Author: Lisa Anne Tindal

Understood 

bravery, courage, Faith, Prayer, rest, Trust, Vulnerability, wonder

I unhooked the clasp on his collar, letting go the tension of my command. 

The sky cloudless, air thick and lethargic, summer feeling too long already. 

I put no pressure on his wandering.

Unleashed the leash and let the high grass rub his belly, swoosh, swoosh, swooosh. 


Then he meandered around, circled back when I called “Hey!”

I’d had things on my mind an hour before. Running errands, traffic light, I look up to notice blankness of the face in the rear, then wait for the change. 

Tapped lightly on the knob to shut out the noise of radio and decided to pray. 

Prayed for my friend again. She wants the cancer in her brother not to have spread. She says he just decided he needed more time, more time to make up for the time he had not honored God. 

So, I prayed and said to no one around

“I understand.”

Then prayed for another heavy hearted for no certain reason, prayed somehow they’d know their value, know they’re loved and that whatever heavy weighted thoughts and concerns had them bent down low, they’d see relief and they’d see themselves as good despite whatever their own voice has been saying. 

Then, again…out loud for no one to hear, I added “because, I understand.”

I understand. 

So, I allowed myself a moment as I drove, it happened, just a hint of an invitation to cry.

Slightly moist little place on my cheek, I tap lightly with the tip of index finger and touch there, the place where understanding puddled up. 

Then decided once home, it’s not a workout I need, it’s a walk with Colt. 

So, I guess that’s why we walked the long way ’round, the way with no bounds, the overgrown places, open fields and no expectation or rule. 

I waited. I let him be

Understood. 

And I believe, me too. 

Freedom and Light

bravery, courage, Faith, family, grace, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

I woke with no set agenda and allowed myself the luxury of slowly becoming wide awake. 

I’m thinking a new thing today, I keep singin’ “Free your mind and the rest will follow…”

Because, yesterday a change began to be considered. I’d taken a step, asked for feedback, been honest over my angst. 

Been brave about my being afraid. 

I’m remembering this morning, the power of changes I can make, the power of asking God to help me; but, me being able to move towards the bend in the road. 

Ever the one seeking approval, yearning for affirmation, I had become overwhelmed by advisors, critical thinkers, step takers and this is how, let me show you contacts! 

I told the consultant I was overwhelmed by measuring up, by following recommendations and by being good enough in the eyes of others. 

I took a step. I discerned who to believe. Made perfect sense, she knew a little of me, why not show her more? 

I was honest. She listened and responded with a tangible and godly plan: 

i) Has become a little overwhelmed by the whole process of writing and the whole process(1) Too many voices clamoring into her head.
(2) A lot of peer pressure
(a) A lot of other good writers out there
(3) SUGGESTION: Turn off the other voices (unsubscribe, choose not to engage in self-imposed expectations) and just write the manuscript.
ii) Doubting God’s will
(1) Does not want to glorify herself
(2) Does not want to shed light on the trauma
(a) There are some dark times she had forgotten
(b) Does not want to bash
(c) Does not want to remind her family of the hurt
iii) SUGGESTION: Just Write. Do not let the fear of saying too much keep you from writing. Everything can be edited.

So, this morning I stopped counting at 30, the choice to unsubscribe to all of my advisors on writing. I’ve honed it down to five. 

I’ll follow the advice of Stephanie Haynes 

http://www.stephaniehaynes.net/
(oh, I believe it’s a God thing, her name, her frame, her role) and I’ll become independent in my writing. I’ll not hold back. I’ll pour out my heart with the goal of rough draft by July of 2018. 

I reminded myself today of the meaning of independence, of freedom; but, most fitting, I believe is autonomy: the freedom from external control. 



This is where I am this morning, I’m shutting out the voices of too many well meaning and informed advisors and I’m making room to hear my own voice more clearly, more freely, more unafraid. 

More ready to shine my light unhindered by comparison or critique. 

“”You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:14-16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Life and Peace

bravery, Faith, grace, mercy, Prayer, rest, Salvation, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

The spongy little leaves keep popping out, the ones near the soil turning darker, even falling away. I positioned my mama’s broken pot in the direction of my gaze.

When I’m in between understanding and figuring out, I look over and let the void of not always knowing cause me to stop my circling back to self-condemnation.

I don’t understand words like “righteous” fully; I just know I’m not supposed to be self-righteous.

And I don’t really feel good enough to be called pure, I’m more prone to remembering my sins.

Yesterday, I had a chance to sit with someone and talk about being “righteous”.

We talked of tainted pasts and ideas about ourselves shouted loudly from the mouths of others.

I had my Bible and she asked to hold it.

Her hands reached softly, she opened and turned the thin pages with a sweet respect and she noticed the margins, the place where I let my mind unravel, the place where it’s clear I believe.

Her hands moved sweetly over the pages, she sighed “oh” or “so beautiful”, the sketches and my scribbling.

It was a quiet time, unrushed, a beautiful exchange.

Is there need for any more than that?

Than more of moments like these, when I listen to the Spirit nudging me to do something unexpected, to sit with another and talk about my long and winding path to believing I am loved by God?

To do so without long discussion, debate or standing up high on my pedestal to say “this is how it’s done! “?

Because, if I’m honest I’m still learning to rest there myself, believing unwavered.

The little succulents in the broken pot are a miracle really. Finicky little species of plant, they’re best left untended.

Too much water, they drown. Too much shade, they wither. Too much sun, or not warmth from sun in just the right time, the thick leaves fall from the stem that is meant to nourish.

I started with two plants; now, there are five. My mama’s broken pot with birdnest and a feather, now like a shady forest.

The petals that broke away finding soil again, growing on their own amongst the others.

This morning, I went back to questioning my righteousness, unable to fathom ever calling myself pure or noble or upright.

Those labels make no sense to me, I am pondering. I am searching for understanding and I am praying.

Dear Lord,

Enlighten me.

Make things clear for me. Be near so that I will know the nearness of you and

I’ll not need to look for you in the

Measurement of me.

Amen.

Then I turned to Romans, because my read through the Bible guide directed me there, no other reason other than I tend to follow rules.

I saw the margin, recognized my hand there:

The words I’d written “life and peace” and the underlined verses that told me how and why.

“For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

To rely on me for my growth, for where I may be planted is futile. To be so very close to God, it’s oh, so mysteriously unfathomable at times, is really not so complex at all.

Grow where He has me, where he plants me, gives opportunity to bloom again after growing brittle or withered, weary.

To live by the Spirit is to absorb His word and to be less driven towards my part in this life lived by faith,more willing and surrendered to allow His Spirit to be my guide.

Guiding me to places like my Bible in the lap of another and a quiet conversation about why I believe in Jesus.

Not because of the scary preacher who called me “Sinner” but, because of a gentler Spirit, the Holy One.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:37-39

linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee today at Tell His Story. Read this really beautiful piece about sitting alongside others and being kind: http://jenniferdukeslee.com/best-thing-can-4th-july/

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Reason To Believe

bravery, Faith, grace, mercy, praise, Prayer, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

“Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” ‭‭John‬ ‭20:29‬ ‭

Something about the words of Thomas caused me to stay there. I kept my Bible open, read and paused, then read again. 

I underlined the words of Thomas saying he’d never believe. And the words of Jesus, saying “Peace be with you”.

I felt my throat tighten, rested my hand on my heart and contemplated life without believing, without His peace being with me. 

I considered those who don’t believe or believe differently and I thought of how rarely I share my reasons for believing. 

Worried over not being theological enough, not being skilled at debating, it’s tough to explain such a significant relationship, one of believing someone and some things I’ve yet to see. 

You have to see for yourself, these things we’re incapable of seeing. 

My faith, my believing is because of answered prayers, it’s splendidly simple. 

Big challenges, little shows of His glory, sweet gifts, these are the answers I’ve known. 

So amazing, I liken it to being close enough to touch the scars, the places where he bled. 

Prayers and blessings and peace,

Reasons I believe.

Hope and Hard Truth

courage, Faith, family, Teaching, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

I shook my finger at someone today. I saw myself, a visual that made me pause.

I assure you this is not my confident approach. I noticed my movement, wished my hands had kept still.

Talking with my hands, reiterated my stance with finger pointing then for extra effect bouncing, a strong and affirmative nod.

My words were needed; they were justified.

Oh, the hard things, the tough stuff, the role of pointing out and redirecting the wrong.

I walked away, hands tied, heart uncertain.

How is it I’m looking all around, walking heavy, quick steps away from the issue, then I catch a glimpse and I bend to see more closely?

How it is, is God.

I consider it a gift, a feather found as I thought of the burden of being the one whose role requires speaking hard truth.

And following through.

Like a parent who only shows up when things get out of hand, I’m the one who comes in and takes charge, shouts hard truths to those who’ve never been told.

Let it go as long as I can then second, third, fourth, and fifth guess my reaction, a decision must be made.

This is the work of helping another; yet, knowing when perhaps you’ve helped too much.

The dirty little secret of the “helping” profession. Hurt people hurt people. People who’ve gone without will take all they are able, as much as you will give.

So, I walk with music after work, seeking a hint of the lengthy sabbatical I’ve been hinting at pursuing.

It’s evening. I’ve handled conflict. I’ve yawned through meetings and been frustrated by responses of others.

I walk. I run, this evening.  I hear a song saying,

“Whatever’s in front of me help me to sing hallelujah!”

And I see hope,  one bird up high flying alone against thick, thick sky.

I understand, the one left to stand alone, to stand up, stand their ground.


Leadership is lonely sometimes.

Left to fly alone.

To lay the foundation, give directions for growth, do our best to cultivate what’s not recognized as a seed that will grow if watered consistently with consistent expectations.

Sometimes I see the growth, others I only get to imagine what might eventually bloom.

And still others stay the same, taking longer to grow and I’m left to wonder if the breaking through ground happened ever.

I choose to believe, there was good in the soil we watered at the base of their feet, the place of hitting bottom, finding ways to rise anew.

I will always choose to believe, and always I err on the side of hope.

Hopeful every morning that I am a compassionate one holding accountable those whom God has placed within the reach of my helping hands.

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3:22-23‬ ‭ESV‬‬

So, tomorrow I’ll make decisions, I’ll hold accountable someone needing to be held accountable with more compassion than today,  I pray.

Better today, more uplifted and “standing tall on the inside”, thanks to Jennifer Dukes Lee. Read her beautiful story about her father’s wisdom and bravery here: http://jenniferdukeslee.com/youre-feeling-weak-defeated-try/

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The Place of Grace

bravery, courage, Faith, grace, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

“Coastal” 

I get lost here.

Little corner room, back of the house, I’ve not called it “studio”.

Most likely won’t ever. 

No prompting or edit,  just doing and done. I begin, am absorbed and oblivious and I continue. 

I finish, am uplifted, content. 

Emptying of mind, freeing up of space cluttered by my strict measure of certain or not so.

My fingers in the paint, open tubes and little jars, chalky smooth or shiny pastel.

Scattered about my desk, dark wood and spackled color. 

Sit, stand, walk away and come back.

It’s a joyous abandonment.

The rare place I give myself grace. 

No restraints, time or talent up for dispute. 

Music in the corner slinkin’ out into the room and someone might peek in to say hello or goodbye, but only for a minute.

My sacred spot, they’re careful in their kind intrusion.

My solace, unruffled by my perception of demand.

I coat the canvas in neutral hue, wait patiently and decide. 

Time to understand, to listen in the quiet enough to hear. 

Place that feels so true I wonder if there’s need of disclaimer:

No worries, I’m fine, just talking to myself and speaking real clear and true.  Look away if you might be so moved or unmoved by “too much Lisa”. 

Sometimes, I know, my words seem broken. The times I remember grace, abandon the yearn for glory. The grace too true not to be brave. 

Then, I paint and again, I can pray the prayer of surrender…to truly, truly finally grasp what it means to let go, let be, let being.

Let my words and my story grow from an abandoned mind, my words flow like color.

A shadow here, bright light there, layers thick and tactile, real because of grace… “The Colors of my Bible”. 

I understand now, the reason time passes me by, I dip my feet in the pool of contentment and then I rest in the place where I go to paint. 

The place that is easy, the grace given me by me, my place of grace. 

Reminding me of grace, amazing it is, that place I remember grace.

“For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.”

‭‭John‬ ‭1:16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

 Profit and Loss

courage, Faith, grace, grief, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder


I’ve been told I should paint

something 

other than 

angels. 

And so, I consider the landscape. I think

in terms of abstraction. Thick paints, maybe floral; perhaps, a rooster or crow.

Then, someone who sat with her daddy today

until the moment he became breathless.

She messaged me to say,  “I look at your angels and feel at peace.”

And I want to say, me too. 

But, that feels self-serving. I don’t. 

Instead, I say “I am so very sorry for your loss.”

 because

I remember

and I am. 

Steady Now

bravery, courage, Faith, mercy, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

My little Gideon

I almost slipped. The floor causing squeaky basketball sounds, “shuffle, shuffle…squat, shuffle, shuffle, squat!”

My right foot almost folded. I paused in the repetition, considered faking injury, dropping out. 

Began again though, doing this push me farther than before thing. 

Getting stronger, not smaller, I’m changing me for the better. 

Inside too, I woke with this song this morning, “O’ Come to the altar…O’ what a Savior…hallelujah !”

Setting the tone, making steady the way I’m walking today. I pray and I say thank you for teaching me to persist. 

I say thank you for fresh perspective, music in my ear and a tiny Bible close to my work with words that my eyes land upon, saying “I’ve got you…you got this!”

A new idea, I’m excited, plans to prosper them! 

Plans, Passages, Prospering

Keep me steady now, Lord.  Day by day, dear Lord I pray. 

Music, scripture, prayer and persistence.

Steady now. 


Linking up with a community of ideas and grace and writing for Five Minute Friday! 

Visit here:  FMF 

Like the Mornin’

courage, Faith, grace, mercy, praise, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

I’m gonna do my very best.

I declare. I am. 

Decided, just now, to live more like the morning.

Easy like Sunday or Wednesday or Tuesday,

Mornin’.

Try to live all day “easy peasy” like the thin lines on the blinds becoming silvery gray, drawing me to wake and early, saying let’s go and see.

Morning, takin’  it easy on me.

Time for anticipating, of dark coffee, pink pencil and the corner sofa spot where the tall thin lamp shines down in a quiet welcome, come.

I’m gonna live like morning all day if I can.

To be less frustrated by the unexpected unfriendliness of the day, I’ll turn back to my morning page reread and I’ll decide,

Okay, show me again. I know I read it in your book, underlined, recorded and thought for more than a second…this is God and this is good. This is for me.

No more gettin’ sidetracked by demands and details, brain overloaded from multiple tasks.

I’ve decided to try, too good not to, just try to break the habit of thinkin’ dread and despair and doubt. The things that come out most every middle of the day, like a prisoner breaking out, they’re gonna make their mischief, stir up stuff.

I’m gonna try, here and ready to begin yet again to be unswayed by patterns or people or less than promising plans.

Give me back my morning, no kidding.

I will surely thank me.

If I can live like morning for just a little bit longer like the summer sunrise lingers lazily deciding,  I’m staying up late, I’d surely be more contented come the night.

I’d stretch out my morning mind and soul, establish new ways.

I’m gonna live like the morning, savor it like creamy brown coffee, the color of thick chocolate shake.

I’m gonna cup my cup of morning and do better, I decide.

Less straining towards back home to sigh and declare oh, another day, another day…

Live easy like the mornin’,  yes, so much less me, so much more Him.

“Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭143:8‬ ‭ESV‬‬ 

Discovering this Thursday morning, a beautiful and oh, so timely post about joy and suffering at quietlyreminded.com 

What a pretty place to visit, art and words and grace and truth! 

 
Linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee as she writes about family.

http://jenniferdukeslee.com/just-needed-someone-love-god-made-family/

Oh, My, Goodness and Thank You Wow

Uncategorized, wonder

What does one say when a respected blogger, ever thought provoking in his content, and simply breathtaking in his visuals decides to share your words? 
It’s been a long day | Live & Learn

It’s been a long day

You say “Oh, My, Goodness!” and then since he’s a New Yorker, you explain to him that oh my goodness means wow, thank you, wow! And you hope he smiles to have been schooled in all things Southern. 
Again, I am thankful and amazed of the ways God continues to “enlarge my borders”.