rest

Day 9: looking for good – priorities and patience

Children, Motherhood, rest, Trust

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There was a Day 8, it was yesterday.

I compiled a set of sentences about a verse in Ecclesiastes reminding me that God’s timing is good, in fact it is perfect. (Ecc. 3:11) My post was brief. It conveyed the value of waiting for God’s best instead of agonizing over the future.

It was a timely blog, because my son and I had visited a college in an effort to choose his next four years. The day had us both worn out. Maybe, we were both rushing ahead of God. By the time I was ready to publish my post, I had decided to take a break from the college talk. I was told to “chill out.”

Sounded good to me.

I could use a break.

All this talk of college and empty nest, of pressure and schools and leaving home had almost erupted earlier anyway. Just a little thing almost made me react uncharacteristically to be that mama who rants about all I’ve done. Not sure what’s more exhausting, thinking about the empty nest or pretending I’ll be okay.

We made it home from the college visit without too much of me “asking too many questions” and we were still good, me seeing him off to workouts with an audible “Love you too”  reply.

Something happened when I posted and I ended with a post and a link so I needed to trash one and then there was nothing left but a link that made no sense to me.

Panic ensued, fix this quick before someone sees it!

I was struggling with correcting this link error when my daughter came in plopped down on the couch. My daughter, the amazing teacher who tells me the sweetest stories of her students, a grad student at night. She is determined; but, exhausted last night.  She was more than tired, though, she needed an ear. I saw it on her face.

She had a friend who needed to cry earlier so she had listened. She wanted to tell me this story. I half-heartedly listened for a few minutes and caught my self. I know she did too. We do not like to be not “pretend”listened to.

I set the computer aside, turned to face her, listening to more of the story. Then, we both said “Love you, good night” and went to bed.

 

So, never mind about Day 8, I had bigger priorities than fixing a post, skipping a Challenge Day.

Because Day 8’s verse was so good it is Day 9’s:

He has made everything beautiful in His time. Ecclesiastes 3:11

Day 3: Good words: God-given,God shared

Faith, rest, Trust
more boldly, more clearly

more boldly, more clearly

Day three of this new, expanding my horizons writing/ linking/ blogging exercise and I woke feeling slightly illiterate in the blogger world. My writing for the past year or so had become a joyous spilling of my soul that was so,so special. Unlike journals scattered all over my house, it felt like a step forward, a tangible and beautiful gift to myself. So, I was thankful to be brave about my writing. It was good for me.

But, this morning to write felt like a “measuring up/attention seeking activity”. I have noticed when I write this way, it’s insincere and nobody may ever know; but, it’s not the work of my heart and soul. We all do it, this attention seeking thing. It’s easy to get sucked into.

I almost gave up; but, then decided, “Hey it’s not really about being one of hundreds who are writing during http://write31days.com/ and having my entries pop up for my blogger companions to see…it’s about that conviction that writing is a God-planted thing, a “don’t want to give this up because it feels God-given good“. 

So, I open my devotional to Day Three and I find pencil notes from this date in 2013.

They resonate even more clearly, so I outline the words more clearly, more boldly.

“Cease striving, if it feels like struggle, it’s not for you to handle, it’s for God.”

So, I will continue the 31 Days of Writing: Looking for Good, for God...an exercise in striving less, being more still and letting God determine the eyes that find my words.

Day 4:  not sure…I’ll be waiting to see good, God-given good. Not sure if it will pop up on my linky thing. Still, I write.

Only good

Faith, Prayer, rest, Trust

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Oh, sovereign Lord we cling to your goodness at day’s end. You are the God who sees us and we will not be swayed to believe you are not good and that you have anything but good for us. We know that you hold the universe in your hands, our lives, our hearts in your grasp. We trust your immeasurable, all-sustaining love despite the visual onslaught to do otherwise. Because your love is so big, beautiful and unchanging we are clinging to your grace and your mercy,as we lean on your everlasting arms. We thank you for loving us when our hearts are hardened, discontent and doubtful. For, you Lord are patient, so patient.In the morning, we will thank you for yet another opportunity to walk more closely, more consistently in love…your love.

In Jesus name,

Amen

Demonstrating love

Children, Motherhood, rest, Teaching, Uncategorized

 

Small things

Small things

I made Heather’s bed after she left for the day.  I cleared the football weekend,  tornado-strewn floor of clothes and various accessories and tucked her quilts tightly and just so.

I stood back and looked, turned to walk away then decided to leave a love note on her pillow.

Then I straightened Austin’s room and chose to let him be lazy, have his space. I stopped myself from repeatedly asking “What you doing today?” Which, in mama speak is “why you being so lazy?”

I continued with the laundry and let him disengage after an intense baseball weekend. I have questions to ask, but I let them wait.

Not pushing, prodding, whining or complaining…just me doing what they could be doing for themselves just because.

I am sure there are critics of my approach. Some call it enabling, spoiling, crazy…I call it demonstrating love. All the love I can, for the empty best is looming and I will have vacant spotlessly clean rooms and couches with no long,lazy legs sprawled over them.

Small things with great love

Love never fails. It binds us together… bond a mama only knows

Over all other virtues, put on love which binds us together in unity. Colossians 3:14

From blessed to bitter…the path of pride

Faith, rest, Trust
My Mary...hands open, patient, content

My Mary…hands open, patient, content

 

    Have you ever been with a friend who is sharing his or her current challenges, worries or even accomplishments and you tune out and start thinking instead of listening, planning for your turn to say “Oh, that’s nothing compared with what I’m going through”?  It’s human nature to connect through sorrow, through joy, through good things. But, sometimes we’re selfishly rehearsing what we’re going to say and we miss the majority of our friend’s conversation. We are about to burst to “top their story”. There is a gift to listening without having to interject any personal tidbit or rant whatsoever. Very few of us are able to do this all of time. Pride joins the conversation.  We start to compare our lives to theirs and we come away feeling less than, feeling like life’s unfair, we don’t get what we deserve, and frighteningly, that God is being unfair. If comparison is the thief of joy, surely pride is its partner in crime. When we go from connecting to comparing, then we venture towards discontent and pride. Pride, we know, is destruction.

     I’m thinking of Mary and Martha and the excitement of Jesus coming to their home for a visit.  The story of Mary and Martha and their reaction to Jesus is a short but mighty story, covering only five verses in Luke, Chapter 10. Verse 38 begins with Martha opening her home to Jesus. Mary greets Jesus adoringly and is, I believe, overwhelmed by his presence. She worships at his feet while Martha is flitting about in the house trying to impress Jesus with all of the preparations she has made and has yet to complete.  In verse 40, Martha is so outdone by her sister Mary, she asks the Lord “Don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself. Tell her to help me!”  Jesus, of course, gently tells Martha that “few things are needed”, in other words, there is no need for pride, no need for you to outwork or impress me, and I just need your heart, your worship. Imagine having Jesus on the other side of your front door and then to enter into your home; just the thought overwhelms me with hope and a sense of peace.  Sadly, imagine Martha angrily telling Jesus “to straighten Mary out”!  How then, did Martha so easily go from blessed to bitter?  She took her eyes off the blessing of Jesus’ gift of a visit and turned her focus to self. She went from feeling blessed to being bitter in the same way we so often do.  She compared her situation to another’s.  She kept an account of her effort versus her sister’s. She was prideful.

Be careful when comparisons lead to conflict, when discontent leads to discouragement, when bitterness leads to betrayal.  Pride is the path that obstructs the view of grace and of gratitude. Pride blurs the glory of God, of his presence in our everyday.  So, next time you have the chance to hear about the good things a friend or one of her children (this is my thorn) has been blessed by God to receive, remind yourself not to compare. Remind yourself not plan how you can get just as much as more or why good things never happen to you even though you work so hard. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy and pride is its partner in crime.

Simply Stated

Faith, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized

 

 

Years ago, a friend of mine was challenged, actually terrified, that they may be called upon to pray. I remember saying, “Just talk to God…it’s just a conversation”. I also remember the first time I heard him pray. It was beautiful and it was sincere.

Praise God, he does not discern eloquence and proper use of words when we pray! I believe it’s quite the opposite, in fact, it’s simply the “come as you are” philosophy that is the basis or all of the mercies and graces of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

I love the timeliness and honesty of the prayers from the book of Psalms. The prayers of David cover all the bases, from beautiful adoration to questioning and pleading for answers. In Psalm 34, David begins with a reminder to pray at all times and continues by telling us about the freedom from fear, We are reminded of the joy that comes from trusting God as well as the assurance of every good thing!
Still, we are prone as humans to make prayer a chore, a task, something we feel demands perfection.

We had a family vacation last week with many things planned and lots of people to please. Sometimes vacation can be a getaway that ends up causing us to need a return to routine just to rest. But, I chose a quiet place, it was different and beautiful…a setting surrounded by old oaks dripping with moss and an ocean inlet just steps away from the house. Yet, I still felt disconnected because I wasn’t able to do my set devotion time…the house was noisy.
One evening I found quiet time and sat staring out at the water. Not a sound but the tide and the wind causing the trees to sway. I closed my eyes and began a prayer that had a natural flow from my thoughts about each of my family members, their current places in life and my hopes for them. It was a beautiful time of grace and solitude. It was not my “set” devotion time nor was it a prayer before sleeping. It was a peaceful and reverent acknowledgement of God’s presence. It was an opportunity to turn my thoughts towards God and to know he listens.

Isn’t that what prayer is, simply the acknowledgement of his almighty sovereignty in a way that honors Him? I sat for a while eyes closed, listening, resting, trusting, waiting; and then opened my eyes to my surroundings and felt renewed, connected, and grateful.
A week later, I am still reflecting on the prayer on the porch. As I share this prayerful encounter with you as readers, I am still deeply moved by the presence of the Lord as the listener of my quiet unplanned ramblings. My sharing of my needs, my gratitude, my recalling of times he rescued me, and my requests for continued grace and mercy. Yes, all of that was included in that prayer…because all of that was in my heart.

This is His desire. Our hearts opened wide and emptied welcoming Jesus into the day to day of our lives. To me, this is prayer, simply stated.
Come and listen, all of you who fear God, and I will tell you what He did for me. For I cried out to Him for help, praising Him as I spoke. If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, my Lord would not have listened. But God did listen! He paid attention to my prayer. Psalm 66:16-19

Yesterday, I felt redeemed.

Faith, rest, Trust, Uncategorized
Luke 8:48

Luke 8:48

Yesterday, I listened to the telling of a story from the Book of Luke about a woman shunned, a woman who longed for freedom; peace of mind, peace of heart. Years of carrying the burden of solitude and shame because of her difference, her disgrace. She carried the weight of a condition she most likely felt was a punishment, although she knew no reason. She was unclean, without child and anchored by pain. She was meek, causing no harm, slinking back, avoidance was her way. She kept her gaze low for she knew her appearance was one that met eyes of ugliness and horror. She was unclean.

So, on the day she heard Jesus had been summoned to save the life of a little girl she found her way into the crowd…a crowd so large she might have a chance to blend and to ease unnoticed amongst the onlookers. The masses were captivated, anxious to see this man who had been healing, saving…no one will notice she thought, if I just touch the hem of his garment.

But, Jesus noticed, and surprised her with his turn from his path to touch her back, to heal her…he told her gently, confidently, calmly…”Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.” Luke 8:48

So, she did because Jesus felt her timid grasp, her anxious, humble plea, her perceived unworthy effort.

Yesterday, I felt redeemed.

It was a reminder of peace and beauty… a settled, satisfied feeling of where I am in Christ, not where I was.  It was quiet confidence. It was beautiful redemption.

 

starfish and grace

rest, Trust

starfish wonderA starfish stopped Hayes from his joyous running to and from the tide. Fascinated by this gift of the tide gliding up next to our chair, he stopped and smiled, looking up to say, “It’s pretty. Aunt Lisa.” His sweet face tilted up towards mine, I smiled back thankful for this Grace, this beauty, this exchange.

When I glance towards the sky and then look up again, beckoned by its beauty, that’s Grace.

When I rush back to work and am greeted by a red bird, fluttering softly then landing on the fence post, I slow down and wait, the velvety red color, captivating me…I sit until it flys away, thankful for Grace.

When I notice the scent of honeysuckle, slowing down my power walk to a restful stroll, that’s Grace.

When I call a friend and she lovingly tells me to let things go, that heavy stuff is only heavy because I carry it so long, that’s Grace.

When I pray, and I sense his peace and his best, that’s Grace.

His Grace finds us.

God is everywhere, we just forget to notice.

Lord, help us to be still long enough to notice your ever present glorious Grace. Help us to know you orchestrate our starfish moments as encounters with You, our loving and Gracious Father, saying  “Draw near, Stay near, see the beauty I have for You.”

And so, I walk in the Lord’s presence as I live here on earth. Psalm 116:9