Towards Jesus

Faith, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

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If you were a part of a group of people on a trip and you had no idea of the route, the time of arrival or the promised destination…

Would you follow along?

If you were considered wise, considered yourself wise

Would you band together with others wise, Magi, to travel dark countryside led by starlight

To worship a baby?  The one you’d been told would be King of Jews?

Would you the lead the way, navigating the positioned flock, forward moving based on positioning of the others?photo 3-6

Like geese on an early autumn morning, focused on promised destination,  moving towards the expected.

Being certain of the path and the arrival.

The place where Jesus was born.

There’s much to be said for moving

forward, uncertain and with

uncertainties,but

moving forward still.

Hurrying towards the Savior, like shepherds following a star.

When the angels left them and had gone I to heaven, the shepherds said to one another,  “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about. ”   Luke 2:16

Moving towards, drawing more close too, staying there.

Draw me nearer, Lord.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peacefully Believing

courage, Faith, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, wonder

 

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On Saturday, I opened a gift to our family.

26 beautiful little paintings to illicit thoughtful pause and intentional focus,  26 days before Christmas Eve, the season of Advent, time of preparing hearts.

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Not being quite sure of the proper activity, I’ve displayed them all and will, each day seek to be enlightened.

Prayerfully, quietly, peacefully.

Day 1,a buff colored tan with barely noticeable white lettering.

If peace were a color, it’d be white like this.

Barely there, almost translucent.

And white against a background of subtle doe colored buff would be contentment, acceptance, humble submission.

A color evoking a heart that has settled, found a resting place. A color that speaks of  believing what God promised would be.

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A heart like Mary’s, settled and waiting

unafraid of the scary or the spectacularly miraculous.

Because she believed what the Lord said would be accomplished.

So, I begin this journey of Advent, purposefully seeking to be at rest, to believe, to anticipate my heart’s welcome of the coming day.

To believe in the glorious

To believe like Mary

To be brave in a quiet way. Brave enough for feet to travel places that minds say are not possible.

Humbly content

Confidently at rest and accomplished through God’s hand on my life

Mostly though…

To be still in His presence and wait for Him to act. Psalm 46:10

 

 

Sparrows and other oddities

Faith, grace, rest, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

This morning was a chance to sleep a little later.

I sat with coffee and journal, the sun already warming the windows.

Deciding to walk with my daughter, morning instead of late afternoon, I saw sunlight through the pines, wrapping round them in loose embrace.

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Earlier this morning, at just the right time, I looked towards the wiry branch of barren crepe myrtle to see a lone cardinal amongst a group of sparrows.

Sparrows flew away quickly,  the cardinal too and then one tiny sparrow came back to rest, as if coming back for me.

I believe this to be true.

I’m convinced of it actually.

That my place on this earth is surrounded by beauty waiting to be noticed.

So, I notice.

Out walking, I thought of the poem about growing old, of all things purple.  Of wearing purple and living like brilliant purple.

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I turned to notice the  brightness in sky of clear blue today.

I thought of how odd I may seem to neighbors glancing through living room windows as I pause to capture skies and trees, out for a walk with my phone pointed towards the sky.

I thought, just a minute and then continued on.

I’m not bothered in the least that people might find me odd

My love of sparrows, skies, moons, and trees, the words to my rhyme.

When I am old, I shall notice sparrows and stop to collect blue feathers beside my feet.photo-23_kindlephoto-11317205

I shall marvel at cloudless blue sky and notice the budding of trees after coldest of days.

I shall spend mornings quiet, in quiet home, a satisfied nothingness of retreat.

I shall paint for hours, with abandon and careless grasp of time.

And I shall notice even more each minute.

In this world made to be noticed.

The heavens tell of the glory of God.  The skies display His marvelous craftsmanship.  Psalm 19:1

 

Golden Morn

Children, courage, family, Motherhood, praise, Vulnerability, wonder

From my morning spot on the couch, the sun came through in an all of sudden attention seeking way.

I glanced up to feel its greeting and then basked in its exhibition.

A wall, covered in memorabilia admittedly in excess, I remembered our color game.

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I spy with my little eye…

Blue denim jacket, straw-colored pony tail, coal-black labrador and brown crinkled winter grass among brown,white, tan-colored beagle

Loved you long, long time labs and beagles, she has.

And red striped swimsuit next to hand holding sister in pretty peach, ladylike tiny hand hair held back from brown freckled cheeks.

And rusty, brown, yellow and white kitten lapping snow-white milk from a silvery bowl, little chubby pink cheeked blonde boy, kneeling beside with happy brown eyes

A magenta painted door behind ornate black Charleston gate. No reason for keeping until now,  a place my heart is drawn.

A postcard from travel, a thank you note from a young man,  handwritten words faded gray.

Sandy white gulls under powder blue sky, white tidal froth and bronze colored little boy arms tossing bread towards the sky, sailboat scattered print hanging from tiny torso.

A beautiful young woman, pretty blue eyes framed by incandescent lemony hair.

Lime green frame, artsy black text added.. love you to the moon and back…a bright red heart and orange crescent moon, a thinking of my mama even though I’m with others gift from Heather.

A rustic bird made of brown, buff and grapevine green, reminding of mountain climb as family.

A starkly detailed pen and ink, a black masterpiece of bugs, Austin creative and elementary.

I spy with my little eye the colors of my world.

Memories colorful and cherished, warmed by early morning light.

 

 

 

Troubled Hearts and All

courage, Faith, grace, Prayer, Trust, Vulnerability, wonder
The day, already designed

The day, already designed

If it were possible for God to be perplexed by us

I wonder which would trouble Him more

Our hearts or our minds?

The sky was filtering early signs of sunlight finally, today.

Just before dawn I noticed and stopped to ponder my wavering faith.

To settle my thoughts on one word, All.

To trust in all my ways with all  my heart .

Proverbs 3:5-6

Proverbs 3:5-6

If God were troubled, annoyed, frustrated

Would my less than grateful heart be the cause?

My heart is confident and assured at times, but if reminded somehow of loss or regret I go right back to solemn and sullen. So quickly my mood can move from presence of good to  overshadowed by the past.

So, I’m wondering this morning what life would be like if God grew impatient and bewildered when we turn our hearts back to the shadows and we

get stuck there

unwilling to embrace goodness.

Would he be more confounded by darkened hearts or questioning minds?

Minds that doubt His design, losing sleep.

A prayer before sleep last night, a lament of surrender led me to wake earlier today.  Vacant thoughts slowly led to recall of a  “memory verse” that beckoned me forward.

Trust more, Lisa.

All your heart, not just a little.

All your ways, not just some.

And then in the quiet, a reply,  “It’s good that you’re back, Lisa.  Hope you stay a little longer this time.”

Grace, grace, God’s grace.

He’s a good, good Father.

Just a hint, rising up, peeking through. Waiting and believing with all my heart, all my mind.

Just a hint of light, peeking through. Waiting and believing with all my heart, all my mind.

Brown Dogs and Smiles

Children, Faith, family, Motherhood, Trust, Uncategorized, wonder

I’m a contradiction when it comes to surprises.  I love to be surprised.  Surprises, such thoughtful efforts in anticipation of a smile. I get all wrapped up in the moment of surprise, but obsess over the stuff to make it happen.

Sunday was a spontaneous road trip, a surprise I imagined being special.

Colt

Colt

Colt, “Colton Dixon”  to me, went to church.  His  bone and a tennis ball kept him company  during Sunday School then he tee-tee’d in the woods behind the cemetery and we were on our way.  ” you got this, Lisa…Good boy, Colt.”

Rainy day trip, traffic at a standstill for half an hour, too far to turn back, a restless lab and doubt bouncing around in my head in the car.

What a crazy idea. It’s gotta be raining there too. Who shows up with a dog, a tennis ball, bottled water and not much else to meet a young man in his white pants that can’t get dirty?

I parked at the Battery in Charleston. Warm breezes, sunny skies, sailboats and a grassy park filled with dogs. Colt, leapt from the car as I texted, “We’re here.” to my son’s girlfriend. She, shopping for a dress as a distraction said, “Headed that way.”

So, Colt and I stand, facing King Street to see them coming until I notice a group of people, one with a camera.

He, captivated by Colt waiting by my side, asks if he can take his picture. “Sure, I say.”  Small talk begins, they’re from Charlotte.

“I’m here to meet my son, it’s a surprise…thought I’d bring his dog…

hope it makes him smile…he should walk up any minute.”

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He did.  He was surprised. Raphael, the photographer who strolled through the park and noticed an excited mama and a  brown dog

Captured the smile.

And so this is how you take a chance on the weather

On spontaneity

on surprise.

And you get sunshine, memories and more surprised than ever imagined.

Raphael smiled, I hugged him.

He was surprised by my embrace.

And I said “God is so good!”

He smiled, nodding.DSC_0270-Edit

In Charlotte, NC and need a photographer? Check out Raphael Basisa at http://www.flawlesscapture.net/home.html

He’s got a big smile, big talent, spontaneity and heart…and now, Surpise! a dog named Colt on his website.

God is in the details.

Not so Far Ago

Children, Faith, family, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

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I looked at a photo from the beach today.

Austin grinning a big, carefree little boy smile and Heather, beautifully classic and on the cusp of womanhood.

God really blessed me, when he chose me for them.

Their smiles so close, I ‘m there now, right now…not at all so far ago.

Felt so close, not long ago at all.

As if I could turn my head to look back, allowing my feet to follow.

And be right there again on the beach, chasing birds.

This evening the clouds were heavy with grey white borders.

Like the remnants of an overnight fire.

Beautiful, soft and white against widespread blue.

I remembered mama when I turned to see the moon.

The moon, almost full. I felt her near.

I wondered then if the rain to come on Tuesday would obscure its fullness.  Would the sad, grey dark of rain clouds obscure its shine?

I walked on towards home  prolonging my return.

Stopped to look towards a yellow leafy tree and felt it then, the change in air, brushing my cheek as I paused.photo 1-8_kindlephoto-919356

A lightly cooler wind, as if God had suddenly, quietly moved up next to and beside me.

And I continued to think of my mama; sensing her now, again.

And turned to notice the changing clouds and continued towards home.

I noticed the red geraniums, a tradition for mama.

They’ve  lasted through summer and into fall, and so I stopped to prune the brown and brittle leaves.

Looked up and saw the moon again, had followed me home.

and I think of mama.

Not so far, not far at all.photo 3_kindlephoto-1004488

Long ago; but, not so far ago.

 

 

I could turn my head, or glance just slightly upward, so still and quiet in just a moment’s time, five years feeling like five minutes.

I know she’s not so far away.

The moon, the clouds, the sky…and the Lord.

Stilled and quieted myself like a small child is quiet with its mother,

like a small child is my soul within me.

Psalm 131:2

 

 

Grateful Pauses

Children, family, Motherhood, praise, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

Last week, I decorated jars.

Attached pretty slips of paper on twine wrapped greenery.photo-11_kindlephoto-23408621

Greg added little openings in the jar lids and I smoothed out the paper labels Heather made, “Give thanks” labels for  front.

Took them downtown, added a little sign to sit beside with Quiet Confidence, Isaiah 30:15 and my name

Calling them “Gratitude Jars”.

I need to make my own now, label it and become diligent in daily recall of blessings.

On my way home a couple of weeks ago, I stopped; another car and mine, waiting for light to change.

Two men on the corner, one helping the other.

One, shaky in his walk, clutching his brown bag, being led by the other down the sidewalk.

For just a minute, I wondered if I should be afraid, should flip the door lock.

I didn’t.

I watched, pausing to remember my daddy and a time he needed my help to walk, memories of his unsteady days.

This was the week of the remembering him 17 years gone.

And the memory of holding him up had nothing to do with drink.

I paused to watch and smiled.

It was a sweet, solemn time.  He had surrendered to love, help and grace in his last months of life.

Another time, similar in scene,  came to mind.  Again, in the car.  This time, Heather, Austin and I.  A man holding a cardboard sign, dressed in clothes that were a little scary and looking towards our car as we approached.

My daughter and I remarked something; I can’t remember what now, not at all kind, I recall.

My son, probably around 8 spoke up as clear as a bell from the backseat…”What if he’s Jesus?”

And the car fell silent.

Pausing to remember even now, the conviction in his voice as he chastised us.

I headed home, the two men in the distance.

Thinking of my son now, knowing he still believes in what he said that day.

I will remember this as a  “Grateful Pause”photo 2-5_kindlephoto-23184054

Last Sunday, “Mr.Bill”  had Children’s Sermon.  He’s the best. He’s animated, unpredictable and loves to surprise them.

I always listen intently and watch their faces as I sit in the choir loft.

His props are the best.  This Sunday, he pulled out a shovel.

He asked the group, “How many of you like to dig in the dirt?”

He paused.  I paused.

And the sweetest memory came to rest.  My eyes misted up just a little and I saw my Heather Analise.

Blonde, blue-eyed, wearing a sun hat.  The two of us sitting together in the sandy field for hours on end. She digging in the sand.  Me, digging my heels into the cool earth while she loaded dirt in her little shovel and then moved it to a pile, only to wedge her little shovel into that pile and move back to the other.

Hours on hours of the nothingness of our blissful play in the dirt with my daughter.

I pause even now, remembering and grateful for the sweetness of my life.photo 1-7_kindlephoto-23255186

A grateful pause.

Grateful Pauses,  I’ll label my jar.

I’ll jot these  stories down and drop them in.

Then, I’ll watch and listen, pausing for more chances to be grateful.

Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— Psalm 103:1

Linking up with Tell His Story writer, Jennifer Dukes Lee

http://jenniferdukeslee.com/the-best-seat-in-the-house-tellhisstory/

Persisting

courage, Faith, praise, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, Vulnerability, wonder

There are a few, maybe more than a few things I am persistent in.

I always make my bed, taut linens, perfectly smoothed quilt.

I pray every morning in the shower, like singing it’s a place to be secret, a sanctuary.

I journal, sometimes half-heartedly,  gratitude and anxiety.

I walk in the evenings, if daylight allows.  My walking, sometimes good and refreshing, sometimes nothing more than prescribed discipline.

Yet, I persist.

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I walked yesterday evening.  The sky was clear, the roads quiet and empty. I looked for pink skies and found only icy blue.

Earlier than usual, a warm afternoon and the sparrows were gathered,  moving tree to tree in rapid little sweeping flight.

Landing for just a second or two before gathering again to rest in brief refrain.  I caught sight of one resting up high on skinny branch.

Reminding me of rest, of waiting, of listening and trusting.photo 1-6_kindlephoto-41021794

Persisting.

Scribbling, quickly this morning

Again my thoughts on persistence.

It may take years and years and many types of trouble, calamity, crisis and question to truly understand the value of prayer. 

Because the answer holds little value, is really no more than change in circumstances. God loves us so, so much that He will bless us with reprieve, with clarity, with relief.  

Still, this is not the significance of God’s longing for us to discover through prayer.  God’s desire and constant beckoning of our hearts is for us to lay our hearts bare and broken before him…to persist there in that place…aligned with Him. To be fully content in simply abiding.

To return to rest in the safe place of God.

To persist in pursuit of the peace of God.

To be hid in the shadow of His wings and that be all we need to keep us confident and courageous as He bends to listen, protect and strengthen.  This is design and desire of God.

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I am praying to You, because I know You will answer O God.  Bend down, listen as I pray.  Your unfailing  love is wonderful and You save with Your strength those who seek you as a refuge.  Guard me as the apple of Your  eye.  Hide me in the shadow of your wings.  

Psalm 17: 6-8

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Linking up to Tell His Story with other writers, persistently praying.

http://jenniferdukeslee.com/for-those-times-when-you-dont-see-a-happy-ending-to-your-story-tellhisstory/

Day 8 of 31 Days of UNimpressive writing: enough

family, wonder

What if one thing, first thing in the morning is the best thing of the day?

Well, it would be enough.

Three times in a row…Colt lept into the air and caught his tennis ball.

Barely daylight and I complained again of routine.

Put on a hoodie and boots and into the autumn air we went.

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Our routine, several tosses, food, water, into his spot for the day with chewy things to occupy.

I toss, he retrieves, I say “drop” he drops, I toss again, again.

Three times in a row, he jumped,  perfectly timed and caught tennis ball in midair.photo 1-4

He strutted back, “Good boy”, I said looking into his mud brown eyes.

And that was and is the highlight of my day.

And it is more than enough.

Prayed, simply Lord, help me to sense my blessings, your good.

Tennis balls and big Brown dogs, thrilled to be alive.

Yes, Lord, this was more than enough.

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