Teaching

October Morning with Bible

courage, Faith, grace, Prayer, rest, Salvation, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized
Morning is mine

Morning is mine

I’m a stubborn woman; but, I’m quiet about it, so you might not know just how set I am on not being swayed.

If there’s something I believe, you can be sure I believe it with all I got.

I won’t believe because someone told me to believe, demanded I consider their perspective and accept their truth.

It’ll be because I’ve pondered and decided it is true and I’m better for its knowledge.

Too many times at the hands of too many people was my body demanded of and my thoughts, my beliefs coerced.

Years ago, I was chastised by a teacher. Told something akin to never being as good as you can be until you read your Bible every day.

Naturally, I resisted. “She’s not telling me what to do.”

When they’d ask for record keeping sake, “How many daily Bible readers do we have?” the number never matched the room and in silence, eyes scanned the semicircle set of chairs, I suppose they wondered who.

If they’d asked, I would have owned up and said why.

 I came to it on my own, eventually and unforced. I admit she was right, I only wish I’d come sooner and it been more peaceably presented.

My Bible is my place of learning, of comfort, of finding the scoundrels and the stubborn who finally gave up control and said,

“Okay, I believe despite question. I believe because you’ve shown me reason to believe.”

So, I journal. I read. I pray. I tell little Instagram stories of my God moments and I tell them quietly; hopefully, bravely enough to bend a listening ear, a searching eye, a longing heart.

Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what He has done for my soul. Psalm 66:16

Far be it from me to make tremendous claims or to attempt to convince another as if I’m soothsayer or savant.

Certainly not saint.

I pray I not become boastful, pompous or judgemental.

I pray I only share with clarity my life with God and for the sake of humble remembering, my life before.

May I, every morning attempt to set the direction of my day in knowing more of God through his word and then saying “Okay, I see. I trust. I understand now.” because I stored up a word, an account of something similar and its unraveling from God’s perspective.

Mostly, though, I just hope to keep getting closer to who I say I am, a woman quietly confident in God.

Not what I write, a piece of art or a position in community.

Rather, a woman who God sees when I fall face down to pray and when I smile silently and contentedly as

October sunbeams fall sweetly across the pages of my Bible.

A woman who sees God so clearly others do too.

And discover for themselves, the poetry, love and lessons of their own Holy Bible.

 

Letting Be

Faith, family, grace, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, Vulnerability, wonder

imageShe called me “sweetie” when I walked in and naturally I pondered whether that was a sweet thing or condescending like lost puppy talk.

It was a kind welcome, “sweetie” must be her word, I decided, it seemed so natural.

Earlier that morning, someone else called me “Honey”. Same thing, just a thing she called people, I supposed.

The usual instructor not there and the only spot available between two men, one my friend’s husband, uninterested in small talk and the other, in his 70’s and really focused on his balance.

He practiced a while, one knee bent, and the opposite leg teetering, like a limb bent by heavy fruit, I feared it might snap.

I thought he might tumble and I knew the reaction would be kind, still, I hoped he didn’t for his sake.

I considered leaving; but, the music was so good, acoustic mellowed out guitar versions of ” Let it Be”, “Imagine” and some softened up Tom Petty “Mary Jane”.

I decided instead to relax and breathe in my little strip of space, a little closet-like cocoon.

The poses drew the tensions up and away from my shoulders. I accomplished for the first time, “tree poses” with my eyes set firm and my arms up high above my shoulders.

“Child’s pose”,  I realized is the same as falling on my face in prayer. The instructor told us, “The forehead on the ground is the place where letting go takes place.”

“Oh”…I thought…I know this already.

Ending with “Shavasana”, flat on thin mat, I feel thinner now.

The hard floor underneath me and a weighted bag on my belly, I close my eyes and breathe.

Then, interrupted by the most gentle touch, like a silver spoon dropping a dollop of heavy cream into a warm cup, the instructor gently massages essential oil into the spot above my nose and on my temples.

I notice the scent, contemplate it and decide if it were a color it would be the tint of pale blue sky and I pray,

speaking in a way a bit blunt.

Words spill from my mind like the rat a tat of ammunition and then

they slow with a quiet confirmation.

Gratitude finds its way into my thoughts as warm tears make little puddles around my eyes.

I rise slowly, open my eyes and let the tears evaporate.

Then, listen in farewell “mountain pose” upwards stretching high and then hands at my heart, as the instructor wishes us peace before adding “Namaste”.

I reply “Namaste” and my heart opened, whisper a silent

“Selah”

and an

“Amen.”

 

Watching God’s Children

Children, courage, Faith, family, Motherhood, Teaching, Uncategorized

 

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All it takes to be changed and moved by God’s word is to read the stories of people and places who knew Jesus, to read the stories of Jesus.

I believe the writers of God’s ancient yet beautiful words had in their minds that for generations to come, scripture would change us. Stories and teachings are different in small ways each time we read them. We’re softened in areas we need softening and corrected in the areas we’ve fallen prey to doubt, lost our way, maybe need a little empathy, not sympathy.

We come to God, to His word in different ways, different places each time we pause to read our Bible.

My house has no children now.

I pause a minute here.

They’re doing good things, learning new things, are doing them in new and bigger places.

The story of young Jesus in the temple had me standing right there with his mama, our arms linked.  Her son amongst scholars and leaders, was holding his own.

I read the verses and all I could do was think how overjoyed his mama must’ve been to find him; yet, wishing he’d never left her side, didn’t have to venture  in new directions.

I wonder if she longed to cradle him in her arms again. If she could go back to the miraculous starry night, would she if she could or did the sight of him speaking of His Heavenly Father overwhelm her?

Mary, the ultimate giver of roots and wings, an empty nest beyond compare.

Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. 42 When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. 43 After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. 44 Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. 45 When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. Luke 2:41-47

I imagine Mary,  when after losing her son for three days, walking up to the temple and there he is!

She’s standing still, overwhelmed as she catches her breath.

I see her there, utterly enthralled.

His character, his voice and his pursuit of knowledge.

I can sense her knowing, her understanding, her acceptance.

There are things he will do, places he’ll go that she’d never know, not be able to go along. He won’t need her there.

Captivated, she listened and watched.

Something happens in a parent when the child they’ve raised speaks up, speaks for another or simply stands tall in crowd we’d be intimidated by.

It’s a beautiful moment to see.

Watching your child teach children with love and authority, speak with confidence, or demonstrate some act of kindness to another.

Take on a challenge you didn’t expect,

expecting to see it through.

Or maybe, if your children are adults like mine, they notice a place you could do better, tell you about it and you’re not offended by their truth.

You’ve taught them well, you decide.

So you, stand in the distance and watch when you can.

Finding joy in finding them again after being apart.

Captivated by them, God’s children, knowing

He’s watching them now.

  And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me?

Luke 2: 49

 Linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee and her story of a time she thought herself as less than and now she knows so, so much better!

 http://jenniferdukeslee.com/put-brakes-today-happiness-hijacker/

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Santa Shirts and Jesus

Faith, grace, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

 

imageAt Christmas, we have a big party. It’s a tradition. There are about 200 people we invite  or are referred and then we make sure Santa comes by. We sing. We eat. We laugh. Some of us find our eyes moist with emotion.

Letters to Santa (our agency) filled in wish lists by grown-ups who believe in us, in Santa, despite all else. And, we and the community of sponsors grant their wishes and we all have Christmas together.

So, the phone rang this morning. I answered and he said, “This is…. did you get my letter yet for the party?”

I answered, “Not sure, I’ll check, can I call you right back?”

He hesitated a minute or two, I waited, then he said “Okay” and gave me his number twice.

I repeated it, scribbled on paper,then went and found his letter asking for a

hammer

and

a sweatshirt.

Found the little sticky with his number and called…several rings and then his ringtone message kicked in…

“Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose…”

Followed by, ” this is….sorry I can’t get the phone… I’ll call you back soon as I can.. and remember Jesus loves you!”

Sure enough, he did call back and I told him I’d see him at the party.

“Okay. Jesus loves you…bye!” he said.

He made the front page of the paper last year, he and I. He wore a bright green shirt with a Santa in the middle and me, a dressy blouse with big red flowers.

He liked my shirt and I, his.

He said, “Let’s trade!” I laughed and he threw his head back with a jubilant cackle.

Work, life, laughter, little things that remind me of big, big grace when I forget.

Rudolph, Christmas, Santa shirts and Jesus.

What a wonderful life!

The world, to me

courage, Faith, grace, praise, Prayer, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability
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Feathers, flowers, baby pine cones and birds…little is much.

It would mean the world to me to stay in this place. The sweetly surrendered time that brings me pause

Causing my eyes to burn warm with the sensation of blessed assurance.

The time, not searching, unhurried, not anxious, the time that I pause inviting God’s reply.

The moment, seconds only really when I pause and it comes, His voice, in a clear and gentle rush of real…

You are good.

You are pursuing me, continue.

I see you getting closer. I see your grasp holding more tightly now,

my desires for you.

I see you choosing to rest, not fix.

I hear your voice, notice your words, your thoughts.

I see you choosing love and mercy over authority and demand.

I see you, righteous and strong; beginning to wear your robe of assurance now.

Your days of feeling unfit to wear the garment of my love are fading.

I see you, beginning to wear it well, beginning to lovingly smooth its sleeves and collar as you wait, peacefully,  prayerfully before speaking or acting.

Your days of self-righteous rushing ahead are necessary no more.

You anticipate troubles, expect hardship; in this world, there is much over which to worry.

But, you know trust. You’ve chosen to be wise and humble, forgiving and meek.

And though I’ve promised you’d inherit the earth, it’s good to see you content in the smallest of its things, to see you beginning, finally to  believe

You are blessed.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

Linking up with Holley Gerth and Jennifer Dukes Lee

http://holleygerth.com/

http://jenniferdukeslee.com/happiness-dare-pre-orders-gifts/

Broken Cherished Things

courage, Faith, family, Teaching, Uncategorized

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I moved it inside.

The plant by the pool, neglected and uncertain of thriving, the one with the succulents and stones.

I’d planted it meticulously remembering, “not too deep, room for roots to grow, break up the roots and soak it all down good, but don’t beat them to death with water …then leave it alone”.

I took the time, finally to use her pot

thinking it’d be my focus, my tribute and yet it was barely making it now midsummer.

So, I brought it inside, the succulents in the broken-edged pot.

The shallow dish planter from my mama’s deck, its edges crumbled and broken off in chunks, still I’d kept it all these years.

It sits nearby now, beginning to live again brightly.

Vivid green, sprigs of new and thriving of what was planted before.

It must be the choice of spot, the repositioning or perhaps just the noticing of need, my giving an honored spot close by.

Or maybe, the remembering of being cherished and loved again.

Moved closer now, close as possible to remember her love.

Remembering her hands in dirt, seasoning in the pots and icing on the cakes.

Continue reading →

Cause me to see, Lord

courage, Faith, family, grace, Motherhood, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.

Psalm 143:8

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I watched a little boy digging a tunnel from the place where the tide crept close up to his mama’s feet. His lanky arms, working hard with occasional glances up to meet eyes and small of his mama.

A straight line, little clumpy hills bordering the hollowed out path from edge of ocean to his mama.

She smiled towards him, then towards me as I stepped over his tunneled path to walk down towards the open space of shore.

Her smile, a knowing smile, the sweetness of motherhood, our bond.

What beautiful stories are the ones of mamas and children, brief moments of treasure.

We walked on, my husband drifting ahead, slightly towards open water. My walk more slow, a response to the invitation of space wide and unhindered now.

I reach down to touch a washed up feather, wet, dull and textured, beaten by surf into its shape.  I’ll place it in my book, allow it to dry, become white again and cause me to remember it as my treasure.

This morning’s verse, a morning verse, a call to God to turn my heart, my eyes and mind towards grand things and small things. The King James Version, more direct a request  asking “Cause me to know you and see you, God.”

Cause me, stop me in my haste; may I be unable to look away, to not be aware of you, Lord.

Turn my face, Lord. Open my eyes and heart to the wide expanse of your glory and to the smallest of stories that invite my reading along.

 

New and Foreign Territory

courage, Faith, Prayer, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized

She asked if I’d help and I was hesitant.

“I don’t want to say yes and not do it well. I want to make sure it’s right for me, want to make sure I can connect.”

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I told her I knew nothing about being a Missions leader because, well…I’m just not a mission type person. It’s all so foreign and far away. I’m not worldly thinking. I told her I’d look into it, see what a leader should look like, don’t want to do it halfway.

All the countries, all the places all over the world and “Shoot! I’m afraid to even get on a plane!”

All my life I’ve considered my work my mission, called it that sometimes.

poverty, abuse, homelessness and suicide

My mission field is my work.

Still, I promised I would consider leading and the deadline to tell her, I missed it, but knew she was waiting to hear, waiting for me to pray about it.

I hadn’t until just now.

Asked God, “Clarify to me what you would have me do.”

Last week I met someone who described faith in action as being a deliverer of God’s kingdom right where you are to as many people as possible, to just start a spread.

I read in Matthew, a parable of an invitation to a wedding, unopened by many, ignored by many.

Then today, thinking about the question, the nomination…I journaled again, the words of Jabez…Bless me indeed, adding little words…good things, best things, right things.

Then on to the next line, a simple, vulnerable, powerful prayer…

Enlarge my territory.

I stopped, knew it then, underlined the words, straight solid and bold.

I researched the goals, the purpose of WMU and I decided to help.

Woman’s Missionary Union challenges Christian believers to understand and be radically involved in the mission of God.

To be challenged to understand more and to be radically involved.

To help the women and girls of my church as believers becoming more involved in things we see as “foreign”.

Linking up to hurriedly talk about help for Five Minute Friday…I think I took longer, though.

http://buff.ly/29QYESi

Life and Treasure

courage, Faith, grace, Prayer, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

I noticed it there.

The early morning humidity touched my face like a clothes dryer opened to reach for clean towels. Clinging to my skin thick, unwelcoming and uninviting, I fill bowls with cool water for the dogs and glance toward the corner of porch.

Such a heavy morning, blah, slow moving pessimistically blah

I see it and move to capture it, getting closer to notice its frayed edged wings.

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Black velvet and azure blue with little specks of bronze, I’m careful as I reach for it, my thumb and finger delicate in grasp.

Wings broken and pressed like a sentimental  bloom, I decide to save it, for the sake of simply feeling fortunate in its finding.

So, I bring the butterfly inside, lie it down on the page of the day’s Psalm and carefully move my Bible to the center of table as I go to make coffee.

The house is quiet and cool, ceiling fan whisping my hair and the butterfly just slightly shifting on thin page of Bible.

I read from Psalm 7, thinking  of harmful and hurtful times.

I thought of anger, fear, lives lost and of blame and judgement, of understable hatred and hatred stirred up.

Thought of my thoughts and I wondered then,  do I really understand?

Could I maybe understand more clearly?

Noticing verses, timely and clear, I pause.

O’ Lord my God, if I have done this, if there is wrong in my hands, If I have repaid my friend with evil…. Test me, you who test our minds and our hearts. Psalm 7:3,9

Help me to see me clearly.

Then, I prayed and wrote and thought of hopes to see more clearly.

To do no harm if I could help.

Like the butterfly, captured and killed on back screen porch.

Could harm have been prevented?

Had it come in to escape the weather or maybe Colt, the happy lab bouncing in the air, excited by its beautiful movement snapped his mouth sharply and clipped its wings?

Brought it to the porch, a delicate and beautiful treasure harmed by rough exchange of play.

But, found by me.

A thing of beauty, tortured, lifeless, but beautiful still.

Life, its beauty remains.

Life, a treasured gift.

 

 

 

Going There

courage, Faith, family, grace, Prayer, Teaching, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

There’s a place I’d like to go except that it’s hard to go there.  I imagine the plans, think of the beginnings and I understand the decision; but, wish it made sense for now.

It wasn’t a trailer, it was a mobile home. It was big and solid and positioned in the spot away from pines but cushioned by the shade of trees.  Its foundation was intentional and solid, not blocks strategic in their placement, no there was a real foundation.

My parents’ last home, the home place. They waited a long time to be there.

The home was stable, designed with stability in mind; it sat on a firm foundation.

The road to turn towards the place is still dirt. A slight left at the bottom of the hill will carry you through a narrow path and a field to the place it still sits.

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It’s been a long while since I’ve gone to the empty house.  Someone asked recently, “When’s the last time you went?” I answered, “A long time, hard to think about it.”

Then nothing else was said.

It’s still standing despite years and weather and no touch from the hands of family. But, still standing because it was built on a permanent foundation.

The place of its situation is level and smooth, built on faith, dreams and hope and it was good.

It was loved. It was loved well and will be again…at the appointed time.

Yesterday,  I heard a quick word about good things that come at appointed times. Things that come when we reject the hindrance of doubt. Essentially the words reminded me, God is good and Lisa, he wants good things for you. He knows the things you long for, things that have been established ahead of time to come to you.

The foundation is there. The building up is happening, maybe you don’t see it. Maybe you want to rush in, rebuild, tear down,start over. You look back at what was or you look at the passing of time and fear the longing to build will be forsaken…you’ll accept the falling down of the roof and the rotting of the boards because you understand it can’t happen on desire alone.

And some of the tools of the rebuilding are simply not yours, are not matters in your hands.

At the appointed time, though, if you believe, it will come to pass.

The foundation will be there underneath it all. It will be steady. It will not have moved.

Waiting for the time to build again, a place to gather and remember our family, our foundation, to built on strength and heart and patience.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

 

http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/