I can’t say why but I was driving home from the country and I began thinking about the Woman at the Well and how she likely led a life met by scorn and then her story led to changed lives in others.

As I often do, I began to use my imagination to wonder about parts of her story unrecorded. Specifically, how was her relationship with other women?

Was she befriended now by them?

Was their befriending sincere?

Lately, I’ve been aching to talk to my mama.

About family, about faith.

Hers.

A thought came as I watched a trio of women, “I don’t think I’ll ever be like them.” 

Their voices were strong. Their posture at ease. They were clothed confidently in garments that seemed to be reflective of their personalities. 

I wondered, “Could it ever be that true for me, as true as it seems for them?”

Will I always feel like I’m getting it all wrong or worse, maybe I’m not one of those women who is capable of such confidence and joy. 

This is the kind of blog post that’ll likely get “care and concern” emojis. Truth is, it’s just me being honest and using this space for expression. 😊

I’ve been thinking about my mama, my aunt, and my grandmother. Neither of these strong women are/were “church ladies”. Maybe they tried and maybe tried again and yet, church attendance and gatherings with other women in the church was not “for them”. 

I have my theories as to why although this was never a conversation that occurred. 

Things about them, their spouses, their challenges, their mistakes and their losses likely made them very interesting for others whose curiosity and criticism wasn’t so effectively offered as gentle concern.

Instead, judgment or worse, disinterest. 

Gossip.

Maybe their “stories” were too well known. 

I have this longing for the accounts of certain women in the Bible to be explained in greater detail than they are. Their before and after stories from their perspectives not just the writer of the encounter. In this case, John. 

“Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?”
‭‭John‬ ‭4‬:‭29‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I wonder what the woman from Samaria, the one at the well seeking water in the middle of the day, thought of the “church ladies” of her day. Was the man she was with who was not her husband married to one of them? 

See how intriguing this is? 

Is this why she went to draw water when no one else ventured out in the heat, the middle of the day? 

Was being a “church lady” ever something she aspired to be? 

What got her sidetracked into seeking or being caught up in numerous (likely unhealthy) relationships with men? 

She’d learned to avoid the glares of the townspeople because of judgment. Accurate, but hurtful. 

Had she learned to keep her side of the story to herself? Was it just “too much” for others to hear? 

She had no hesitation when she told the disciples and then went into town and told every single person she met, that she’d met Jesus.

And she didn’t have to tell him all the sad and sordid details of her story. 

He already knew them. What a strange relief that must’ve been. She met someone who knew everything and still wanted to be kind and engaging without selfish intent. 

Her encounter was so intense that she no longer worried who knew or would know every twist and turn and downward spiral her choices had marked her by. 

She no longer worried if she “was just too much” for some people because she couldn’t keep the “much” of her experience to herself. 

I’d love to time travel and walk alongside this woman. I’d love to ask her if there were obstacles. I’d love to know how she was welcomed by the women, the “church ladies”. 

Was she too beautifully restored to let anything else matter? I think so. 

She became an evangelist and later a martyr. 

If there were battles over what others recalled of her story of before, she must’ve just stepped steadily forward, strengthened by her circle of those made steady because of her. I wonder if there was a whole sort of “club of women with many men” that formed because of her testimony. 

And as she remembered that day she left her empty water jug at the well, she helped others step more steadily into faith. 

Remembering that all that was needed was to be seen fully, known completely and loved. 

There’s something about that private source of hope, faith and love that’s not often in need of being displayed. 

I believe this is the truth for the women in my life, the “unchurched” ones. It was a secret flow, a source of strength in them that made certain customs seem less ones of faith and more of requirement to be displayed.

I’m finding myself more and more of this type woman of faith. It’s leading to quiet questions and I believe, in time a peaceful clarity. 

I’m beginning to believe I’m meant just to be a quiet woman of strength, strengthening others as they see something of themselves in me.

I’m thinking the woman at the well helped many women in seeing themselves more loved and accepted, more free.

Is there a woman in the Bible you’d love to know personally?

Too many to list for me, these woman of faith compel me curiously.