Redemption

Tasting Mercy

bravery, confidence, contentment, courage, eating disorder, Faith, freedom, hope, mercy, Peace, Redemption, Salvation, Stillness, testimony, Vulnerability, wisdom, writing

Remember when you refused to say “diet”, instead lifestyle or good choices for my health? Maybe you’ve counted calories, drank smooshed up vegetables in a pretty glass, restricted cream and sugar in your coffee.

All in an effort to be well, to be satisfied with yourself, body and soul.

Yesterday, I gazed at the casserole dish of cheesy baked spaghetti my daughter made. I remembered the day I would’ve gone for thirds, if by myself eat the rest of it.

I let the memory help me, I let it fade into the shadows. I left it there.

I woke up early unnecessarily today. I prayed beside my bed that God would help me keep learning, keep listening, keep strengthening my spiritual health.

I see the word prompt for today is “taste”. Rather than think of passages like kind words being sweeter than honey or tasting and seeing that the goodness of the Lord is good.

I rested for a few minutes, soaking up a passage I never tire of,

The passage about the woman who’d been hemorrhaging for twelve years and had gone broke trying to get well, to find a solution to her blood saturated clothing.

The crowd was thick. She could get close to Jesus without being noticed. She did. She touched the hem of his robe and instantly everything changed. She got well.

Jesus knew it. Knew she was there. Knew she was desperate and called her out from her chosen obscurity, her hope to keep herself secret.

“When the woman realized she couldn’t hide any longer, she came and fell trembling at Jesus’ feet. Before the entire crowd she declared, “I was desperate to touch you, Jesus, for I knew if I could just touch even the fringe of your garment I would be healed.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭8:47‬ ‭TPT‬‬

All eyes and ears were on her then, Jesus didn’t just heal her, He gave her the voice to invite healing for others.

I haven’t thought of it this way until today.

Others see and hear us. See how we’ve changed and keep seeking to be healed.

On Sunday (isn’t Sunday always okay tomorrow I start the diet day?) I considered doing Whole30 again.

The diet that restricts certain foods as a way for you to learn what is specifically not good for you is work. It takes effort, makes you feel like a brave fighter or a competitive something or other.

But, there’s no cheese allowed, no cream in my coffee, no chocolate, no red wine, no bread, no sugar, no peanut butter (!!!). The “no” list is long.

Earlier this week, I embraced a friend in a funeral home. I didn’t expect to hear her words through tears. I just know they surprised me, sweetly and certainly she spoke.

“I’m gonna need you.” she said before I spoke a word. On the way to this visitation I almost decided against I decided I’d offer myself as a person to call.

I’d tell her “If you run out of friends to call or no one’s available, you can always call me.”

You see, we know each other but not dining together or visiting each other’s home sort of friends.

Her greeting me with “I’m gonna need you.” surprised me and then it didn’t.

This thing called blogging, posting what God tells me on Instagram, this sharing of sitting on the sofa sketches at night, this creative thing God so graciously made me to do.

It has an audience of listeners, seekers, “needers” like me.

It’s just me being vulnerably, being honestly me.

My “sermons to self” sometimes become hopeful words for others, I suppose.

I pray this anyway.

So, on this chilly quiet morning, I make myself breakfast. I don’t skip it thinking I’ll eat later. I am intentional with starting the day filled with possibilities and errands well.

I take the English muffin top and toss it. I like the bread, but I just choose the bottom. I add sharp cheddar to the egg white and turkey sausage and let the broiler make it bubbly. I add a dollop of cherry preserves to balance the savory. I place it on the pretty china.

I sit and enjoy it.

Like I told my friend who is grieving and I continue to tell others and myself,

“Take it easy on yourself.”

Offer as much mercy you’ve shown others to yourself.

Cease striving, seek wellness.

Be humble when convicted, but don’t punish yourself, don’t let bitter regret or self-hate simmer.

Continue and believe.

Believe you’re fearfully and wonderfully made and so fully known and loved.

Be well. It is well.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:14‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Thank you for sustaining me Lord, for keeping me well, for reminding me of what harms and what helps me, what makes me a beautiful offering, a vessel to pour out new life, love and listening. Thank you for showing me gently what limits my abilities, takes me from your Spirit. I am listening. I am learning. Thank you. Because of your mercy, Amen

Find Rest

Art, confidence, contentment, courage, Faith, grace, Holy Spirit, Prayer, Redemption, Salvation, Vulnerability, waiting, wisdom, wonder, writing

I designed a notecard from a watercolor. The cover is an abstract landscape with soft coral, blue, earthy green and a touch of thick gold.

My technique has been described as flowing, comforting and sometimes subtle, others vivid, the colors.

I like to say it’s “just giving and taking away”.

Inside the card are three words

“Return to rest.”

Today, the writing prompt is “effort”.

I thought of how grace isn’t effort based, us being the recipient of this gift, but relationship with God often asks us to continue seriously, our seeking and knowing more fully.

Yesterday, I stood outside and opened my palm and prayed.

I asked God to help me sense His Spirit, develop such a closeness to Jesus in me that I hear His gentle voice

That I heed His teaching, am sure of my direction.

That I give and take away in the same way that He does. In this effort, not a hopeful change; but in this serious attempt I will better know my Savior.

I will better know what to pursue and what to let fade away.

May my greatest effort not be a blank canvas that invites color, words spoken or on a page.

May my most important effort be to know my God better and in this way

Know peace. Know rest.

Return to rest.

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

(Notecards and other art available at http://www.lisaannetindal.me )

More Than Pretty Words

bravery, confidence, courage, Faith, family, freedom, grace, mercy, Peace, Prayer, Redemption, rest, Salvation, surrender, testimony, Trust, Vulnerability, waiting, wisdom, writing

It occurred to me as I thought of today’s prompt, “trust”, that so many of the words we use may be less powerful, more pretty, even cliche.

Trust is a word I write every morning, some days God follows with a bold period and often underlined.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Trust.

I start the day with this written commitment. Still, some days it’s nothing more than a pleasant hope, a halfhearted decision to remember God is my Father and I am His child.

I can trust Him.

Even if trusting humanly is a challenge for me, an established avoidance or cynical pattern.

I can decide to trust God.

Words like trust, faith, redemption, and salvation are powerful and unchanging words.

They are the fruit of our Creator’s character and intent for us.

They are God’s covenant.

“Promise”, another word we hold loosely when we consider it from human experience, is just as valuable, a weighty word.

Today, I will trust God. I will know and cherish words like trust, faith, mercy, grace, freedom, salvation, healing, and peace.

I’ll embrace these words tightly, held and certain like a child being cradled in the strong arms of a parent.

“I am carrying you.” God

He keeps His promises.

He gives joy, trust, patience.

We’re not able on our own to sustain these.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:22‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Redeemed

courage, curiousity, Faith, family, hope, memoir, mercy, praise, Prayer, Redemption, Stillness, Vulnerability, wonder

“Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭107:2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Georgia

When this kitty cat came to me as a homeless sort, sleeping in a horse stall because she got separated from the litter and the mama, she hid under the house.

Imagine me lying on my belly in the overgrown elephant ear plants in the corner near the kitchen.

There was no coaxing her out. She came to me reluctantly the next morning.

Last week someone suggested I might not be the best kitten mother, maybe I don’t have the time or patience to tame her.

I considered it, that I’m not a real animal person, that she’d be better in another place.

But, I persisted.

I approached her with the understanding of her lack of trust, understanding she felt more safe all alone, she could only trust herself, she’d learned.

I had empathy with a tiny grey cat and changed one thing.

I became unselfish with my morning quiet. I made it her time first.

I allow her to find my lap. I don’t reach for the journal, the Bible, the pen or the stack of books.

I cup my warm coffee cup and I sit quietly. I think. I breathe.

I pray. We sit.

Early on, I considered the kitten sheltering under the house, hidden and afraid and I decided to see her perspective.

This new place, these new noisy people, this warmth inside, this back favorite room where the sun warms the blanket.

This woman, this man, these people plus a little toddler, a bit overwhelming.

The person who cautioned over the adjustment was also adamant not to allow my granddaughter near.

I wondered. I decided it will be okay. Because my grandchild understands the need for a gentle voice, a gentle hand.

She’s not bothered if kitty cat runs away, we’ll just try another time.

Gently.

Gently and with our persistence she sees we’re redeeming her uncertain beginning.

Same with us, the invitation to the Savior’s call, the gentle beckoning of us to come near, be safe.

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:16‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Be taken care of.

I pray you don’t resist the call to be rescued by the sacrifice provided by God, our Father

His Son, our teacher, our Savior.


“Come, ye sinners, poor and needy,
Weak and wounded, sick and sore,
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity, love, and pow’r.


I will arise and go to Jesus;
He will embrace me in His arms.
In the arms of my dear Savior,
Oh, there are ten thousand charms.” Come Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy J. Hart, 1759

Time, Seasons and Shalom

contentment, courage, Faith, grace, grief, hope, Peace, Redemption, Salvation, Stillness, Trust, Vulnerability, waiting, wisdom, wonder

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1-8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Every morning now, I open the back sliding door. Like a chef waving his hand over the skillet to invite the aroma upward, I invite the changing season in.

I step out and feel the change on my bare feet. The flowers drying to brittle fragile brown while others are vibrant still.

I read this morning about “Shalom”, an invitation to seeking peace.

Shalom, a greeting or a farewell in ancient days, “Peace”.

Priscilla Garatti

It’s a thing I can’t fully understand, how peace was established for us and how we’re supposed to believe it, cling to it, trust it

When it makes no sense.

The page in my Psalms and Proverbs book has faded names from a decade ago.

“Ginny”, a mama whose teenage son died by suicide. I wonder now how she and her husband are doing. If they’ve found moments of peace.

I woke to see that a friend has suffered the loss of a grandchild.

Nothing to do, but pray.

Pray for peace in unfathomably sad things.

Prayer comforts. It was long established for us, the way to peace, the place to seek.

A quiet room, standing still with the changing grass cushioning bare feet or with a friend with Jesus too, holding hands, being held.

“Honor me by trusting in me in your day of trouble. Cry aloud to me, and I will be there to rescue you.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭50:15‬ ‭TPT‬‬

Shalom.

Continue and believe.

Unwaveringly Believing

Angels, bravery, confidence, contentment, Faith, grandchildren, memoir, Redemption, rest, Salvation, testimony, Trust, Truth, Vulnerability

As a child so much of the Bible scared me.

I thought that was its intent, especially the Book of Revelation. Can you relate?

Angry preachers and their warnings with the intention of frightening me towards God.

My twenties changed to avoidance altogether, no chance I’d dare to believe that punishment for my behaviors might be met with a full measure of mercy. Thirties brought hope, a timid hope that perhaps I could chance trusting, believing in a different way.

Here I am at sixty plus a year.

Going on a decade or so of steadiness in my seeking even if my walk isn’t always steady.

That’s the thing.

Unwaveringly and simply, I keep deciding moment by moment to believe God.

In my quiet and confident way.

In God who created me, saw me through choices and troubles that were not his intent for me.

Still, His intention is that I know now,

He never left me, never will.

Like the wings of angel draped around my shoulders, surrounding me in love.

I’ve been cared for. The foundation of my faith is His provision, protection, wisdom, mercy and grace.

When my days are complete. I want it to be said of me.

She kept believing in Jesus. She wasn’t afraid to live according to His Word.

“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
‭‭John‬ ‭15:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

What did Jesus tell them, tells us through His recorded words?

Remain connected. Be a healthy and thriving branch of my goodness, mercy and love getting the nourishment to grow directly from me. (my paraphrase)

“…apart from me you can do nothing.”
‭‭John‬ ‭15:5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Love everyone. Endure. Be found faithful.

Be met by God on your last day on earth this way.

Leave stories of your faith for your children and grandchildren. Live this way, Lisa.

Even when others drift away, make allowances for sin and avoid hard conversations.

Abide in me, stay.

You don’t have be a fighter, just be you, a gentle and steady believer,

A victor of the faith.

“Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.”
‭‭Revelation‬ ‭2:10‬ ‭ESV

Lord, thank you for the changes you’ve brought in me and keep bringing as I continue and believe.

My Encouragement to You

Angels, bravery, confidence, contentment, courage, Faith, Prayer, Redemption, Salvation, testimony, Trust, Vulnerability, wisdom, wonder, writing

Suppose I post this little graphic on social media today, maybe add one word “please” in front of “pray”.

There may be a flurry of questions, curiosity over what in the world is wrong with Lisa?! (now).

Or maybe others would think…

there she goes again, talking about things she should keep to herself.

Either could be the case.

But, it is encouragement.

Pray.

The tattered book I’m revisiting has no dates beside the entries of my thoughts. There’s a smiley face beside a verse, dog-eared corners from not sure when. There are prayers, quite personal on the pages.

Prayers that have been heard, met with either answer or with growth, changes in me and situations.

Peace in the form of acceptance.

My prayers were heard.

They will be today.

Whether they’re the confident gratitude that thanks God for knowing or

The bewildered surrender that finds me face down and allowing tears. No words, just flow.

Or simply, again.

Thank you for today. I woke up well.

Recently someone likened “thinking about it” to “praying about it”.

Said it’s the same, just semantics.

I can say with certainty it is not. We can not know everything and so our thoughts are incapable of changing our conditions.

I’ll be careful here. I’m not a theologian and I’ve begged God for things I’ve yet to see.

But, oh the things I have been shown. It astounds me all the times I’ve prayed and resisted the urge to take action.

God has sweetly surprised me.

A phone call longed for that pops up, a request for Jesus to put his healing hands on a family, a plea for knowing more clearly than ever His nearness and protection.

Three very recent answered prayers.

A pleading soul is the soul at peace, at peace with its position in this universe.

“I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles. For the angel of the Lord is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34:4-7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Lord, thank you for changing my understanding of prayer, of bringing me to here, a place to boldly say to others, “my encouragement to you is that you make prayer a priority.” Help me to help others see the powerfully available connection to you, the one who fully knows us.

Lord, keep teaching me to pray. In Jesus Name and because of your great mercy, I say

Amen.

Here’s the book I’ve cherished, full of praise, wisdom and prayers of desperation. http://Words of Wisdom: A Life-Changing Journey through Psalms and Proverbs https://www.amazon.com/dp/141439943X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_MJRAV5Y5AWZKE0A9D19M

Knowing A Little

Abuse Survivor, bravery, confidence, contentment, Faith, Peace, Redemption, rest, Stillness, surrender, waiting, wisdom
What I Know

What’s one question you have? An intrusion in your thoughts that refuses to go on its way?

How does God feel about questions?

Us knowing a little, but aching to know everything.

I wondered.

A little may be all you’re supposed to know and may just be enough.

This way of thinking came after praying. To put it into practice, I listed the things I do know. They outnumbered those I don’t.

My vision is blurry. My understanding is unfinished. My conclusions are often skewed. I’m patterned to protect myself, to anticipate bad news, to not be knocked down by surprise.

So, I like to know it all.

I’m changing though.

I know goodness and grace and that my prayers are heard.

I know enough.

Because, I’m not yet whole and well, I’m not God.

I can just know a little.

If I use what I see as the answer to a long coddled question, I’ll forever be longing for earthly evidence, confirmation and rest.

When I understand I’m only supposed to see just a glimpse, the glimpse meant for me, and I trust that God alone needs to comprehend the rest

I won’t need the whole picture.

“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I’ll just need my view.

The view often found at the foot of the cross, the floor beside my bed.

Such A Faith

Abuse Survivor, contentment, courage, doubt, Faith, freedom, hope, memoir, Peace, Prayer, Redemption, rest, Trust, Vulnerability, waiting
Hope

My gaze focused on the tall bare branched tree, old and ash colored amongst the others still holding green.

It reminded me of hope and holding on, of being planted in just the place that the morning sun illuminates it. We walked together in rain jackets, pockets crammed with acorns and fallen leaves, feet bare because of spontaneity.

The rain sounds led to a prayer stance she copied. I smiled.

Peace. Sweet peace.

On the way to church on Sunday, a memory came. No reason, not a song or a scene that stirred up the scary long ago vivid memory.

Of a time marked by alone in a sort of wilderness, marked by events that changed the imprint of my brain. Changed and erased my sense of safety on most days.

I’m afraid altered workings of my brain forever.

I wonder.

Today, that fear of forever seems accurate. Powerful nightmares for no apparent reason woke me at 6:00 and then finished their working as I drifted in and out of their fearful overtaking until 8:00.

I journaled them, looking for the seeds that started the nighttime stories, the coal that fueled the frightening furnace.

I made sense of it in a way and then asked God if nightmares would always be my battle, if I’d ever be able to be effortlessly hopeful and free.

Matthew and Mark recorded two versions of the boy brought to the disciples and Jesus by his desperate father. I imagine the father was wondering if his son would ever be well, if he’d be overtaken by muteness and seizures forever.

Jesus answers questions firmly and with a tone of importance and perhaps, impatience with them all.

He tells the disciples your faith must be increased and he tells the father you must rid yourself of unbelief.

“And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭17:20‬ ‭KJV‬‬

“Jesus said to him, “What do you mean ‘if’? If you are able to believe, all things are possible to the believer.”
‭‭Mark‬ ‭9:23‬ ‭TPT‬‬

Then he tells them, you must have faith and most of all your prayer must be a committed, confident and consistent kind of prayer.

“And when he had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?” And he said to them, “This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.”
‭‭Mark‬ ‭9:28-29‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I gathered my journal and pens, other books and put them away for today. I sat with my coffee and my kitten.

Quietly, not at all condemning, the answer to whether my past trauma would always lead to debilitating nightmares and have power over me in my sleep came.

Yes, if you will hold fast to the faith seed I gave you, nurture it with prayer and commitment and allow the growth, you will be better, less held in the horror of past trauma.

I believe

If you will decide to believe. If you will have faith in your healing equal to the measure of me, your powerful Heavenly Father.

You will continue to be better.

The passage in Mark 9 has held my interest for a couple of months. I see the father, I see the disciples who’d just returned from the Mt. of Transfiguration with Jesus.

They’d been witness to God saying this is my Son.

“And a cloud overshadowed them, and a voice came out of the cloud, “This is my beloved Son; listen to him.” And suddenly, looking around, they no longer saw anyone with them but Jesus only.”
‭‭Mark‬ ‭9:7-8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Still, their faith was small, Jesus told them as they asked why they weren’t able to heal the boy.

“He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭17:20‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I find comfort in knowing belief wasn’t easy for them, having faith that made no sense must have also been a challenge.

I like the tone Jesus had with them…sort of you asked and I’m telling you. You need more faith, you need less unbelief, doubt and dread and more abandoned belief in me.

I sit now with the answer to the question I asked an hour ago, a note to God as a prayer.

Yes, you are well and you will be even more well as you ask for my help. Ask me to help your unbelief.

Is there something you’re sure you’ll never be fully free from? This side of heaven may always include our hardships, horrors and disabilities.

Ask God to bring you relief and to increase your faith, decrease your unbelief.

Perfection is not necessary in this pursuit. Recognition of its power and of your need are more important.

Turn your face towards heaven.

We were not made to carry burdens alone. Talk to God and a friend or counselor. Find someone who will believe alongside you.

Continue and believe.