pray that you may not enter into temptation.””

‭‭Luke‬ ‭22:41-42, 45-46‬ ‭ESV‬‬

In what ways have you suffered?

What memories have you that represent redemption, foster continued hope?

What years of depression and dismay have you survived?

Here’s an example from my Instagram on yesterday:

Why I believe in redemption. I open the mail thinking it’ll be just a copy of my diploma, instead it’s an emotional chronicle of about 10 or so years. I lost my art scholarship, came home to try Georgia Southern. Some things happened because of me and to me. In 1982, it ended, Academic Suspension. 10 years later, I began again and graduated “In Good Standing”. #thecolorsofmybible #redemptionstory #nevertoolate #beginagain

Everything is restorable.

Struggle yields hope.

What is meant to destroy, through Christ, seeking His will, pairing it with human discipline and determination, is a redeemable starting point for a story.

I’m not who I was.

Happy Easter weekend.

Continue and believe.

Known and Seen

Abuse Survivor, bravery, confidence, contentment, courage, doubt, Forgiveness, grace, hope, love, mercy, praise, Prayer, pride, Redemption, rest, surrender, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

“Garden Girl”

It sounds very clinical and not necessarily positive at all,

To think God views us in an “under the microscope kind of way”.

But, He kinda does ya’ll, if you consider He knows everything.

“But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.” Jesus

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭10:30‬ ‭esv

That’s a miracle in and of itself.

Confirmation that He knows.

He knows which leave will fall first to the ground. Which morning bird will be the very first to sing, initiating a harmonious chorus.

Miracle it is, we are known and seen!

Miracles are everywhere. You might remember a few, decide to see it this way if you believe every second of every day plays out like an orchestrated performance,

God as the maestro, your life the powerful selection of calming peaceful repose in string, or crescendo arrival of horns fading into acceptance on delicate keys.

Yesterday met me with sincere congratulatory conversations.

One led to the question of what now or next?

I was bold, said I’m hoping to combine my nonprofit skills acquired in some way with my faith.

Perfect timing it was, a fellow faith based professional needs a grant-writer. We will meet next week, come up with a contract.

I said something along the lines of wow and then rambled on. She allowed me and calmly, steadily informed me.

This is God’s confirmation. You are taking the right steps. J.

I smiled, chills making their way down my calves to my feet.

I woke this morning after a sleep that was preceded by a conviction.

I’ve let some of my attitudes and behavior steer off course, turn corners fueled by pride, trying to keep my hands in and on things that are not mine.

Dangerously close to misrepresenting who I say I am because of Jesus.

“Fools’ words get them into constant quarrels; they are asking for a beating.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:6‬ ‭nlt

It’s a miracle!

Why so? It’s a miracle because I’m heeding what I heard God say over the voices in my world all in agreement with my bitterness, my resentment, my pride.

It’s a miracle that we get to hear God. There’s no other way to say it, God knowing me and saying so…

It’s a miracle.

I heard Him over the rallying behind me voices that say my attitude and pride are justified.

He knows the number of the hairs on my head.

He knows my ways. He knows and told me gradually yesterday and into now,

“Lisa Anne, get back to the place you are known. The place and temperament that I gave you and called you to use to show me to others.

Get quiet. Let your confidence stay quiet.

Ask forgiveness where it is needs to be offered.

Listen.

Because if you don’t you will miss out on the miracles I’m making in advance for you.

Move on, let go, accept that you are not in control.

I am.

Only control what you can, your attitude, your countenance that comes by staying closer to me and your willingness to retreat otherwise you will surely stumble, busting your butt on your pride.

You will fall flat on your face.” God, this morning.

What’s a miracle? Being known so well by my God, more than anyone will ever know.

Even more so, every single one of us is fully known the same.

God is everywhere. Don’t forget to notice. me

(And now my blog has a category called “pride”)

God Believes in You

Abuse Survivor, bravery, confidence, contentment, courage, Faith, fear, Forgiveness, freedom, grace, memoir, mercy, Peace, Redemption, Stillness, Trust, Vulnerability, writing

April’s newsletter is the first in a series of seven stories of how nothing is wasted with God, stories of women redeemed.

It begins like this…

When you didn’t or don’t now see evidence of Him, He sees you. When you knew very little of Him or forgot all you knew, He knew and knows you. When your hardships enslave you, cause fear and dismay, God cares for you. When harm came your way and it seems nothing or no one intervened to prevent it, God kept you, protected you. 

 I know this to be true. I am here to tell.

So are you.

Lisa Anne Tindal

What Are You Hoping For?

Abuse Survivor, Angels, Art, bravery, confidence, contentment, courage, doubt, Faith, hope, memoir, mercy, Prayer, Redemption, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, writing

I turned to Proverbs.

A thing I used to do, one a day corresponding with the date.

Proverbs 13 begins with talk of integrity and wisdom and continues to a verse I’ve heard and read before.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭13:12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I stayed there a minute. I quickly underlined the verse then decided I’m not really sure I understand the word, “defer”.

I google to see.

I discovered I’ve been wrong all along, thinking defer is like an out of my control detour caused by circumstance.

Actually, it’s not that at all!

What are you hoping for? What are you heartsick over?

Hope deferred is a goal discarded, a dream, a treasure you’ve decided was not a part of God’s measure.

That maybe, after all, His provision of what it takes to follow through, He just ran out of that inspirational juice when He got to you.

What a crazy thought. His love never ends. His providence is immeasurable.

That’s not up for us to decide. Who can fathom the mind of God?

Hope deferred, postponed or cancelled like on the back burner plans,

makes our hearts sick.

I rise now and I shall go and sit at my desk rather than my morning spot. I will work on the pending words that represent just one of my hopes.

I won’t put off my hope today

Nor, tomorrow. My April newsletter will continue. (sign up form popped up here, hopefully 😊)

What are you postponing, forgetting, deciding “not God’s plan” when we really mean I simply don’t believe.

Don’t defer your hope.

Continue and believe.

Desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

The Gift of Memory

Angels, bravery, Children, confidence, contentment, courage, daughters, Faith, family, grace, hope, memoir, mercy, obedience, Peace, praise, Prayer, Redemption, rest, Stillness, surrender, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, waiting, wonder, writing

A friend is praying that God would give me memory.

I’ve lost something I haven’t needed in years and I cannot find it, my college diploma.

Yesterday, my pregnant daughter asked if I remembered a certain pain and I didn’t, so I blamed it on one thing I did remember harshly…when it was actually another, my lack of memory,

Then told her it’s true what they say.

You don’t remember the pain once your baby is here.

I’m wondering if my friend’s prayers are stirring my memories as a whole, of all sorts of things.

I woke with first thought, prayer.

God, help me to know you more.

There are disjointed possibilities in my life, a new one popped up yesterday. I gotta circle back around, finish multiple things, my mind and plans chaotic over stuff begun and not finished

My thoughts are all over the place.

I make the coffee, open the door for fresh air and I remember.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

An elderly couple lived below us, my younger brother and me. We were not quiet apartment dwellers. We were single and in our 20’s. We frequented “River Street” in Savannah and found our way back home safely, how?

God only knows.

I watched them on Sundays, they’d come and go clutching Bibles, holding hands.

I avoided them in my comings and goings until one day in the stairwell, I came face to face with the husband, a sharply dressed gentleman.

I asked, “How can I know God’s will?”

He answered simply, “Know God.”

That was two decades ago and his answer left me hanging, left me lacking not longing. I wanted so much more than an answer so broad.

I desired a quick list or an easy plan.

I wanted it “one and done” for me, quickly fix me, God, I know you can!

Perfection, I yearned for, had no understanding of grace, God’s patience, His allowance of progression.

How in the world could we imagine God’s will as only quick when, after all, He has us and the whole world in His hands? He orders our seconds, minutes, hours and days. Their unfolding, He knows.

I understand the simplicity yet mystery now.

His pursuit of me is graceful and grace-filled.

There’s no end road to knowing God’s will.

It is a beautiful unraveling, a revealing of splendor and clarity and abundance as we go.

As we go unaffected by our daze and confusion only illumined by His spirit, His dwelling within us.

How do we know God’s will? I believe we remain quietly intent in our pursuit of Him.

He knows. Just ask Him.

God is everywhere. Don’t forget to notice. me

Linking up today with others at Five Minute Friday who are writing on the prompt “Lack”. https://fiveminutefriday.com/2019/04/11/fmf-writing-prompt-link-up-lack/

Lace and Roses

Abuse Survivor, birds, confidence, contentment, courage, Faith, grace, hope, memoir, mercy, Peace, praise, Prayer, Redemption, rest, Salvation, Stillness, surrender, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, waiting, wonder

“And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.”

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭1:13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Pink Happy Morning

I’d love to know all the birds by name, be able to identify them by their conversation, their song.

A cardinal intruded politely on a catch up session with friends yesterday. We were laughing and agreeing on our take on things when it happened.

It flew in front of us, a brilliant display. I announced, “a red bird”. They smiled, knowing my story and because they both know I’d never say “cardinal”, not the proper way.

I woke this morning not as I planned, 5:00 a.m and I had it all mapped out in my mind, finish what you started last night when both you and your printer stalled.

Instead, three times slapping at the 6:30 bell, I slumbered well.

Prepared my coffee grounds to discover my French press is not going press the way it’s supposed to again today.

I turn towards the birdsong remembering my mornings before, let the Lab out, notice the coming day.

I miss him, I miss those days.

Touching the morning, allowing it to touch me.

So, I stepped out to pay attention.

I noticed mist, a lacy veil above the moist green grass, the sky, a pale pink horizon and roses are early bloomers, startling red!

Back inside to correct the coffee, I leave the door open to listen, allowing the morning to come in.

Settled in my morning spot with little time to sit, I think and say it again.

Lord, order my day. Amen

The geese are on their way to the pond. I hear them.

Hear my mama, “Here they come!”

Begin again, start again. Rise and walk new ways.

God knows your hopes, mercy leads the way. Follow the sure pattern, soar with ease and sure direction.

Faith.

Continue and believe.