Goodness and Possibility

courage, Faith, family, grace, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability
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May the Lord fulfill all your petitions! Psalm 20:5

Thank you Lord, for prayer.

This daily, hourly, prompted or not

Offering up, recording, pouring out or simply conversing with you, God.

Less uncertainty

More possibility.

Less effort, more expectation.

Believing, although not knowing.

Thank you Lord, for prayer.

For intercession.

For just the slightest of change in my dilemma, desire or discontent.

Thank you Lord, for prayer.

For big, big changes that cause my awe of you.

Give credence to my conviction.

And for subtle and secret answers.  Answers that ease mind and soul.

Answers that wrap me in ease of mind, sense of coming change.

Acceptance of my lot or just contentment in the waiting.

Thank you Lord, for prayer.

For seeing, knowing, calming and blessing.

You bless me indeed. Surrounding me with those I love and enlightening me by bringing those I need…people placed on my path to teach and grow me.  You keep your hand on me and with gentle caution you stop my rushing forward. You prevent me from causing pain. You hear my thoughts, my prayers.

You intercede on my behalf.

Thank you, God, for goodness and possibility.

In Jesus name, Amen

Faithful as the Day, our God

Children, Faith, family, praise, rest, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

The day began with cold rain.

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Nice to hear, fitting in a way.  I woke thinking of challenges, questions, contemplations over what the day might bring.

Might not.

I stepped outside, unconcerned with the cold and wet, then turned back towards inside to prepare for the day, the Sunday.

To not be bothered by cold, wet rain speaks volumes in terms of mood, of place in life.

Accepting the day.

Accepting the season.

My spirit, reluctant.

Meal started, dogs settled, lesson studied, dressed for Sunday.

And the sky changed to brilliant blue.

So, we drove; casual talk and heavy, pretty country road, trees clinging to sunlight.

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Faith, fear, hopes, goals, concerns and the such.

Almost cliche’, our rambling of topics has become.

Words befitting of our age and place in life, in relationship.

Sunday School lesson taught,  choir song sung ….

“Sweet, sweet spirit in this place…surely the presence of the Lord is in this place.”

I join him then.  Just us, no children on our pew anymore.

“I could hear your voice, it was good.” He says and holds my hand as we are reminded how to worship.

A sermon on commitment, being committed to your worship.

Being in the moments God brings, noticing He’s there always.

He is faithful.

The day, cold still and darkly stormy again as we drove back home.

Changing three times already, one day, three colors of sky.

House warmed by fire, meal finished up.

We sit together, just the two, with good food.

He offers up prayer that God keep us in His will.

Then football for him, painting for me.

A sweet, sweet spirit in this place, this season.

God will make this happen. For He who calls you is faithful.

 I Thessalonians 5:24

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Linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee, Telling His Story

Dreams and mornings

Children, courage, Faith, family, Motherhood, Prayer, rest, Vulnerability, wonder

Colt and I sat for a bit this morning as the darkness lingered in the rain.  His usual sauntering towards the door could wait I suppose, as if he knew.

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Some thoughts, memories, random comments spoken yesterday found their way out last night.

Out from the places in my mind that apparently were unsatisfied with the time I devoted to pondering.

That’s where dreams come from, I’ve decided, good, bad, scary or beautifully outlandish.

They’re just bits of thoughts, really.

Not seen through to the end, tied up neatly, put away.

I dream quite grandly.  I notice explicitly, don’t just discard my thoughts, that I put them aside for later.

This morning, I unraveled the night’s inventory of yesterday’s profound incompleteness of thoughts.

And, the big dog rested his head on the edge of his bed, heaved a satisfied sigh and waited there.

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I notice most everything, ponder things longer than most.

It’s a gift and a burden. A gift, because I care deeply.

A burden because my mind sometimes hoards  what should be let go, the irrelevant and the irrational.

Holds onto a thought, a conversation and then goes to bed with

“What if?

So, I rose early on my day off.  Saw my daughter who went to bed exhausted and achy as bright as sunshine and crisp as blue sky, heading out into rainy darkness to bless little  4-year olds.

Thankful she was not sick and I smiled at the thought of bride.

Just a little blip of a bad and worrisome dream….not reality,

Yay for a pretty wedding in less than three months!

And my son was asleep, his last day at home. He had not left with his guitar on his back without saying goodbye.

Another dream, not so much a “blip”.

More like a marathon on Netflix, an engrossing drama, looking everywhere for something, all vivid characters and colors.

Dreams that make you thrilled for morning.

Mornings mean clarity and gratitude.

Best things about it to me along with coffee and Bible.

Big dog patiently waiting as I scribble, read, thank.

Until we begin the day, noticing.

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Noticing all day, all the goods, turning the not

Putting it Together

Children, courage, family, Motherhood

I decided to buy a puzzle.

Thought of us working together, something new, unexpected.

Calm, but frustratingly challenged to find “that” piece.

It’s a unified task, a togetherness challenge.

It’s like-minded thinking…”Why on earth did we start this?” and  “Oh, here I found your piece!”

A different game night for us. My idea, they expected Scrabble.

1000 piece puzzle of lip balm...no idea. I thought they were candies

1000 piece puzzle of lip balm…no idea. I thought they were candies

We had dinner, cleared the table.

They indulged me. My daughter and her fiancee. My son and his girlfriend.

Then stayed there, circled ’round, elbow to elbow, our searching eyes scanning expanse of bright jigsaw.

Flipped the pieces, separated ends and corners.

And together, we did something new.

Something different.

Together on New Year’s Day

Putting it together, together.

Nothing better than that.

 

 

 

Bibles and Pantsuits

courage, Faith, family, praise, Teaching, Trust, Uncategorized
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My new Bible, a Christmas gift from Benji and Heather

Every Sunday, she’d ask. “How many daily Bible readers did we have today?”  The person who kept the Sunday School record would respond. I waited, scanning the encircled group of class members for expressions as she responded.

“This is the one we thing you all should do…how else will you know how to live?”

For a very long time I rejected her advice, her exhortation felt too much like demand.

Puffed up and independent minded, I reminded myself that I would not concede to pressure. I would not be made to feel inadequate or a sinner by not following one person’s ideas or rules.

My grandma, “Bama” had varicose veins. Big, thick purple bulges held down by thick rubber-like pantyhose that went up above her knees.

She wanted to go to church; but, felt unwelcome. She had to wear slacks, sharp little pantsuits.

She stopped attending church after a bit.

Stopped after judgemental glances from other women dressed in pastel colored dresses with hummingbird pins on their scarves, matching purse in one hand, tightly clenched smiles and fingers wrapped around their Bibles.

Bama, dressed in crisp pantsuit, sharp and fashionable, yet scorned.

I wear pants to church most Sundays, it’s okay, feels right to me.

Not for Bama though, back then.

The preacher, continued on admonishing errant ways of ladies in pants and other behaviors that most likely would lead to burning in hell.

I never understood why wearing pants was wrong back then. My grandmother must have been hurt. She never let it show.

I was.

I don’t recall her ever complaining. She just stayed home.

A preacher’s daughter unwelcome in the church

Yet, she always had her Bible, her little Gideon New Testament  in her purse and King James version beside her bed.

I remember her nightly ritual.

I’ve seen my name in the margins of her Bible.

I cherish the image of dimly lit bedroom, me sometimes there beside her, pretending to sleep,  under thick quilts.

Sleeping with Bama on Friday nights,  careful not to brush against her legs.

Quiet, sweet, calm nights with Bama.

Lying next to her, before sleep Bible reading.

Obedience to God, not people.

I’m a daily Bible reader now. It’s not an obedient-like requirement or a response to curtail retribution or chastisement.

It’s not an avoidance of punishment or hardship; rather, for me an act of expectant submission.

Anticipation of revelation and comfort.

God, revealing new things, His words exhorting me to continue or comforting me in my missteps, misfortune.

I know that to know God is to read His word.

Know that choosing to live with God’s word in my heart and mind is the most certain way to see clearly my life as God designed.

So, I cherish my Bible. I cherish my mornings,  marking in the margins of my Bible, like Bama.

Morning by morning he awakens;  He awakens my ear to hear.

Isaiah 50: 4

 

Following your Star, Unwrapping your Gift

Children, courage, family, Prayer, rest, Teaching, Trust, wonder
Advent Thoughts

Advent Thoughts

On today, the day before the eve of Christmas Eve, I started with a note from my daughter, reminding me of Christmas coming…”feel better” it said and so I committed to feel better.

And I did.  Some little things happened to help in the betterment of day. Gifts were wrapped, special notes written and gifts received.

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Beautifully gifted day

I prayed twice and then read about the star that was followed by the wise men.

Thought of them differently, not of bearded ancient figures with long flowing robes walking through the desert gazing upward.

I thought of them as wise people, intelligent, wise men.

It occurred to me then that the star must have been so spectacularly compelling they couldn’t imagine not seeking to know more.

Couldn’t imagine turning back, abandoning their souls’ fulfillment.

Wise men, yet still seeking to know more, to experience fullness as their feet followed, guided by brilliant star.

So, I jotted quickly, so as not to forget the thought.

Hesitant to record my thoughts because they felt strong like epiphany.

To write in my journal might lessen the power of my thoughts.

But, I wrote a note to self:

“What’s your star?  Where is the place God has for you?  What gifts in store?  What is the work God would have you achieve, knows you’re both capable of and long for?

If my feet followed my heart led by Jesus, knowing spectacular like a bright star awaits, I wonder where I’d be.

What gifts are waiting for my unwrapping?

Is it writing?

Painting?

Maybe the joy of leading by example, so that others move towards their calling, their joyous star. 

Preparing Him Room

Faith, family, grace, praise, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

In all the busyness, the hosting, the planning and the preparing…

Prepare Him Room.

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Breathe in his presence and sit with it.

His gift of grace like the spot known as yours on the sofa, next to the twinkle of tree now, it’s Christmas.

Peace, be still and Alleluja

Solace and  love there

Heaven and nature singing above and around.

I’ve invited Him in.

Prepared Him room.

Revel in and then rest there, His presence in your room.

Let every heart prepare Him Room.

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6

Loved Ones

Children, family, Motherhood
Merry Christmas from us!

Merry Christmas from us!

On Day 19 of Advent, I’m loving this bright little card with petite poinsettia and holly branches.

Scattered evergreen branches and red berries all thrown together, a mixture of little plants, one complementing the other.

Like our Christmas card, we chose the one with us all there together.

Including girlfriend and fiance

We loved the one that captured us all, loved ones.

Not perfect or proper, but blended well and behaving side by side and loved one by the other.

Angel moon and stars

Children, courage, Faith, family, praise, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized, Vulnerability, wonder

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The moon tonight had an angelic halo type haze circled around.

Many years ago, we’d made it back home from my mama’s funeral and had collapsed back into the house.

Worn, weary and drained.

Grief has a way of doing that.

You go through the motions of the ceremonial last gathering and when you’re done…you’re really done and emptied of most everything.

But, on that night almost six years ago,  my nephew called.

Told us all,  “Go outside, look at the moon…grandma Bette is looking down.”

And we did, my daughter and I, walked out into the cold January night and turned towards heaven to see the moon.

To stay there in that place, moonlit bright, shiny and fuzzy with glow as we felt mama, Grandma Bette looking down.

Tonight, the moon looked the same and I paused, not sorrowful or longing for backward steps; instead moving on as I drove.

Secure in the presence of moon, of mama.

Weaving on roads with few other people out, a cool night, stars all around and a crescent moon with a soft glow.

Making my way back home to son, daughter, husband and dogs…the glow of Christmas to greet me, the colors of Jesus filling the rooms.

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I thought of the stars again,  imagining how brightly they must have shone on the night our Savior was born, unobstructed by city light, by busy life.

I thought of shepherds following one star.

I wondered if they were convinced or unsure.

Doubted whether to continue on…following a star.

I wondered if their only hope was hope enough, to glance upward to stay on course, continuing on because of the one they were seeking.

The long expected one to guide us when star shine faded.

… they went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was.

When they saw the star, they were overjoyed.

Matthew 2:9-10

Overjoyed by where the star led them.

Like me, maybe my nephew, my daughter, nieces, brothers and sister.  We look towards the moon that leads us to remember, its aura, like an angel with halo.

We pause to lift our faces towards heaven.

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Silent Nights

Children, Faith, family, grace, Motherhood, Trust

Very soon, I will have silent nights.

Less late night dishwashing cycles, no waiting for distinct sounds of cars pulling in or sounds in the middle of the night  “Who’s in the bathroom, what’s wrong?”

Today’s Advent card, sandwiched between my two favorites is a beautiful image of “Silent Night, Holy Night.”photo-33_kindlephoto-9945622

And I’ve not finished our tree yet. Nor have we mailed our cards or drawn names for our Georgia Christmas.

But, the crazy, funny, most wonderful thing happened this Christmas.

Heather said, “Mama, why don’t we make ornaments from old photos and hang them on pretty little ribbons?”

And I asked, “How did you know I had that idea?”

It’s quiet now; but, some things happened today that I could run rampantly anxious over.

I could read too much and read into too much.

Instead, I look over at our tree and know in just a little bit, I’ll pray for them both, opening my hands towards heaven.

My babies

My babies

Placing my babies there in God’s hands.

This time next year, in the solitary and silent nest of home

I’ll be praying still for my children.

They belong to you, Lord. Just humbled to be their mama.