“Let them come to me for refuge; let them make peace with me, yes…”
Isaiah 27:5 NIV
This morning I wrote three pages worth of notes without lifting my pen. This practice, “morning pages” is something I’d heard about and thought maybe.
I am often stubborn as a student, slow to be trained by the wisdom of others.
I’m learning.
Yesterday, the entire third page chronicled grace, the preceding two were questions of self and God.
Today, I expressed my confusion over my cat, “Georgia” suddenly and frantically obsessed with the water in my painting jars.
I tracked her movement as my pen moved swiftly blue. Committed to this morning pages practice, day two, I found a lightness in my thinking, a sweetness in allowing the freedom to write about my “just fine Georgia” cat.
She’s frantic and sneaky, moaning in her meowing to get my attention. I wonder if she knocked over the jar on my desk and drank the blue muddied water.
I continued to examine the meaning behind her behavior and transitioned to make it relatable to mine.
Unsettled seeking it seems we have in common. We have a frantic inquisitive nature and little patience with lingering question, longing for fulfillment.
I’d become apathetic about writing. Ambivalent, not just yet because I’ve not lost my love for creativity, just wondering if I’m still able.
Page three of three today asked God about delay, delay in the question I keep asking that remains unanswered.
The more I asked the question in all sorts of way, I began to feel attended to, I began to be okay with not yet knowing, instead continuing while waiting.
I settled down and ended page three wishing there were space for more.
Resting.
Pages lined with swirly words and Georgia settles. Help me to settle, God. Resting. Confident in your ability meeting my willingness.
Day 2, morning pages complete. Writing more like process than performance.
I’m learning.
Lisa Anne Tindal 
Waiting has been on my heart so much lately. Thank you for being God’s affirmation. I think we can apply this not just to writing but our life and faith journeys too:
“Writing more like process than performance.”
God’s writing His story through us and continually reminding us that each page matters and that there is no wholeness without a brokenness first being uncovered piece by piece by piece for healing. Sanctification is a painful but freeing journey, isn’t it? Fits with what you shared about King David too – we are always learning and growing, as God keeps taking us into new territory (filling blank pages with His story and new characters and new weavings of characters).
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Anna, your gift is wisdom. I’m continuously touched by your writing paired with wisdom from within you, Jesus in you. You encourage me more than I can express.
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As do you, me, Lisa. God’s weavings are so precious. Each time there’s something you share that is like God saying to me: “see, Anna, I see you and I am with you.” His unity in Spirit is so precious.
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Love you.
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He’s asking me to “pay attention” in this waiting and to join Him in the weaving – to let Him pray through me and show me what is going to happen (as He promises us He will do in the Holy Spirit being given to us to lead us into all the truth there is and to show us what is going to happen). It is changing things for me in that this waiting is becoming an active thing: weaving with Him in prayer and in doing and saying things He prompts me to. It’s lifting the weight of pain each time to help me see what He sees: so things that look hopeless, suddenly are filled with hope, as I see what HE’s up to.
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