All it took was to see the moon with the fuzzy rim.
Someone said it means something after someone dies, if the moon has a ring.
I saw it back then and it appeared again.
That sight making me sure it was the moon that had seen me.
Like she’d been watching me, seeing me unravel and waiting to intervene, real easy, never stomping in to have her say.
Troubles have been coming to the surface and strong last week, really the last few months began to not feel strong at all.
Like crinkly brown leaves raked away to reveal tiny blades lime green of grass, you’ve got to clear away the dead to bring the live, the life you’ve hinted at but never quite felt it yours.
I played a game today suggested by a friend, mindful of my triggers,
I said “Hello, shame” and later “Hello, fear.”
Finally, “Hello, fat girl.”
Followed by laughter and working harder and seeing myself in the long tall mirror then, balance on the cut in half yoga ball and throwing the weighted one.
I sign up for the assessment of my progress, laughing over the carrot cake cupcakes my daughter will make and how maybe I should wait for another day
And decide, it’s okay. Monday is okay, I expect I’ll see progress still, changes and acceptance of how the measurements will say I’m changing.
Sweaty and energized, I drive towards home and the moon.
The moon, my mama’s, it cannot be denied.
I’ve been being watched over and the moon, mama’s moon says to me
“Don’t stress, Lisa, you are just fine.”