Be still, the Lord is Working

Children, Faith, family, grace, Motherhood, Trust, Uncategorized

 

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The sky this morning was dark.

Dull and heavy gray, the color of dirty mop water left in kitchen sink.

Unpleasant dark gray, dirt, dust and murk.

Grandma mopped her floor at night.

She dusted little mahogany shelves lined with tiny puppies, angels, bells, and kittens.

Pretty pink ceramic roses,  so many little “nic-nacs”.

Forgot to drain the sink after hanging the mop from a nail on the back screen door.

She’d say, “Look at that, you better not be trackin’ dirt in my kitchen again.”

Early this morning, the trees were bent to their sides by the wind.

The kind of morning, at my grandma’s we’d have been real quiet.

All of us, cousins at grandma’s,  the little white house on the hill filled with love, pancakes and butter cookies.

We’d have moved to the settee and sat straight up, feet dangling over edge, stiff and still.

Knees touching, a straight line of cousins, staring out the picture window, through the corn field towards Aunt Gloria’s.

We’d have sat there until the rumbling sky was a whisper not a jolt.

Until the wind no longer wrapped around us, sang its whistling song of swirl.

Because, my grandma would say, “This is the Lord’s work, be still.”

So, I wanted to cancel my trip today; wanted to be still.

Worried over my daughter driving before dawn.

Uneasy about the wind, the rain, the roads.

Prayed for her, journaling  “Keep us safe, Lord…help us not be anxious.”

The little girl in me, round freckled face, crooked pixie cut bangs shielding shy blue eyes

Remembered her grandma’s instructions,

Remembered her grandma.

Be quiet.

The Lord is working.

The storm will pass, she said.

And it did.

 

Teapots, Dog Food and Blessings

Children, Faith, family, Motherhood, praise, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

It was almost dark; the dogs had no food.  I’ll just run in and out, I thought.

The express line was stalled, a mama had gone back to get something she’d forgotten, the teenage daughter, looking up from her phone told me I should try another lane.

So…I got in line behind a woman with much more than an express amount. I noticed though, her teapot, really pretty,  a creamy white, touch of copper on the handle. “That’s cute.” I said.

I heard what I thought was thank you; then realized she was talking to someone else, somewhere else, the person with whom her earphone microphone thingy was connected.  So, she continued her conversation, not knowing I really liked her teapot.

I wondered if she’d use it or  just set it out somewhere, pretty like my creamy white plates.

My white bowls stacked up together next to antique glass and hydrangea.

Pretty little simple things I love.

My turn now, the cashier glances past me towards the store entrance, mumbles “What are they doing out there?”

Looks back towards her co-worker, the one in stalled line, teenager still staring towards device,  and says something.  I have no idea whatsoever what!

I’m nonexistent, I think… my cart, my dog food. I’m an object in a line.

She complains, the dog food won’t scan, has to type it in. I pay, lift the heavy bag back into my cart and finally she looks at me to say  “Thank you, Miss.”

Now I pause and I’m all out of sorts as to why she called me “Miss”, this girl, her age something “teen”, I’m sure.

I just stood there thinking “Miss?”

Then, I sense her there. This petite little lady, her smile as big as I don’t know what.

She shuffled up beside me, paused with me, her hand touching my arm, patting lightly.

Patting my arm and smiling.

Smiling, continuously smiling.

The kind of smile that reminded of a see-saw on a sunny day, the weight and joy causing her face to tilt happily to one side and then back to other.

She must’ve been 80 or older, looked like she weighed not much more. Her feet a solid foundation in rubbery thick shoes as her little body buoyed along walking beside me.

All put together she was, stockings of thick cotton-colored white, a proper church going skirt, and a delicate golden-colored silk blouse under pearl button cardigan.

“You got you a dog?” She asked, looking into my cart.

I looked towards her wide smile and smiled back saying, “I have two, they’re really my children’s;  but, mine now I guess.”

“Tell me ’bout ’em”, she said, “they married?”  So, I told her about my daughter, a teacher, getting married in April. Her eyes lit up, “Ohhh, that’s sooo good!” she said.  She leaned towards me, listening for more, so I added,  “My son’s 18 and in his first year of college.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” she exclaimed, animated and sincere.

“That is just so wonderful, so good…that’s a blessing.”

“It is.” I smiled and said.

We stood together a minute more, then walking away with her little shuffling skipping step, she smiled again, looking back, neither of us could remember where we parked.

“Me either”, I said “happens all the time” and again she smiled as she turned, both of us remembering where we came from.

And driving home I wished I’d hugged her, wished I’d asked if she had a dog.

Still wishing now.

Blessings!

Dreams and mornings

Children, courage, Faith, family, Motherhood, Prayer, rest, Vulnerability, wonder

Colt and I sat for a bit this morning as the darkness lingered in the rain.  His usual sauntering towards the door could wait I suppose, as if he knew.

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Some thoughts, memories, random comments spoken yesterday found their way out last night.

Out from the places in my mind that apparently were unsatisfied with the time I devoted to pondering.

That’s where dreams come from, I’ve decided, good, bad, scary or beautifully outlandish.

They’re just bits of thoughts, really.

Not seen through to the end, tied up neatly, put away.

I dream quite grandly.  I notice explicitly, don’t just discard my thoughts, that I put them aside for later.

This morning, I unraveled the night’s inventory of yesterday’s profound incompleteness of thoughts.

And, the big dog rested his head on the edge of his bed, heaved a satisfied sigh and waited there.

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I notice most everything, ponder things longer than most.

It’s a gift and a burden. A gift, because I care deeply.

A burden because my mind sometimes hoards  what should be let go, the irrelevant and the irrational.

Holds onto a thought, a conversation and then goes to bed with

“What if?

So, I rose early on my day off.  Saw my daughter who went to bed exhausted and achy as bright as sunshine and crisp as blue sky, heading out into rainy darkness to bless little  4-year olds.

Thankful she was not sick and I smiled at the thought of bride.

Just a little blip of a bad and worrisome dream….not reality,

Yay for a pretty wedding in less than three months!

And my son was asleep, his last day at home. He had not left with his guitar on his back without saying goodbye.

Another dream, not so much a “blip”.

More like a marathon on Netflix, an engrossing drama, looking everywhere for something, all vivid characters and colors.

Dreams that make you thrilled for morning.

Mornings mean clarity and gratitude.

Best things about it to me along with coffee and Bible.

Big dog patiently waiting as I scribble, read, thank.

Until we begin the day, noticing.

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Noticing all day, all the goods, turning the not

Putting it Together

Children, courage, family, Motherhood

I decided to buy a puzzle.

Thought of us working together, something new, unexpected.

Calm, but frustratingly challenged to find “that” piece.

It’s a unified task, a togetherness challenge.

It’s like-minded thinking…”Why on earth did we start this?” and  “Oh, here I found your piece!”

A different game night for us. My idea, they expected Scrabble.

1000 piece puzzle of lip balm...no idea. I thought they were candies

1000 piece puzzle of lip balm…no idea. I thought they were candies

We had dinner, cleared the table.

They indulged me. My daughter and her fiancee. My son and his girlfriend.

Then stayed there, circled ’round, elbow to elbow, our searching eyes scanning expanse of bright jigsaw.

Flipped the pieces, separated ends and corners.

And together, we did something new.

Something different.

Together on New Year’s Day

Putting it together, together.

Nothing better than that.

 

 

 

Loved Ones

Children, family, Motherhood
Merry Christmas from us!

Merry Christmas from us!

On Day 19 of Advent, I’m loving this bright little card with petite poinsettia and holly branches.

Scattered evergreen branches and red berries all thrown together, a mixture of little plants, one complementing the other.

Like our Christmas card, we chose the one with us all there together.

Including girlfriend and fiance

We loved the one that captured us all, loved ones.

Not perfect or proper, but blended well and behaving side by side and loved one by the other.

Silent Nights

Children, Faith, family, grace, Motherhood, Trust

Very soon, I will have silent nights.

Less late night dishwashing cycles, no waiting for distinct sounds of cars pulling in or sounds in the middle of the night  “Who’s in the bathroom, what’s wrong?”

Today’s Advent card, sandwiched between my two favorites is a beautiful image of “Silent Night, Holy Night.”photo-33_kindlephoto-9945622

And I’ve not finished our tree yet. Nor have we mailed our cards or drawn names for our Georgia Christmas.

But, the crazy, funny, most wonderful thing happened this Christmas.

Heather said, “Mama, why don’t we make ornaments from old photos and hang them on pretty little ribbons?”

And I asked, “How did you know I had that idea?”

It’s quiet now; but, some things happened today that I could run rampantly anxious over.

I could read too much and read into too much.

Instead, I look over at our tree and know in just a little bit, I’ll pray for them both, opening my hands towards heaven.

My babies

My babies

Placing my babies there in God’s hands.

This time next year, in the solitary and silent nest of home

I’ll be praying still for my children.

They belong to you, Lord. Just humbled to be their mama.

Golden Morn

Children, courage, family, Motherhood, praise, Vulnerability, wonder

From my morning spot on the couch, the sun came through in an all of sudden attention seeking way.

I glanced up to feel its greeting and then basked in its exhibition.

A wall, covered in memorabilia admittedly in excess, I remembered our color game.

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I spy with my little eye…

Blue denim jacket, straw-colored pony tail, coal-black labrador and brown crinkled winter grass among brown,white, tan-colored beagle

Loved you long, long time labs and beagles, she has.

And red striped swimsuit next to hand holding sister in pretty peach, ladylike tiny hand hair held back from brown freckled cheeks.

And rusty, brown, yellow and white kitten lapping snow-white milk from a silvery bowl, little chubby pink cheeked blonde boy, kneeling beside with happy brown eyes

A magenta painted door behind ornate black Charleston gate. No reason for keeping until now,  a place my heart is drawn.

A postcard from travel, a thank you note from a young man,  handwritten words faded gray.

Sandy white gulls under powder blue sky, white tidal froth and bronze colored little boy arms tossing bread towards the sky, sailboat scattered print hanging from tiny torso.

A beautiful young woman, pretty blue eyes framed by incandescent lemony hair.

Lime green frame, artsy black text added.. love you to the moon and back…a bright red heart and orange crescent moon, a thinking of my mama even though I’m with others gift from Heather.

A rustic bird made of brown, buff and grapevine green, reminding of mountain climb as family.

A starkly detailed pen and ink, a black masterpiece of bugs, Austin creative and elementary.

I spy with my little eye the colors of my world.

Memories colorful and cherished, warmed by early morning light.

 

 

 

Brown Dogs and Smiles

Children, Faith, family, Motherhood, Trust, Uncategorized, wonder

I’m a contradiction when it comes to surprises.  I love to be surprised.  Surprises, such thoughtful efforts in anticipation of a smile. I get all wrapped up in the moment of surprise, but obsess over the stuff to make it happen.

Sunday was a spontaneous road trip, a surprise I imagined being special.

Colt

Colt

Colt, “Colton Dixon”  to me, went to church.  His  bone and a tennis ball kept him company  during Sunday School then he tee-tee’d in the woods behind the cemetery and we were on our way.  ” you got this, Lisa…Good boy, Colt.”

Rainy day trip, traffic at a standstill for half an hour, too far to turn back, a restless lab and doubt bouncing around in my head in the car.

What a crazy idea. It’s gotta be raining there too. Who shows up with a dog, a tennis ball, bottled water and not much else to meet a young man in his white pants that can’t get dirty?

I parked at the Battery in Charleston. Warm breezes, sunny skies, sailboats and a grassy park filled with dogs. Colt, leapt from the car as I texted, “We’re here.” to my son’s girlfriend. She, shopping for a dress as a distraction said, “Headed that way.”

So, Colt and I stand, facing King Street to see them coming until I notice a group of people, one with a camera.

He, captivated by Colt waiting by my side, asks if he can take his picture. “Sure, I say.”  Small talk begins, they’re from Charlotte.

“I’m here to meet my son, it’s a surprise…thought I’d bring his dog…

hope it makes him smile…he should walk up any minute.”

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He did.  He was surprised. Raphael, the photographer who strolled through the park and noticed an excited mama and a  brown dog

Captured the smile.

And so this is how you take a chance on the weather

On spontaneity

on surprise.

And you get sunshine, memories and more surprised than ever imagined.

Raphael smiled, I hugged him.

He was surprised by my embrace.

And I said “God is so good!”

He smiled, nodding.DSC_0270-Edit

In Charlotte, NC and need a photographer? Check out Raphael Basisa at http://www.flawlesscapture.net/home.html

He’s got a big smile, big talent, spontaneity and heart…and now, Surpise! a dog named Colt on his website.

God is in the details.

Grateful Pauses

Children, family, Motherhood, praise, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

Last week, I decorated jars.

Attached pretty slips of paper on twine wrapped greenery.photo-11_kindlephoto-23408621

Greg added little openings in the jar lids and I smoothed out the paper labels Heather made, “Give thanks” labels for  front.

Took them downtown, added a little sign to sit beside with Quiet Confidence, Isaiah 30:15 and my name

Calling them “Gratitude Jars”.

I need to make my own now, label it and become diligent in daily recall of blessings.

On my way home a couple of weeks ago, I stopped; another car and mine, waiting for light to change.

Two men on the corner, one helping the other.

One, shaky in his walk, clutching his brown bag, being led by the other down the sidewalk.

For just a minute, I wondered if I should be afraid, should flip the door lock.

I didn’t.

I watched, pausing to remember my daddy and a time he needed my help to walk, memories of his unsteady days.

This was the week of the remembering him 17 years gone.

And the memory of holding him up had nothing to do with drink.

I paused to watch and smiled.

It was a sweet, solemn time.  He had surrendered to love, help and grace in his last months of life.

Another time, similar in scene,  came to mind.  Again, in the car.  This time, Heather, Austin and I.  A man holding a cardboard sign, dressed in clothes that were a little scary and looking towards our car as we approached.

My daughter and I remarked something; I can’t remember what now, not at all kind, I recall.

My son, probably around 8 spoke up as clear as a bell from the backseat…”What if he’s Jesus?”

And the car fell silent.

Pausing to remember even now, the conviction in his voice as he chastised us.

I headed home, the two men in the distance.

Thinking of my son now, knowing he still believes in what he said that day.

I will remember this as a  “Grateful Pause”photo 2-5_kindlephoto-23184054

Last Sunday, “Mr.Bill”  had Children’s Sermon.  He’s the best. He’s animated, unpredictable and loves to surprise them.

I always listen intently and watch their faces as I sit in the choir loft.

His props are the best.  This Sunday, he pulled out a shovel.

He asked the group, “How many of you like to dig in the dirt?”

He paused.  I paused.

And the sweetest memory came to rest.  My eyes misted up just a little and I saw my Heather Analise.

Blonde, blue-eyed, wearing a sun hat.  The two of us sitting together in the sandy field for hours on end. She digging in the sand.  Me, digging my heels into the cool earth while she loaded dirt in her little shovel and then moved it to a pile, only to wedge her little shovel into that pile and move back to the other.

Hours on hours of the nothingness of our blissful play in the dirt with my daughter.

I pause even now, remembering and grateful for the sweetness of my life.photo 1-7_kindlephoto-23255186

A grateful pause.

Grateful Pauses,  I’ll label my jar.

I’ll jot these  stories down and drop them in.

Then, I’ll watch and listen, pausing for more chances to be grateful.

Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— Psalm 103:1

Linking up with Tell His Story writer, Jennifer Dukes Lee

http://jenniferdukeslee.com/the-best-seat-in-the-house-tellhisstory/

Day 5 of 31 Days of UNimpressive Writing: Geese, Bluebirds and New Chances to Love

Children, courage, Faith, family, Motherhood, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

The geese were back this morning.

First time in days.

I turned to make my way back inside, stopping to gather fallen leaves and heard their approach.Their sound a celebration of the day, exuberant and joyous it seemed.

I held fragile leaves in my hand, turned towards the sounds of geese and joined in their flight, my mind there with them, moving forward, renewed and committed to the day.

 

The ground is soaked here,  covered in pine needles today. We were spared the damage of wind and flood, our yard simply evidence of rain, constant torrential showers.  photo 1I was thankful today for leafy, wind tousled and soaking wet ground.  Wet, muddy yard scattered with pretty color; my feet were planted in a level spot and I glanced towards the damp, steely sky.

 

My cousin called this morning and we talked of life, of children, of God.  We were getting carried away, consistent in our anguish, of things we can’t let go, things that frustrate us. We talked about the flood of our weekend and she shared her experience of Hurricane Katrina. This flood, Joaquin prompted storm, had both she and her husband reliving the trauma. I told her I’m very afraid of water and wonder if people will be found dead in their homes. She said “Most likely” and shared of homes ravaged by Katrina that were marked with an “X” to indicate a dead person inside.

We meandered back to the subject of our children then.

We understand why we’ve mothered the way we have; just don’t know why we keep going back there,

Trying to be the mother they’ve outgrown.

The mother that meets our need, not theirs.

We’re making progress though, beginning to think as God thinks of us, agreeing that the greatest desire of our lives has been to parent well, differently, unquestionably committed to our sons and daughters.

We have been and are good mothers. We know this.

Never occurred to me until just now, I thought to myself.  “I’ve parented well, absolutely wholeheartedly. Let God lead them now. ”

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She got quiet, thinking, I assumed then excitedly announced  “There are bluebirds in my yard. The most beautiful bluebirds are just outside on my porch!”

“God is telling us to have hope”,  I said. ” He’s telling us to let go now, we’ve done our part, he’s ready to take it from here.”

They’ve left our nests; well-loved and knowing they are loved.

There are new, bright places for them to grow,  us too.

Loved well and loving well.

New places to grow

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