Reminded of Rescue

courage, Faith, grace, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized

Advent Thoughts

The Advent image for today, the second day, is darker in color, a brilliantly deep red.

Smooth and symmetrical white lines evenly flowing through color and text,

“Deep calls to Deep.” evoking thoughts of wide, deep ocean.

The red, a deep wash. The hue representing our Savior, the color of love, blood-red.

Psalm 42 : a cry for rescue

Psalm 41 and 42 : a cry for rescue

 

I read Psalm 42 this morning.

A searching for peace,  questions of returning to a place of discouragement, of remembering God’s kindness; but, being unable to muffle the sounds of the tumultuous raging of life’s seas.

The waves and surging tides washing over again and again.

Life mirrors the Psalms.

We praise. We thank. We glorify and honor.

We cry out. We question. We long for understanding.

We remember the rescue only to question again the storms.

We search for redemption rather than remember we’re never without.

God’s love is unfailing. He beckons us, calls us, longs for us to experience the deep. Deeply loved, loving deeply.

We find ourselves lost in the deep to eventually find his love is deeper still.

We find ourselves in Him

When we come undone in His presence.

My prayer for Day 2 of Advent, my exercise in mindfulness and peace…

Cleanse me Lord, wash over me anew so that I can believe again, be reminded again…of your rescue.

You have preserved my life because I am innocent; You have brought me into Your presence forever.

Psalm 41: 12

 

Peacefully Believing

courage, Faith, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, wonder

 

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On Saturday, I opened a gift to our family.

26 beautiful little paintings to illicit thoughtful pause and intentional focus,  26 days before Christmas Eve, the season of Advent, time of preparing hearts.

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Not being quite sure of the proper activity, I’ve displayed them all and will, each day seek to be enlightened.

Prayerfully, quietly, peacefully.

Day 1,a buff colored tan with barely noticeable white lettering.

If peace were a color, it’d be white like this.

Barely there, almost translucent.

And white against a background of subtle doe colored buff would be contentment, acceptance, humble submission.

A color evoking a heart that has settled, found a resting place. A color that speaks of  believing what God promised would be.

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A heart like Mary’s, settled and waiting

unafraid of the scary or the spectacularly miraculous.

Because she believed what the Lord said would be accomplished.

So, I begin this journey of Advent, purposefully seeking to be at rest, to believe, to anticipate my heart’s welcome of the coming day.

To believe in the glorious

To believe like Mary

To be brave in a quiet way. Brave enough for feet to travel places that minds say are not possible.

Humbly content

Confidently at rest and accomplished through God’s hand on my life

Mostly though…

To be still in His presence and wait for Him to act. Psalm 46:10

 

 

Sparrows and other oddities

Faith, grace, rest, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

This morning was a chance to sleep a little later.

I sat with coffee and journal, the sun already warming the windows.

Deciding to walk with my daughter, morning instead of late afternoon, I saw sunlight through the pines, wrapping round them in loose embrace.

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Earlier this morning, at just the right time, I looked towards the wiry branch of barren crepe myrtle to see a lone cardinal amongst a group of sparrows.

Sparrows flew away quickly,  the cardinal too and then one tiny sparrow came back to rest, as if coming back for me.

I believe this to be true.

I’m convinced of it actually.

That my place on this earth is surrounded by beauty waiting to be noticed.

So, I notice.

Out walking, I thought of the poem about growing old, of all things purple.  Of wearing purple and living like brilliant purple.

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I turned to notice the  brightness in sky of clear blue today.

I thought of how odd I may seem to neighbors glancing through living room windows as I pause to capture skies and trees, out for a walk with my phone pointed towards the sky.

I thought, just a minute and then continued on.

I’m not bothered in the least that people might find me odd

My love of sparrows, skies, moons, and trees, the words to my rhyme.

When I am old, I shall notice sparrows and stop to collect blue feathers beside my feet.photo-23_kindlephoto-11317205

I shall marvel at cloudless blue sky and notice the budding of trees after coldest of days.

I shall spend mornings quiet, in quiet home, a satisfied nothingness of retreat.

I shall paint for hours, with abandon and careless grasp of time.

And I shall notice even more each minute.

In this world made to be noticed.

The heavens tell of the glory of God.  The skies display His marvelous craftsmanship.  Psalm 19:1

 

Heartlight

Faith, grace, praise, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

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Dear Child of God frustrated by life,

If you could ask yourself now, is this the person I want seen…to be seen as, to be joined together with?

And if you know, maybe not so much you at your best.

Just know it’s not God befuddled by you, it’s you conflicted over the place you’ve stopped by to mull your condition.

It’s not God telling you in an earth shaking reminder that this is not your place.

But, it’s a subtle heads up because people around you have noticed and are satisfied in your communion…drinking the wine of bitterness, anger, confusion and retributive response.

And they might be your people, so you share in their meal and the thick bread of satisfaction over like-minded condition is scarfed down with gluttonous abandon.

So, you join because you belong there, sharing in the feast of ugliness.

But, you leave the table feeling bloated by discussion.

Until, you get by yourself and rest in the quiet of whatever reminds of you of light.

Slight breeze, hot bath, quiet rain, crisp sheets, moonlight, or birdsong far off.

It’s a funny type odd thing to me.

The way I don’t always see when I can’t hear.

In the quiet of finally hearing and feeling, I begin to see.

When relieved of the noise that buffers, I’m reminded then that my heart has been listening patiently.

You’re reminded then gently without chastising or shameful correction of a flickering inside gone unflamed.

Ever burning, just  a little shadowed by angst.

You remember again.

It’s the light, your light and it hasn’t gone out.

It won’t.

Ever.

Get quiet now and shine

if only a tiny and nondescript tealight kind of shimmer

until you can shine again, a bright luminous glow.

Stay there, rest in the quiet flicker.

Make it your ambition to live a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, so that your daily life may show the world that you are a Christian.

I Thessalonians  4:11-12

Shine now, quiet child. You are loved.

Linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee along with other story tellers.

http://jenniferdukeslee.com/what-we-all-need-to-know-when-we-want-to-tellhisstory-badge-1give-up-tellhisstory/

 Jennifer Dukes Lee

prayer, life

Faith, Prayer, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

 

It occurred to me just now that I never prayed for Paris.

I posted an image and  typed a captioned prayer; but, I never prayed for Paris.

My words, a prayer for Paris.  But, I never prayed.

I captioned my prayer with a  photo for impact, shared it and got “likes” and “Amen’s”.

My prayer:

Dear Lord, comfort those who are afraid, terrorized and in shock. Strengthen us, equip us to stand courageously and turn our hearts towards you even more so as we remain faithful to you, our God. #prayforparis

FB_IMG_1447896513028 And I know without doubt my prayer was seen by God.

Was a sincere and imploring request for peace and mercy.

Still, I never prayed for Paris.

So, tonight, inundated by media, social and otherwise; I felt sad at the realization that I had joined the Pray for Paris trend, yet never thought to pray.

I wonder how many did. How many prayed?

Prayer, to me is surrender in a conversation with God.

Lately, I’ve been reminded that my prayer life, my understanding of prayer is not the same as others.

I’m not opposed to Mimosas; but, I am opposed to Prayer Breakfasts that are simply gatherings with champagne and orange juice held in the early morning hours.

I am thankful to be a part of meetings that still open in prayer;  but,  if the prayer is scripted and poetic, I will just pray silently in my seat.

For me,  prayer is more than ritual, it’s God waiting to hear what He already knows as we give it over to be unraveled, worked out… the expression of our hearts…hurt, joy, anger, distress and dilemma given over to God in childlike submission and acknowledgement of sovereign knowledge.

I see prayer as humble respect of authority.

I talk to God and I wait and then, I see.

I notice little things, answers found within smallest of occurrence in my day.

Something will happen and there it is, “Yes, God, you heard me”.

I thank God often, not as often as I should;  I ask for answers sometimes, other times I desperately plea for a sign of His favor.

I pray “Show me your glory.” or  “Bless my children today in unexpected ways.”

Everyday, a surrender.

Everyday, a chance to pray knowing God is in control.

I pray for my children and my husband daily.

Sometimes, unknown to them, at their bedside with knees down, open hands upward, my face cushioned by their covers.

I want them to sense God.

I ask God, simply and sincerely to put smiles on their faces.

Paris seemed so far away I guess, so I only thought of praying.

I joined thousands who said they were praying, that they would

Pray for Paris.

I will pray for Paris tonight and try to remember to again pray tomorrow.

For Paris

If I forget or get busy I am certain of tonight’s prayer being heard.

Because, tonight I will.

Pray for Paris

And my prayer will be heard.

 

 

 

Troubled Hearts and All

courage, Faith, grace, Prayer, Trust, Vulnerability, wonder
The day, already designed

The day, already designed

If it were possible for God to be perplexed by us

I wonder which would trouble Him more

Our hearts or our minds?

The sky was filtering early signs of sunlight finally, today.

Just before dawn I noticed and stopped to ponder my wavering faith.

To settle my thoughts on one word, All.

To trust in all my ways with all  my heart .

Proverbs 3:5-6

Proverbs 3:5-6

If God were troubled, annoyed, frustrated

Would my less than grateful heart be the cause?

My heart is confident and assured at times, but if reminded somehow of loss or regret I go right back to solemn and sullen. So quickly my mood can move from presence of good to  overshadowed by the past.

So, I’m wondering this morning what life would be like if God grew impatient and bewildered when we turn our hearts back to the shadows and we

get stuck there

unwilling to embrace goodness.

Would he be more confounded by darkened hearts or questioning minds?

Minds that doubt His design, losing sleep.

A prayer before sleep last night, a lament of surrender led me to wake earlier today.  Vacant thoughts slowly led to recall of a  “memory verse” that beckoned me forward.

Trust more, Lisa.

All your heart, not just a little.

All your ways, not just some.

And then in the quiet, a reply,  “It’s good that you’re back, Lisa.  Hope you stay a little longer this time.”

Grace, grace, God’s grace.

He’s a good, good Father.

Just a hint, rising up, peeking through. Waiting and believing with all my heart, all my mind.

Just a hint of light, peeking through. Waiting and believing with all my heart, all my mind.

Brown Dogs and Smiles

Children, Faith, family, Motherhood, Trust, Uncategorized, wonder

I’m a contradiction when it comes to surprises.  I love to be surprised.  Surprises, such thoughtful efforts in anticipation of a smile. I get all wrapped up in the moment of surprise, but obsess over the stuff to make it happen.

Sunday was a spontaneous road trip, a surprise I imagined being special.

Colt

Colt

Colt, “Colton Dixon”  to me, went to church.  His  bone and a tennis ball kept him company  during Sunday School then he tee-tee’d in the woods behind the cemetery and we were on our way.  ” you got this, Lisa…Good boy, Colt.”

Rainy day trip, traffic at a standstill for half an hour, too far to turn back, a restless lab and doubt bouncing around in my head in the car.

What a crazy idea. It’s gotta be raining there too. Who shows up with a dog, a tennis ball, bottled water and not much else to meet a young man in his white pants that can’t get dirty?

I parked at the Battery in Charleston. Warm breezes, sunny skies, sailboats and a grassy park filled with dogs. Colt, leapt from the car as I texted, “We’re here.” to my son’s girlfriend. She, shopping for a dress as a distraction said, “Headed that way.”

So, Colt and I stand, facing King Street to see them coming until I notice a group of people, one with a camera.

He, captivated by Colt waiting by my side, asks if he can take his picture. “Sure, I say.”  Small talk begins, they’re from Charlotte.

“I’m here to meet my son, it’s a surprise…thought I’d bring his dog…

hope it makes him smile…he should walk up any minute.”

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He did.  He was surprised. Raphael, the photographer who strolled through the park and noticed an excited mama and a  brown dog

Captured the smile.

And so this is how you take a chance on the weather

On spontaneity

on surprise.

And you get sunshine, memories and more surprised than ever imagined.

Raphael smiled, I hugged him.

He was surprised by my embrace.

And I said “God is so good!”

He smiled, nodding.DSC_0270-Edit

In Charlotte, NC and need a photographer? Check out Raphael Basisa at http://www.flawlesscapture.net/home.html

He’s got a big smile, big talent, spontaneity and heart…and now, Surpise! a dog named Colt on his website.

God is in the details.

Following Closely

courage, Faith, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

Having absolutely no natural sense of direction, I was unsure of the right road.

I almost stopped, rolled down my window and asked for help.

Instead, I sensed moving forward rather than turning would have me end up in the right place. photo-8_kindlephoto-6343999

And just ahead, yes, this is where you should be!

Other times, I’ve lost my way.

Second guessed a left or right turn, rationalized the direction that made sense, felt best or quicker.

Kept going because I’d gone too far, knowing with each step I was lost.

Roads continuing farther away than planned and  me thinking

       “Oh, just go a little farther, don’t turn back yet; just ahead you’ll see you’re where you should be.”

Told myself, stop doubting, worrying, you can trust yourself.

Yet, ending up lost and looking to be found.

I’m lost less often than in years past.

Thank goodness. Thank God.

I’ve learned that traveling alongside the one who directs me is easier than turning back.

Running back, mostly.

Reminded of my need to be guided, assisted, instructed, comforted by one who knows.

Reminded of times of clearest connections.

Of solace following desperate and heartbroken plea.

Remembering now of the best path,  sure although clearly unsure.

Trusting the directions, the One directing.

How can we understand the road we travel?  It is the Lord who directs our steps.   Proverbs 20: 24

‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.

Oh, for grace to  trust Him more.

 

Walk Easy Towards Good

courage, Faith, rest, Teaching, Trust, Vulnerability
Your hope will not be disappointed. Proverbs 23:18

Your hope will not be disappointed.
Proverbs 23:18

I only made it through 9 of the 31 days “of UNimpressive writing”.

 I neglected to announce to the hundreds of bloggers who all, in their own voices, committed to write for 31 days  on topics  of  “inspiration”.

I just stepped away from the challenge, no need to acknowledge a surrender or writer’s defeat.  I just decided to go at my own pace.

Less demand, more heart.

I continued to write, though hoping to avoid the pull of being “impressive”.

One lapse into writing to impress and one follower, kindly and honestly picked up on it.

His honesty is and was a gift.

Otherwise, on this day 26 of 31 I’ve been content in my writing. My words have continued to be honest, to attempt to point to God’s place with me now as opposed to where I’ve been, and to write bravely with confidence in such a way that someone may read and stop to think, just to think.

Either, can’t believe she had the courage or lack of discretion to write about that or I have felt the same way and I’m glad I’m not the only one.

My aim, the transparency of a writer’s heart exposed to the world like a house made of windows with no drapery.

There has been purpose for pain and for pleasure on my journey. I am led to share the stories reframing  of God’s hand, his constant redesign.

And so I walk slowly, writing along the way.

I heard the sweetest story yesterday about a baby excited to walk. The grandmother, my friend with an honest and earthen voice, told all of us ladies in the choir that “He’s learning to walk!”

We all sighed a collective and excited reply,  “Awww.”

The grandpa wanted to buy him shoes right away, make his legs good and strong, saying  ” We got to get him going, help him learn to run !”

To which grandma replied,  “Oh no, let’s take our time, let him walk.”

This morning I prayed a request to just handle whatever shows up in my life.

To respond and adjust in a way that demonstrates faith in God.

Consistency and persistence, growing more important than ever somehow.

Baby steps are good.

Slow moving, tenuous steps, cautious enough to anticipate.

Steady and strong enough to run.

So much talk I have of faith, trust, courage, honoring God and yet I get all twisted and tangled in why I stumbled back there, back then…

Or how I’m ever going to make it  to wherever and whenever.

I read this morning about a runner,  concerned over impending rain.

A brilliant writer whose images literally pull me to his words.

Words, so subtly strong, they sink down and ease me to a powerful place of insight, never jolted or pushed.

Offering a chance to understand, never a demand.

Running. With Rain.

I’d like to grow in this way. I’m humbled that he has read my words, has shared them.

Just keep moving forward, Lisa… keep moving through, noticing the beauty.

Keep writing, painting, loving, trusting, holding fast to faith; in life, in God.

Run when you can; but trust your walk,  pausing just long enough to grow strong.

Or waiting there, stepping forward only towards Good.

Linking up with others who write at Jennifer Dukes Lee, Tell His Story.  Read her important and wise advice on friendships here, http://jenniferdukeslee.com/the-five-friends-we-all-need-tellhisstory/

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Not so Far Ago

Children, Faith, family, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

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I looked at a photo from the beach today.

Austin grinning a big, carefree little boy smile and Heather, beautifully classic and on the cusp of womanhood.

God really blessed me, when he chose me for them.

Their smiles so close, I ‘m there now, right now…not at all so far ago.

Felt so close, not long ago at all.

As if I could turn my head to look back, allowing my feet to follow.

And be right there again on the beach, chasing birds.

This evening the clouds were heavy with grey white borders.

Like the remnants of an overnight fire.

Beautiful, soft and white against widespread blue.

I remembered mama when I turned to see the moon.

The moon, almost full. I felt her near.

I wondered then if the rain to come on Tuesday would obscure its fullness.  Would the sad, grey dark of rain clouds obscure its shine?

I walked on towards home  prolonging my return.

Stopped to look towards a yellow leafy tree and felt it then, the change in air, brushing my cheek as I paused.photo 1-8_kindlephoto-919356

A lightly cooler wind, as if God had suddenly, quietly moved up next to and beside me.

And I continued to think of my mama; sensing her now, again.

And turned to notice the changing clouds and continued towards home.

I noticed the red geraniums, a tradition for mama.

They’ve  lasted through summer and into fall, and so I stopped to prune the brown and brittle leaves.

Looked up and saw the moon again, had followed me home.

and I think of mama.

Not so far, not far at all.photo 3_kindlephoto-1004488

Long ago; but, not so far ago.

 

 

I could turn my head, or glance just slightly upward, so still and quiet in just a moment’s time, five years feeling like five minutes.

I know she’s not so far away.

The moon, the clouds, the sky…and the Lord.

Stilled and quieted myself like a small child is quiet with its mother,

like a small child is my soul within me.

Psalm 131:2