There’s a verse I love that helps me make sense of both tragedy and unanswered questions…of longings for different.
“The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever…”
Deuteronomy 29:29 ESV

I’m standing in my kitchen remembering a verse I read earlier about “secrets”. A verse about the Lord hearing the cries of his children and also knowing the secret sorrows.
I pulled the big Bible from the shelf.
The one I gave my mama, New King James Version with hardly an underline or turned down corner or bookmark.
I’ve often wondered if she ever opened it or if she just accepted my gift because she knew I needed to give it, a gesture from a daughter hoping to help, to mend, to say something unexpressed.
I looked for the verse and then others I love to compare.
We all carry secret sorrows, longings too long expressed, spoken of so much we’ve exhausted the listeners.
Questions, emotions we cover because we “shouldn’t feel that way after so long or she’s just a dreamer”.
Today, if my mama were here she’d be eighty-six years old. She’s been gone for fifteen years.
I thought to watch the DVD given to us all from the funeral home and then put it back on the shelf.
I can’t really say why. It just felt best.
I have a roast cooking slowly in the oven, green beans very buttery and soon creamy mashed potatoes flavored with mayonnaise.
My husband will wake from overnight working to be met by this gesture.
That’s what I decided felt right on the day of mama’s birth.
That, and not rushing my day but opening again the burgundy large print Bible to the place where the Lord appeared to the amazement of Moses and assured him.
“…For I know their sufferings…” Exodus 3:7 NKJV
Closing the big Bible and deciding to leave it in a place beside me, a slip of paper fell out.
The sweetest thing, a little Sunday School coupon filled out by my daughter.
She’d printed the words and her name and then scratched both out to change her writing to cursive. 😊
It was a note telling me that along with other chores, she would “wash the dishes to honor God and me”.
And I began to feel the truth of being seen by her, the tender recollection of days as a mama that were both tired and trying.
They say the things we long for most that begin very early are
To be seen
To be soothed
To be secure.
Where do you feel you’re lacking? What is the secret ache you’re carrying?
What hurt needs soothing?
God sees you.
God offers a healing balm.
For me it was a note from my daughter that my mama kept tucked away,
the realization that my daughter’s a mama with just as kind and observant a daughter of her own.
Don’t look for answers, just know you are fully known and wait tender hearted and at rest for the evidences of love that will catch you by surprise.
God is everywhere. Don’t forget to notice.
Always
Remember, love lives on.























