Drawing Lines and Looking for Mercy

courage, Faith, grace, praise, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

On a Saturday morning with sunlight making designs on the furniture, I study today’s Advent card.

Six sketches, reminding of Christmas trees, but one different from the others.  One more starkly covered, filled in with thick black marking.

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There’s a story in the Book of John of a woman known for her sin.

Her indiscretions brought to light by accusers circled around in the sand at their feet, waiting for…demanding punishment with stone.

Accusers who retreated when handed their rocks to be thrown only if they’d never sinned themselves.

They wandered off one by one, their self-righteousness in check.

Then Jesus gently affirmed her sin, by saying ” Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” John 8:11

Thank you God,  for the glorious gift of your Son, my Savior. Thank you for the unfathomable reach of His grace and his mercy. Thank you God, most of all that yours is not a condemning acknowledgement of our failures, rather a gentle beckon…come or come back to me. Let’s walk together again. Go and sin no more.

We look for your mercy.

Amen

All the Pretty Colors

Children, courage, Faith, grace, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized

Today’s Advent card, Day 13, is splattered in the warmth of colors.

Little flowers, leaves, stems all mingled together, all God’s creation.

Thinking of mama and remembering what God can do

Thinking of mama and remembering what God can do

 

Last night, Heather convinced me to watch a football awards show.  I sort of watched, I guess.

I did get to see Dabo Swinney speak very confidently and with humility. I also got to see him dance surrounded by his players who were laughing at and with him, it was a happy time. A lot of love in that room.

Then, we both were captivated by a young football  player who accepted an award he was obviously honored to receive, yet had not an ounce of cockiness in his stance. I don’t think he said it, but,  he just had a look of “blessed” as he received his award.

Then the award, I wish I could remember the name for was given to a 28 year old  veteran,  his story of returning from war to college football and the tormented memories he carried.

A big, handsome man who thought not of himself but, but of the friend in his Echo Company who’d lost the battle of holding fast to hope. He died by suicide,  must have been one night this week, joining several others from this company, he said.

The young man, the older man, one white and one black.

Both humbled, both honored, both had persevered.

Both were fighters, had purpose.

Both cried the same eyes pooled with tears.

My daughter and I did too.

When my mama lived she taught us many lessons. I can’t say with confidence that they were taught to her.

What I believe is that she came to these truths because she was a lover of all people.

She told us many, many times. “There are good white people and there are bad white people. There are good black people and there are bad black people and some people are just mean as hell.”

Now, my mama loved the Lord.

She revered God;  but, she also spoke truth when it needed to be heard.

She told us again and again…”You know everybody sittin’ in that church pew on Sunday morning ain’t going to heaven, it’s just show.”

She was teaching us to see others for who and where they are.

Good people

Bad people

People trying to figure out which to be.

Teaching us “But, by the grace of God, there go I.”

She taught us how to live in a world with others, loving, her legacy.

This morning, before getting out of bed, God pulled some things together for me.  He had me looking back on my week and said,

“Lisa, this is why I placed this person on your path…all these people have purpose. I know you’re gonna need these to get through the ugly situation to come.”

A woman who helped me this week, she lives in our homeless shelter. We talked about her son, 17 years old.  She never thought to ask if he could visit.  He’s  coming to visit Christmas Eve. It started with me asking, “Do you miss your son?”

Or the high school student who shouted “Mrs. Tindal!!!” When she saw me, saying “Let’s do a selfie.”

We did and it was the best shot of the day.

Amelia and I

Amelia and I

Last night, a friend whose son knows this young lady told me her mama had died of cancer several years back. I had no idea.

I’m so glad we hugged each other.

A friend stopped by to tell me an alarming story of a comment made because of her race.  I stood and listened, so hurt for her that I cried.

We held hands and promised to pray for each other.

A big and thoughtless mistake was made on my son’s campus. The media has spread the bad,  neglecting to add any good…the possible cause for misinterpretation. I’m glad my son was not a part; but, I’m shaken by the ripple effect.

So, I think again of mama and I think of good and bad.

I think of things only God can do while we, like mama try to be honest, true, kind and obedient catalysts for good, for God.

I think of my daughter’s tears over the young black athlete. Because she, every single day has big hopes for all the little boys she teaches and tells them so by her actions “You can be something really good one day.”

I remember my son as an elementary student, adamantly denying that his friend was black…He’s brown!!!

The 4 year olds in my daughter’s class have new, more accurate names for color too…maybe peach, tan, beige or brown.

Not black or white.

All the pretty colors, truly he taught us to love one another.

O' night divine

Fall on your knees,
Oh hear the angel voices,
Oh night divine, oh night when Christ was born.
Oh night divine, oh night, oh night divine.

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother,
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord
Christ is the Lord, oh, praise His name forever
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

Everyday Delight

Faith, family, grace, praise, rest, Uncategorized

 

photo 3-5_kindlephoto-1076406There’s a place I begin each day.

It’s quite heavenly for me.

A delightful time allowed myself, a commitment.

Not rushing forward to join the day.

Just making a point to hold my thin little book and pen

and to write a few or many words.  It differs day to day.

Sitting, feet tucked under to read words of wisdom, to add with fluid black ink marking thick ivory page.photo-30_kindlephoto-6728005

Recording words that resonate and then to go on about my day.

Allowing them to catch up with me later, my favorite part.

This is my happy way of life, this little snippet of each day.

It’s sort of like little mental post-it notes, pretty pastels tucked here or there, saying “This is why you needed this verse.” .

If I write, I remember.

Just when I need it.

It’s delightful like today’s image for Advent, Day 10.  The most beautiful of happy colors, like square-shaped sticky notes, reminding me of the sweetness of a life God desires for me.

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Things that delight my heart are the things the Lord the desires for me:

My children smiling, my home at peace, a solace in storm and a welcoming return for friends and family;

Good health for ones I love and the gift of knowing Jesus for all I meet.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37: 4

 

 

 

 

All the Tiny Pieces

Faith, grace, praise, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

It’s not at all easy for me to fathom

That looking down on us God sees us, each of us separate and unique.

But, I do.

Believe the unseen, believe I am seen.

And because of seeing all things I can see.

I walked on Saturday, through the crinkled up brown leaves strewn over the path.

I turned the corner to see even more bordered with cushions of rich green moss peeking through.photo-29_kindlephoto-1098573

Layers and layers of same but different fallen leaves.

I continued on and stopped to notice the breeze as it rustled leaves, still clinging to branches, the wind cupping their edges to curve up, touching the sky.

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Each tiny leaf, a creation of God and each one different.

It’s quite remarkable really, to be known by God.

To be more than a tiny piece in an enormous collection of pieces, indistinguishable from the one beside.

We’re more to God than that. We’re each unique, His plans for us waiting to be understood in full.

Few of us ever know fully, I’m afraid.

Few truly live so closely to His Sovereign will that it’s possible to see all He has for us.

It’s sufficient though to God each moment we spend seeking.

Thoughtful moments with leaves underfoot and breeze making music in the trees.

Sufficient because his grace is, sufficient.

The image that marks today’s Advent reminded me of dust and blackbirds.photo 2-8_kindlephoto-17233090

It’s not at all easy for me to fathom that God sees more than specks of dust when he leans down to

listen

to see

That he hears my prayers, unspoken or not.

knows my thoughts

Sees my doubts, my dissapointments, my dilemmas.

To know that I am worth more

Than many sparrows.

But, I do believe he sees me.

No need to be afraid.

 

Towards Jesus

Faith, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

photo 3-5_kindlephoto-5215267

If you were a part of a group of people on a trip and you had no idea of the route, the time of arrival or the promised destination…

Would you follow along?

If you were considered wise, considered yourself wise

Would you band together with others wise, Magi, to travel dark countryside led by starlight

To worship a baby?  The one you’d been told would be King of Jews?

Would you the lead the way, navigating the positioned flock, forward moving based on positioning of the others?photo 3-6

Like geese on an early autumn morning, focused on promised destination,  moving towards the expected.

Being certain of the path and the arrival.

The place where Jesus was born.

There’s much to be said for moving

forward, uncertain and with

uncertainties,but

moving forward still.

Hurrying towards the Savior, like shepherds following a star.

When the angels left them and had gone I to heaven, the shepherds said to one another,  “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about. ”   Luke 2:16

Moving towards, drawing more close too, staying there.

Draw me nearer, Lord.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peaceful, Beautiful, Happy Smiles

Uncategorized

photo 3-5_kindlephoto-5215267I’ve paused to notice Day 5’s Advent Card since hanging alongside the others in order countdown.

It’s a humble beauty, this card. Just the faintest of peachy skin colored background, a feathery wreath and a pretty “five” in just slightest of gracefully shiny gold.

Evoking beauty, a contented ease.photo-25

Much like a faded photo of a beautiful woman captured in laughter.

Knowing not her beauty.

A woman uncomfortable with being noticed, usually uncertain of her pose.

Yet, in a moment she’s laughing with all her heart and soul.

She’s surrounded by her children, and us, cousins.

She’s joyous.

Her beauty is pronounced. She’s at peace.

Soft hair, uncombed and messy from ocean breeze.

Her cheeks plumped up by beaming smile, resting  ‘neath pretty eyes.

An old black and white photo, the date in tiny type on the scallop bordered edge.

The woman?

My aunt, the one who taught me

“Prayer and Patience”

She’s a humble beauty.

Day 5 of Advent, a peaceful happiness, an easy optimism and hope.

Mary and child, the angels providing a warm glow to welcome the baby Jesus.

If there were a photo, it would be an image of sublime celebration on a dark cold, but warm night.

I imagine Mary’s smile,  peaceful and serene.

Unreserved and unhidden, embracing glory

Upon seeing the face of her child.

Thoughtful in the miracle of a child.

All who heard were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:18-19

Let there be peace tonight and unhindered smiles tomorrow.

 

Three as Design

Faith, family, grace, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

photo 3-5_kindlephoto-5215267

Day 3, its image soft in color, peaceful again

Beautifully scripted three at the base, centered at the foot of the cross

The chorus of a longing lyric, trading ashes for beauty

Laying burdens down.

Lord, help us to center ourselves at the foot of the cross.

The culmination of your good design.

Help us remember the goodness of three.

Father, Spirit, Son.photo 2-7_kindlephoto-4265266

Like standing back to reflect on placement of objects to mark occasion in places all around the house.

Like adding a tiny candle, satisfied now.

Let me add nothing to or remove what you purposed for me…

To call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins. Matthew 1:21

 

Reminded of Rescue

courage, Faith, grace, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized

Advent Thoughts

The Advent image for today, the second day, is darker in color, a brilliantly deep red.

Smooth and symmetrical white lines evenly flowing through color and text,

“Deep calls to Deep.” evoking thoughts of wide, deep ocean.

The red, a deep wash. The hue representing our Savior, the color of love, blood-red.

Psalm 42 : a cry for rescue

Psalm 41 and 42 : a cry for rescue

 

I read Psalm 42 this morning.

A searching for peace,  questions of returning to a place of discouragement, of remembering God’s kindness; but, being unable to muffle the sounds of the tumultuous raging of life’s seas.

The waves and surging tides washing over again and again.

Life mirrors the Psalms.

We praise. We thank. We glorify and honor.

We cry out. We question. We long for understanding.

We remember the rescue only to question again the storms.

We search for redemption rather than remember we’re never without.

God’s love is unfailing. He beckons us, calls us, longs for us to experience the deep. Deeply loved, loving deeply.

We find ourselves lost in the deep to eventually find his love is deeper still.

We find ourselves in Him

When we come undone in His presence.

My prayer for Day 2 of Advent, my exercise in mindfulness and peace…

Cleanse me Lord, wash over me anew so that I can believe again, be reminded again…of your rescue.

You have preserved my life because I am innocent; You have brought me into Your presence forever.

Psalm 41: 12

 

Peacefully Believing

courage, Faith, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, wonder

 

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On Saturday, I opened a gift to our family.

26 beautiful little paintings to illicit thoughtful pause and intentional focus,  26 days before Christmas Eve, the season of Advent, time of preparing hearts.

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Not being quite sure of the proper activity, I’ve displayed them all and will, each day seek to be enlightened.

Prayerfully, quietly, peacefully.

Day 1,a buff colored tan with barely noticeable white lettering.

If peace were a color, it’d be white like this.

Barely there, almost translucent.

And white against a background of subtle doe colored buff would be contentment, acceptance, humble submission.

A color evoking a heart that has settled, found a resting place. A color that speaks of  believing what God promised would be.

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A heart like Mary’s, settled and waiting

unafraid of the scary or the spectacularly miraculous.

Because she believed what the Lord said would be accomplished.

So, I begin this journey of Advent, purposefully seeking to be at rest, to believe, to anticipate my heart’s welcome of the coming day.

To believe in the glorious

To believe like Mary

To be brave in a quiet way. Brave enough for feet to travel places that minds say are not possible.

Humbly content

Confidently at rest and accomplished through God’s hand on my life

Mostly though…

To be still in His presence and wait for Him to act. Psalm 46:10

 

 

Sparrows and other oddities

Faith, grace, rest, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

This morning was a chance to sleep a little later.

I sat with coffee and journal, the sun already warming the windows.

Deciding to walk with my daughter, morning instead of late afternoon, I saw sunlight through the pines, wrapping round them in loose embrace.

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Earlier this morning, at just the right time, I looked towards the wiry branch of barren crepe myrtle to see a lone cardinal amongst a group of sparrows.

Sparrows flew away quickly,  the cardinal too and then one tiny sparrow came back to rest, as if coming back for me.

I believe this to be true.

I’m convinced of it actually.

That my place on this earth is surrounded by beauty waiting to be noticed.

So, I notice.

Out walking, I thought of the poem about growing old, of all things purple.  Of wearing purple and living like brilliant purple.

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I turned to notice the  brightness in sky of clear blue today.

I thought of how odd I may seem to neighbors glancing through living room windows as I pause to capture skies and trees, out for a walk with my phone pointed towards the sky.

I thought, just a minute and then continued on.

I’m not bothered in the least that people might find me odd

My love of sparrows, skies, moons, and trees, the words to my rhyme.

When I am old, I shall notice sparrows and stop to collect blue feathers beside my feet.photo-23_kindlephoto-11317205

I shall marvel at cloudless blue sky and notice the budding of trees after coldest of days.

I shall spend mornings quiet, in quiet home, a satisfied nothingness of retreat.

I shall paint for hours, with abandon and careless grasp of time.

And I shall notice even more each minute.

In this world made to be noticed.

The heavens tell of the glory of God.  The skies display His marvelous craftsmanship.  Psalm 19:1