Moon and Memory

Abuse Survivor, bravery, contentment, courage, Faith, grace, memoir, Peace, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, writing

I walked outside last night to find the moon after reading how another one anticipated it and well, blows my mind.

The moon was nowhere to be found by him.

Not here.

I’m still confused over this.

How his sky had no moon and my sky’s moon was so grand, so bold.

Months ago someone I care about was struggling.

We talked on the phone. I walked outside knowing our talk will be long.

The moon was pretty then.

I told her to look up and find it, I’m seeing the moon with you.

All will become clear.

In the cold cold of a morning causing South Carolinians to freak slightly out, I’m up early and the moon has shifted, still hanging out over my house.

Daylight comes and I drive to my granddaughter’s home, escorted by the big moon to my left the whole way out on the curvy stretch, country road.

I thought of God again.

Thought of my halfhearted morning devotion and the hurry hurry hurry of me.

Comfort, it was to see.

To know.

Here I am God and there, there, here you are.

“When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭8:3-4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Knowing, seeing, staying.

The moon is enormous tonight and situated in the sky above our yard.

I walk the puppy to the back and notice the slap of the air so cold I brace as if I might fall.

Then I pause, take a deep breath and a deep breath, stand still and pause and I feel it.

The deja vu.

A night I don’t remember so clearly, only the feel.

No idea exactly when, I’m rushing home, get the presents together, quiet stepping down the hall, babies asleep, grab the bags marked stockings.

Yes, the air tonight, the moon lighting up the icy ground, the cold on my cheeks.

Oh, tonight feels like Christmas.


Thank you, God, for that.

And for your mindfulness of me.

And the moon.

Thank you for the moon.