Following your Star, Unwrapping your Gift

Children, courage, family, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, wonder
Advent Thoughts

Advent Thoughts

On today, the day before the eve of Christmas Eve, I started with a note from my daughter, reminding me of Christmas coming…”feel better” it said and so I committed to feel better.

And I did.  Some little things happened to help in the betterment of day. Gifts were wrapped, special notes written and gifts received.

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Beautifully gifted day

I prayed twice and then read about the star that was followed by the wise men.

Thought of them differently, not of bearded ancient figures with long flowing robes walking through the desert gazing upward.

I thought of them as wise people, intelligent, wise men.

It occurred to me then that the star must have been so spectacularly compelling they couldn’t imagine not seeking to know more.

Couldn’t imagine turning back, abandoning their souls’ fulfillment.

Wise men, yet still seeking to know more, to experience fullness as their feet followed, guided by brilliant star.

So, I jotted quickly, so as not to forget the thought.

Hesitant to record my thoughts because they felt strong like epiphany.

To write in my journal might lessen the power of my thoughts.

But, I wrote a note to self:

“What’s your star?  Where is the place God has for you?  What gifts in store?  What is the work God would have you achieve, knows you’re both capable of and long for?

If my feet followed my heart led by Jesus, knowing spectacular like a bright star awaits, I wonder where I’d be.

What gifts are waiting for my unwrapping?

Is it writing?

Painting?

Maybe the joy of leading by example, so that others move towards their calling, their joyous star. 

Angel moon and stars

Children, courage, Faith, family, praise, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

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The moon tonight had an angelic halo type haze circled around.

Many years ago, we’d made it back home from my mama’s funeral and had collapsed back into the house.

Worn, weary and drained.

Grief has a way of doing that.

You go through the motions of the ceremonial last gathering and when you’re done…you’re really done and emptied of most everything.

But, on that night almost six years ago,  my nephew called.

Told us all,  “Go outside, look at the moon…grandma Bette is looking down.”

And we did, my daughter and I, walked out into the cold January night and turned towards heaven to see the moon.

To stay there in that place, moonlit bright, shiny and fuzzy with glow as we felt mama, Grandma Bette looking down.

Tonight, the moon looked the same and I paused, not sorrowful or longing for backward steps; instead moving on as I drove.

Secure in the presence of moon, of mama.

Weaving on roads with few other people out, a cool night, stars all around and a crescent moon with a soft glow.

Making my way back home to son, daughter, husband and dogs…the glow of Christmas to greet me, the colors of Jesus filling the rooms.

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I thought of the stars again,  imagining how brightly they must have shone on the night our Savior was born, unobstructed by city light, by busy life.

I thought of shepherds following one star.

I wondered if they were convinced or unsure.

Doubted whether to continue on…following a star.

I wondered if their only hope was hope enough, to glance upward to stay on course, continuing on because of the one they were seeking.

The long expected one to guide us when star shine faded.

… they went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was.

When they saw the star, they were overjoyed.

Matthew 2:9-10

Overjoyed by where the star led them.

Like me, maybe my nephew, my daughter, nieces, brothers and sister.  We look towards the moon that leads us to remember, its aura, like an angel with halo.

We pause to lift our faces towards heaven.

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Drawing Lines and Looking for Mercy

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On a Saturday morning with sunlight making designs on the furniture, I study today’s Advent card.

Six sketches, reminding of Christmas trees, but one different from the others.  One more starkly covered, filled in with thick black marking.

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There’s a story in the Book of John of a woman known for her sin.

Her indiscretions brought to light by accusers circled around in the sand at their feet, waiting for…demanding punishment with stone.

Accusers who retreated when handed their rocks to be thrown only if they’d never sinned themselves.

They wandered off one by one, their self-righteousness in check.

Then Jesus gently affirmed her sin, by saying ” Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” John 8:11

Thank you God,  for the glorious gift of your Son, my Savior. Thank you for the unfathomable reach of His grace and his mercy. Thank you God, most of all that yours is not a condemning acknowledgement of our failures, rather a gentle beckon…come or come back to me. Let’s walk together again. Go and sin no more.

We look for your mercy.

Amen

All the Tiny Pieces

Faith, grace, praise, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

It’s not at all easy for me to fathom

That looking down on us God sees us, each of us separate and unique.

But, I do.

Believe the unseen, believe I am seen.

And because of seeing all things I can see.

I walked on Saturday, through the crinkled up brown leaves strewn over the path.

I turned the corner to see even more bordered with cushions of rich green moss peeking through.photo-29_kindlephoto-1098573

Layers and layers of same but different fallen leaves.

I continued on and stopped to notice the breeze as it rustled leaves, still clinging to branches, the wind cupping their edges to curve up, touching the sky.

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Each tiny leaf, a creation of God and each one different.

It’s quite remarkable really, to be known by God.

To be more than a tiny piece in an enormous collection of pieces, indistinguishable from the one beside.

We’re more to God than that. We’re each unique, His plans for us waiting to be understood in full.

Few of us ever know fully, I’m afraid.

Few truly live so closely to His Sovereign will that it’s possible to see all He has for us.

It’s sufficient though to God each moment we spend seeking.

Thoughtful moments with leaves underfoot and breeze making music in the trees.

Sufficient because his grace is, sufficient.

The image that marks today’s Advent reminded me of dust and blackbirds.photo 2-8_kindlephoto-17233090

It’s not at all easy for me to fathom that God sees more than specks of dust when he leans down to

listen

to see

That he hears my prayers, unspoken or not.

knows my thoughts

Sees my doubts, my dissapointments, my dilemmas.

To know that I am worth more

Than many sparrows.

But, I do believe he sees me.

No need to be afraid.

 

Adoring Stillness

Faith, grace, Prayer, rest, Trust, Vulnerability

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Tiny candles tucked in places around the house.

An old miniature tree in the bathroom

Gold stars resting in a pretty white bowl

Little pine cones gathered on a pretty afternoon to be sprinkled golden and then hung with ribbons

A little touch of country for the tree

A mantle with greenery,  candles flickering just enough to give a glow

To sit in the quiet of home at Christmas is to be still.

To adore the season.

To adore the Savior.

O’ Come let us adore Him,

Christ, the Lord.

 

 

Jesus We Love You

Faith, family, grace, Prayer, rest, Trust, Vulnerability, wonder

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On this, the seventh day of Advent, I undo the card from my display.

Remembering my son’s girlfriend,  IsabeI chose this as her favorite.

On this Saturday that’s yet to unfold

O’ Glorious Day!

My heart sings an old song.

My Jesus, I love thee

Know thou art mine

For thee all the folly

Of sin, I resign.  My precious redeemer

Savior

Art thou.  If ever I loved thee

My Jesus ’tis now.

Oh, what a beautiful reminder of peace is the sunshine flooding through my window, remembrance of the gift of day!

As if to say,  “Here’s a new day…Let it be good.”

The tree, only partly adorned, photo-27_kindlephoto-698300 reaching out to capture the light of day

And my little journal,  gratitude list,

Just one word with a period added for emphasis.

Prayer.

To you, O’ Lord, I lift up my soul.  For you are good, and ready to forgive and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You. Psalm 86:4-5

 Jesus, we love you.

Linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee today 

http://jenniferdukeslee.com/six-steps-to-a-guilt-free-christmas-tellhisstory/

Three as Design

Faith, family, grace, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

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Day 3, its image soft in color, peaceful again

Beautifully scripted three at the base, centered at the foot of the cross

The chorus of a longing lyric, trading ashes for beauty

Laying burdens down.

Lord, help us to center ourselves at the foot of the cross.

The culmination of your good design.

Help us remember the goodness of three.

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Like standing back to reflect on placement of objects to mark occasion in places all around the house.

Like adding a tiny candle, satisfied now.

Let me add nothing to or remove what you purposed for me…

To call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins. Matthew 1:21

 

Reminded of Rescue

courage, Faith, grace, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized

Advent Thoughts

The Advent image for today, the second day, is darker in color, a brilliantly deep red.

Smooth and symmetrical white lines evenly flowing through color and text,

“Deep calls to Deep.” evoking thoughts of wide, deep ocean.

The red, a deep wash. The hue representing our Savior, the color of love, blood-red.

Psalm 42 : a cry for rescue

Psalm 41 and 42 : a cry for rescue

 

I read Psalm 42 this morning.

A searching for peace,  questions of returning to a place of discouragement, of remembering God’s kindness; but, being unable to muffle the sounds of the tumultuous raging of life’s seas.

The waves and surging tides washing over again and again.

Life mirrors the Psalms.

We praise. We thank. We glorify and honor.

We cry out. We question. We long for understanding.

We remember the rescue only to question again the storms.

We search for redemption rather than remember we’re never without.

God’s love is unfailing. He beckons us, calls us, longs for us to experience the deep. Deeply loved, loving deeply.

We find ourselves lost in the deep to eventually find his love is deeper still.

We find ourselves in Him

When we come undone in His presence.

My prayer for Day 2 of Advent, my exercise in mindfulness and peace…

Cleanse me Lord, wash over me anew so that I can believe again, be reminded again…of your rescue.

You have preserved my life because I am innocent; You have brought me into Your presence forever.

Psalm 41: 12

 

Peacefully Believing

courage, Faith, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, wonder

 

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On Saturday, I opened a gift to our family.

26 beautiful little paintings to illicit thoughtful pause and intentional focus,  26 days before Christmas Eve, the season of Advent, time of preparing hearts.

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Not being quite sure of the proper activity, I’ve displayed them all and will, each day seek to be enlightened.

Prayerfully, quietly, peacefully.

Day 1,a buff colored tan with barely noticeable white lettering.

If peace were a color, it’d be white like this.

Barely there, almost translucent.

And white against a background of subtle doe colored buff would be contentment, acceptance, humble submission.

A color evoking a heart that has settled, found a resting place. A color that speaks of  believing what God promised would be.

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A heart like Mary’s, settled and waiting

unafraid of the scary or the spectacularly miraculous.

Because she believed what the Lord said would be accomplished.

So, I begin this journey of Advent, purposefully seeking to be at rest, to believe, to anticipate my heart’s welcome of the coming day.

To believe in the glorious

To believe like Mary

To be brave in a quiet way. Brave enough for feet to travel places that minds say are not possible.

Humbly content

Confidently at rest and accomplished through God’s hand on my life

Mostly though…

To be still in His presence and wait for Him to act. Psalm 46:10

 

 

Heartlight

Faith, grace, praise, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

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Dear Child of God frustrated by life,

If you could ask yourself now, is this the person I want seen…to be seen as, to be joined together with?

And if you know, maybe not so much you at your best.

Just know it’s not God befuddled by you, it’s you conflicted over the place you’ve stopped by to mull your condition.

It’s not God telling you in an earth shaking reminder that this is not your place.

But, it’s a subtle heads up because people around you have noticed and are satisfied in your communion…drinking the wine of bitterness, anger, confusion and retributive response.

And they might be your people, so you share in their meal and the thick bread of satisfaction over like-minded condition is scarfed down with gluttonous abandon.

So, you join because you belong there, sharing in the feast of ugliness.

But, you leave the table feeling bloated by discussion.

Until, you get by yourself and rest in the quiet of whatever reminds of you of light.

Slight breeze, hot bath, quiet rain, crisp sheets, moonlight, or birdsong far off.

It’s a funny type odd thing to me.

The way I don’t always see when I can’t hear.

In the quiet of finally hearing and feeling, I begin to see.

When relieved of the noise that buffers, I’m reminded then that my heart has been listening patiently.

You’re reminded then gently without chastising or shameful correction of a flickering inside gone unflamed.

Ever burning, just  a little shadowed by angst.

You remember again.

It’s the light, your light and it hasn’t gone out.

It won’t.

Ever.

Get quiet now and shine

if only a tiny and nondescript tealight kind of shimmer

until you can shine again, a bright luminous glow.

Stay there, rest in the quiet flicker.

Make it your ambition to live a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, so that your daily life may show the world that you are a Christian.

I Thessalonians  4:11-12

Shine now, quiet child. You are loved.

Linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee along with other story tellers.

http://jenniferdukeslee.com/what-we-all-need-to-know-when-we-want-to-tellhisstory-badge-1give-up-tellhisstory/

 Jennifer Dukes Lee