“Why do you use/love weird words?” one or both of my children.

In some form or fashion, the question often came. And I’d say what was true.

“I love words. If we’ve got ‘em we need to use them.”

I have an old dictionary, 1962 Webster’s. The pages are the color of clay and smelly.

But, I love words. I just do. God woke me with the question again of why I have a pattern of making myself small, why small feels safe. A word came, do I try to “diminish” my worth? Alone and small feels safe. And yet, I am certain there’s only a tiny bit I know of all who might be influenced by my story, by my creative expression.

There’s safety in being diminished. I looked the word up in the old dictionary and it’s just what I thought, “to make less, weaken, impair”.

God led me to Exodus. The people were discontent with the bountiful provision. Most translations say they were “grumbling” and yet, the more appropriate and earlier translated word was “murmuring”.

Again, I go to Webster. To murmur is to “utter complaints in a low doleful sound”. And “doleful” is a sound that someone makes when they are sorrowful or in dismay.

The whole congregation of Israel was “grumbling”. In the ESV version, the word is used eight times in Chapter 16.

I’m the KJV, the word is “murmurings”.

“I have heard the murmurings of the children of Israel: speak unto them, saying, At even ye shall eat flesh, and in the morning ye shall be filled with bread; and ye shall know that I am the LORD your God.”
‭‭Exodus‬ ‭16‬:‭12‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Yesterday, I saw faces of grocery store shoppers. I saw a dullness, an apathy, a less than attentive glance to those around them. I saw “doleful” expressions.

Why does one word matter? Murmuring comes from dismay. Grumbling is well just more of a selfish grouchiness.

It matters because of the invitation to know that God sees you, hears your quiet complaint. God is provision. Your woeful or questioning wilderness is being noticed.

And just as the Lord told the Israelites even in their hopeless state…I cared for you. He is caring for me.

For you.

For the generations that are here and to come because of you.

“And Moses said, This is the thing which the LORD commandeth, Fill an omer of it to be kept for your generations; that they may see the bread wherewith I have fed you in the wilderness, when I brought you forth from the land of Egypt.”
‭‭Exodus‬ ‭16‬:‭32‬ ‭KJV‬‬