The following was to be the launch of my newsletter. I had a very good morning and I prayed and then tried. MailChimp, you are not a friend of mine.
But nothing’s wasted, right…other than my time.
There’s a lesson here and it keeps coming back to continue and believe.
Eventually, I know I shall see. Forward not behind, I’m moving forward.
Here you go…the newsletter that wasn’t meant to be.
“Finding Your Sky” is an expression of what, for me feels like believing in possibility and considering God’s view of us and His longing for us to live not based on our “befores”.
What if we focused on next steps rather than our stumbles from before?
Take just a second and ask yourself what you believe about redemption, about second chances, about freedom from shame over past mistakes.
Ask yourself if you believe in redemption for others but struggle to accept it consistently as mercy meant for you.
When good things seem to be coming your way only to go another do you decide “that’s okay, I wasn’t worthy anyway?”
I did this today.
Working on this very thing.
Trying is succeeding, I believe, when it comes to stepping towards new things.
I thought of all the people Jesus beckoned just to try, to pick up your mat, to step into the water, to not turn away ashamed when He knows all our sins by name. What if we held out our withered hands to touch his, to grow stronger and open to all the good He has waiting to give?
Do you have a spark inside that feel likes what I like to call a “treasure” but you keep it close and hidden because “what will happen if I try to be something, someone other than what everyone has always known?”
Each month, on a Sunday, I’ll send out this newsletter. I’ll ask God what it is He has shown me that someone else might need to know. I’ll maybe add some art work or inspiration you can download. There will be scripture to say so much better what I am trying to say.
My prayer is to help you believe in the beauty of redemption, to have you look up to the broad sky and to be open to new things and to continue in them, to continue and believe.
Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing: now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? Isaiah 43:18-19
This verse is marked by a sketch in the margin of my Bible.
The timing of it was beautiful, I had been talking with a therapist about my past trauma. Therapeutic insight and challenges were met by my response to her question one day,
“How will you know when it is time to stop remembering and move on from your trauma?”
Our sessions were typically visited upon by cardinals in some way and so I answered, “I’ll know when I find a redbird feather.” As crazy as that must have seemed, she accepted my remedy.
A few weeks later, I was gifted two feathers and then, in the most unexpected of places, my own backyard, I noticed one of my own.
What would prompt you to stop dwelling on your hurts and pain of before and to allow freedom to beckon you forward?
It’s safer to stay there, in the places we know, the people that we are known to be.
It’s gradual, this new way for me, this believing and being exhilaratingly hopeful of what might be.
Here’s the angel girl from my Bible, the one dressed in blue who is ready to believe. Maybe by March, mailing lists and newsletters, etc. will come together! My plan is to include a downloadable image, a pdf of a painting. I’ll keep trying.
“…let not your hearts faint, fear not, and do not tremble, neither be ye terrified because of them;”
Deuteronomy 20:3 KJV
Sometimes I think of Jesus being next to me there, wherever there might be.
I think of my hand held still by my side, Him holding it to keep me from being overly talkative, “talking too much with my hands”.
I think of my mornings when things make more sense and I sense His presence as if the chair next to me that rarely seats a soul, might be Him with me, He might be seated there.
I think of the way I believe in angels now. Until I began to paint them were so insignificant, were not reality for me.
The same God in that childhood church that confused me, made me believe, for me He just wasn’t there, is the one who is ecstatic now over me, ecstatic that I am understanding grace and mercy and that I believe!
Lord, what is my place in this, what is my role in this time, this question of staying in my place or climbing carefully to higher places knowing you will not let me fall?
And what should be my response if I am to put one foot in front of the other and then am unable to move on, overwhelmed by the fear of being farther than before?
Asking myself why on earth did I climb way up here, how embarrassing that I can’t move because I’m worried I’m going to fall.
Yesterday, I thought of grace. I saw it on another’s face and I felt it when I stood behind a podium and my voice, I sensed was making waves like the threat of undercurrent, a dangerously coming high tide.
I initially called it nerves.
I’d been sitting and waiting for my name to be called to stand and to speak, to make a plea for our cause.
I told myself on the drive over, this is important, this is so important and then decided on it being for less and yet, so much more.
Told myself, this is for the children.
The children labeled homeless.
The matter was important. I took my notes and laid them there, all numbered in sequence to refer to, only seven points.
My nerves, I decided were passion.
Although I did not realize it then.
I paid no attention to my notes.
I spoke from a place, it must have been trust. I do not know what the outcome will be. I find it so “un-me” when it comes to asking for money.
I do know I felt it.
I felt God’s grace.
A humble and quiet chubby girl, a poor child faced a room filled with philanthropist women.
And she spoke. She was able to stand and she spoke.
Grace doesn’t promise winning proposals or submissions.
It does say “Try, I will be with you.”
And it silences the voices that say you don’t belong.
Grace reminds of God’s favor while unconditionally insisting that some fears might not go away, but try…
Grace says try.
It is both necessary and unnecessary in that we must embrace it and surely we must remember it did not and does not have to be given.
It is not necessary.
But, it is good.
It is good that His grace always stays.
Imploring us to new places and making new spaces we will walk in and can be sure they are wide, so very wide it is impossible for us to fall!
But, to try.
Try.
Try because well, grace is waiting to remind us, try.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”
Proverbs 3:5 ESV
Last night I told myself I needed to get with the times. I need to be aware of how they are truly changing.
I am now that person who is panicked over what the world will be for my children’s children.
I was not this way before.
My mindset was one of oh, it was bad a long time ago too, people have always been violent, issues have been challenging and intense. Children can adjust as long as they have the firm and loving foundation of family and God.
But, I got all worked up over something I saw on the internet about three year olds. Close to midnight and I’m wanting to research it more, prepare myself to protect my grandchild.
The thing is, influence is either worrisome or wonderful. It is unwaveringly committed and steadfast in whatever the influencer believes.
Children, I am certain, will be influenced by the ways of those closest to them and by those who make a commitment to stay close to God.
Last week in church the preacher asked “Who in your life most influenced your faith by their life?”
There are a few people for a few different reasons.
But, I cannot deny my grandma.
She was quiet and private with her Bible.
She was unwavering in her commitments and traditions for us.
She was industrious.
She was gracious.
My name is written in red in her Bible, all of the other names are there too.
A few weeks ago, my “Aunt Boo” reminded me of God’s control and of being sure He is working all for good in my waiting to know.
She reminded me of the refrigerator magnets at my grandma’s that were letters spelling out, “God is busy.”
God is busy. Doris Evelyn Peacock
I told the story to my daughter.
She smiled. She remembered and I promptly purchased a bag of plastic magnets because every single day I too need to remember.
He’s got the whole world in His hands.
God is busy making ways for us.
God is busy dispelling myths about Him, replacing them with reminders of truths about Jesus.
About His love.
God is for us, not against us and He is busy being sure we believe.
Linking up with others on the prompt of “influence” here.
I’ve made some decisions and haven’t turned back, took some chances and opportunities recently, things that are teaching me that not everything comes by chance.
Fortune shines on others more than me and
Oh well, it wasn’t meant to be…these were the truths I believed.
Being a believer of a God who is sovereign, who is in control, led to my conclusion that only just enough good could be for me and that as a believer in sovereignty I must surely stay in my place, must not seek more than a little, must stay anchored by doubt and by fear of failure, not trying at all because of the unlikelihood of success.
I intentionally handicap myself.
I’m beginning to learn from my children, adults who have most likely seen this in me all along but never called me on it, accepted my ways for this long.
I wonder how it feels for a child to see a parent finally coming into their own?
Close to 60 years old and becoming strong?
I wonder if they realize in their own way, they helped me here.
To this season of wanting my legacy to be more than the timid and tentative mama, they may have always known. The one whose thoughts were always deep and bent towards worry.
Here now because I want their faith in God and His goodness to be strong.
Several months ago, I lost control.
Headed towards an important event, we were “T-boned” by a crossing car and my car jumped it seemed into the deep ditch and the front end was crushed by a timely positioned pine.
The Labrador, my husband and me. He jumped from the passenger side and I screamed loud and long. It was a very odd and out of control sounding cry. It was fear.
My daughter answered her phone.
“Mama, are you okay? You are okay. You are okay. Now, stop crying, just breathe and calm down.
You’re okay.
Calm down.”
She called her brother. He called me.
Same reaction, the same level tone in a child of mine’s adult voice. It was the same assurance, same calm.
Control what you can control. my son
Months have passed and changes have been made, changes are on the brink of being announced, career, home, and faith.
Changes are taking place.
Last night, I gave up on watching “Ozark”. Intrigued by the young actor with the authentic twang, I told myself to try it again, watch something that at least causes thought.
Fifteen minutes later, I switch to a Julia Roberts movie simply because she’s beautiful and required less attention.
Told my husband I couldn’t watch, don’t want to go to bed with those thoughts.
Still, I was startled awake before light and had to shake off a horrific dream. I knew it was partly me to blame. I watched the gory scene, heard the horrific words, saw the actor’s fear and grief and evil exchanged.
I went over my average daily screen time. I ate extra spicy food and then had red wine and then topped it off with chocolate milk, Advil and crunchy peanut butter on a spoon.
I recalled the nightmare to forget and move forward. Remembering times before. I had the damaged perception to believe that bad dreams were God sent messages to me.
Messages like you’re still that wild and mistake making girl, you’re still the too attractive and easy for your own good young woman, you’re still the poor girl in the ill-fitting tops, you’re still the fat middle schooler in your brother’s husky jeans.
You’re still the woman in the pew unwelcome by the women who are already there.
I don’t think nightmares are for anyone’s good. If there’s nothing else I can control today, I will control this new truth, this new optimistic conclusion.
And I will carry it into my day, I am no longer living the trauma victim way.
“Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?”
Genesis 16:13 NLT
Hagar was a slave girl who followed along with circumstances that caused her to carry a label we today would most likely call “whore”.
I can barely type the word. You see, I’ve been called that before.
In the nightmare last night, I revisited that woman of before; but, she ran, ran, ran ironically away from a church and through the streets to find herself alone in prayer, her face to the floor.
She found God there.
She rose and she walked freely, more freely than before.
What mindsets have held you captive?
You are never in God’s eyes the person you were before.
If you have experiences that lead to nightmares, don’t succumb to the belief that these bad dreams are your restitution for your bad before.
Use the sense that God gave you. Combine it with good and trustworthy therapy and then add in what you know. Know what God knows and can control and then assert yourself to control
What you can control.
Your “resurrection power”, your “freedom living on the inside”.
You called me from the grave by name You called me out of all my shame I see the old has passed away The new has come! Chris Tomlin
Be found in your wilderness, come forward to be seen and to be fully known.
My morning will not be boisterous with unwrapping, celebration won’t come until later.
Children are adults and we’re laid back and flexible, open and accepting. I’m anticipating the day, anticipating spirited appearances, nuanced moments of Jesus in it.
The angels told the shepherds not to be afraid when God’s glory illuminated the sky, an announcement of a Savior.
And Luke ends his beautifully researched compilation with the words of Jesus, again saying fear is something you should never feel.
Of what are you afraid today?
Why are you frightened?” he asked. “Why are your hearts filled with doubt? Luke 24:38 NLT
What are you doubting on Christmas morning?
Everything changes at Christmas except for Jesus.
Jesus stays the same, do not be afraid.
Merry Christmas to you.
Do new things, you can and you will, I’m remembering now my mama, she came to me last night in a dream.
Angelic, she was as she waited for me and without a word guided my continuing, gave approval of my plans.
Finally fading into the distance after nodding, smiling, giving her okay of who I am.
“And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.”
Luke 18:1 ESV
I woke to “bbbring” notification sound on my phone. Before I say more, who can remember mimicking your grandmother’s black rotary phone that sat on the little table in the den?
It rang and we’d all run to tell her, in harmony, the cousins coming down the hall, singing….” burring…bbbrrringg…bbbrrrinnnggg”
I digress.
But, I’m smiling.
I reach for my phone, Matt Steelman, the pastor of Newspring Church in Aiken is making an announcement. “Oh, and Lisa’s on, hey Lisa”😊
Our transitional shelter, Nurture Home is one of three recipients of their offering. A generous donation is headed our way.
By now you might be asking, what about Advent, what about the Book of Luke?
This is where I say, God’s word and God simply blow me away.
In chronological order, I open my Bible and I see Jesus teaching about persistence through a parable about a woman who refused to give up, she is known as the “persistent widow”.
“And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’”
Luke 18:3 ESV
Jesus told a parable that included a lesson about a woman who knew she deserved justice, knew she deserved better.
Like the widow, we motivate and empower women to seek better, to justify themselves despite what led to their homelessness.
Sometimes, we ourselves are called to model traits like persistence.
All nonprofits do year-end appeals. We frame our requests for money around a story of one we served or a certain type of plea.
This year, I decided to be clear.
I asked the readers of our letter in paper or on their screen to consider how our work might resonate with them. How they may relate.
Our year-end Giving Appeal is called We Need You Now.
MHA Aiken County, nor any of our programs are “faith based”, except for the way I try to persist every day in bringing my faith to work with me.
Thank you for allowing me to talk about work, it seemed a waste to waste a true story of not losing hope to maybe peak your interest about the woman who persisted in the Book of Luke.
The woman like me, the person like you, to whom Jesus is saying:
Do not lose heart. Pray and do not lose heart.
If you’re looking to make Christmas even more joyful, more connected with Christ and others or if you’re just curious about this church with a cool and kind pastor and congregation who love people and love Jesus, visit Newspring in Aiken or just a church somewhere.
Many times Jesus spoke in a way that was so matter of fact, so very direct.
“The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” And the Lord said,
If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. Luke 17:5-6 ESV
I imagine them expecting some wisdom more than his reply of it’s up to you to embrace this powerful source, this thing you are to hold as evidence of me in you.
This mystery of a strength that no one can see, only can be known.
Jesus reminds me today as I read Luke’s recording of His words.
You know when your faith is waning, you know how to again believe.
You know you only need to begin, begin like tiny seed no one else can see; yet, can be fully and faithfully sort of secretively known.
It’s a thing between you and He.
So cup your little imaginary seed in the palm of your hand, Lisa Anne and then plant it on the blank canvases, open spaces and empty pages waiting for you to go and grow.
Maybe moving, uprooting, or seeing unusual or unexpected shooting ups of new living and new life.
Begin with your little seed.
Begin again to grow, not to chase, only go in the way you feel the sway of His answer to your longing, your prayer.
Lord, tell me what to say. Tell me what to create.
Begin because you know you are able and that you were made me to be capable.
You know that we can, God, it’s just we are not consistently obedient.
We are not always willing.
Like the apostles asked you to do it, to increase their faith, we do the same.
We must be willing to believe and begin and then to see the evidence of gifts we doubted we’d ever see.
We must wait for it, anticipate your glory!
Luke opened Chapter 17 with a conversation about temptations toward sin. Jesus told the disciples that temptation is a sure thing. He told them to be careful that their lives didn’t lead others to sin.
Then He healed ten lepers and only one came back to give praise, to thank God for the healing.
In response to the question about when and how they would see God’s kingdom, Jesus cautioned them all in their trying to figure it out, told them to spend less effort on being informed of the mystery and more on being prepared for it.
For not all will see the Kingdom, only those who follow, leave behind their questions and simply continue on, those who don’t turn back to what they left behind, their lives before.
“Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it.”
Luke 17:33 ESV
Choose to stay on your different way.
Be the one who holds tight to the faith like tiny seed.
Be the one who chooses moderation over selfish satiation. Be the one who turns back from yet again grace to honor the one who makes hope and healing.
Be the one who surrenders and believes God created you for more and that more starts often with the tiniest of seeds.
Be the one who knows it is okay to ask for help. To sit without words as the warmth of a tear puddles in your eye’s corner, to say, I am here again, God. I can’t find you nor can I find the words.
Change me from the inside, so that my outside is the one you know I was created to be.
Blank slates every morning, clean canvases waiting to bring you glory, Lord, let it be.
Let it be you through me.
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
The 16th chapter of Luke’s book is not so gentle a read. It ends with Jesus telling a rich man who refused God that there’d be no need in a miraculous sighting sent to warn his family of Hell. Jesus tells the regretful rich man, they didn’t believe in Moses, it’s likely they may never believe.
“He said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead.”
Luke 16:31 ESV
I stood holding hands with family yesterday and prayed. I was asked by my cousin to pray.
It felt a little awkward, family can be that way; but, also a sweet answer because I’d actually thought about it, thought about it on the drive to the gathering, what would I pray if I were to bless the food, to pray?
I consider this God. I consider the way this all fell into place truly sweet, a God thing.
I thanked the Lord for the tradition of our get together, for the good things he’s brought us over the past year, the good things he has brought us to and through, and for the food.
As we released our hands, a circle so wide it covered four rooms, intersected by a kitchen and a hall, everyone was quiet and then our Georgia Christmas meal began.
This morning, I’m remembering intercessory prayer. I’m thinking with certainty how God hears our prayers and how I most likely won’t know how my words offered up a little awkwardly will impact my family members.
Somehow and somewhere, they will.
God hears us when we say them, He always hears our prayers.
The rich man lost his opportunity. He ignored the needs of a poor man who inherited heaven as he focused on his wealth.
“And at his gate was laid a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who desired to be fed with what fell from the rich man’s table. Moreover, even the dogs came and licked his sores. The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried, and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side.
But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that you in your lifetime received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner bad things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in anguish.”
Luke 16:20-23, 25 ESV
I sat last night making lists and making plans, most of them revolving around money and the assurance over the lack of enough of it.
I thought of how I love giving, love listening and then providing, how I more than anything love giving what is perceived as a “way too generous” surprise.
I’ll review my list today, I’ll squeeze in a shopping trip this week, wrap some new boxes and rearrange them under our tree.
I’m hoping my gifts to my family will be an evidence of my faith, of my peace, of my hope and my finally really believing in mercy and grace.
Talking less about it, acting it out more.
As I sit in my spot, I’m remembering my family, the love, laughter, good fortune and misfortune in the room.
Family can be tough. Everybody knows. All coming from the same people and place, all knowing all our stuff and still, loving one another, even if skeptical over the bumps in our roads and how still, we grow.
I’m thankful for them. I believe I told Him and them so.
Thank you, God, that we are all here.
This year, my hope, my purpose is that my family sees more clearly, that they see me being who I say that I am.
That they see, Jesus.
That they see “why I believe”.
“For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”
we run away from our discomfort... but it doesn't leave us. to heal we need to turn around and face it, experience it and once we truly do we are out of it. We heal and we grow.
2 Timothy 1:7-8 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. This blog is about my Christian walk. Join me for the adventure.
Lisa Anne Tindal 