Faith

Miss “Skricklin”…reflections on a first year of love

Children, Faith, Motherhood, Teaching, Uncategorized
Teaching love

Teaching love….lessons from Heather’s first year

Today, a whole bunch of 4K children will arrive excited to play outdoors at the end of the year party. I hear there will be water involved and most of the day will be outdoors. Summer will begin next week and the lessons will be memories and foundations for their future. They have had their first year of school with a first year teacher…a Teacher who taught lessons and love. I am going to miss my daughter’s stories of connections, concern, comedy, and compassion…my daughter, a teacher who loves.

Here are just a few things I know her students learned this year, the things that will assure them of the goodness of teachers:

If you don’t have a mat for naptime, you use a towel and one day when you least expect it, your teacher will call you up to her desk and whisper, “Look, I got you a mat!” and you will know you are important to her.

If you throw up all over your stuff in your cubby and your classmate’s cubby, you might come to school the next day and your teacher will give you a freshly washed bookbag ’cause your teacher took it home, unpacked it, wiped away the grossness and washed it in her washing machine. You will know that a really, horrible day doesn’t mean tomorrow will be bad, your teacher will make sure of that.

If you don’t have very much food at home and you forget your “weekend backpack” your teacher will show up in front of your house and as you open the door you will see your teacher’s smiling face on your porch ’cause she wants to make sure your weekend is good and she will see you on Monday! You will know that even if she can’t be with you on the weekends, she cares.

If there is something you just can’t learn and nobody can figure it out, your teacher will tell you, “You can, let’s try again.” and even if you ask her over and over “Can you help me?” she will help you and tell you each time, “You can do this.” So, you will know “you can learn if you don’t give up.”

Close to 20 children will be kindergarteners next year and will know what to expect from a teacher. They will remember that a teacher has rules and schedules and likes to be listened to; but, most importantly, they will remember that teachers love!

Thankful to be the mother of a teacher who loves and remembers her first year of being loved by a teacher….the framework for her life…for her students!

Baseball quotes

Faith, Motherhood, Trust
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2014 Season…a good one

This morning I was talking baseball, life and faith…three things I like to talk about. Here’s what we decided: “Baseball and life are filled with adversity and if you’re fortunate to navigate through some adversity coming out stronger, that’s great. But, greater and more demonstrative of character is how you respond to prosperity when it comes. Because, it will come in time.”

Neither adversity nor prosperity are permanent.

When times are good, be happy; but, when times are bad consider God has made the one as well the other. Ecclesiastes 7:14

Life and baseball, baseball and life…ebbs and flows, peaks and valleys.

“It’s a game, keep it fun.”  Austin aka “Strick”

Happy  17th Birthday,  “Austy”!

need to know

Faith, Uncategorized

Waiting for good

I can find my way through the house in the dark and recognize a coming home car sound as it pulls in the driveway. I am pretty good at being so eerily quiet that no one wakes up as I listen to their sleeping. I was a little girl who was skilled in planning for good, bad, violent,scary. I am still uneasy with the uncertainties of people because I need to plan for being safely hidden. Trivial things that I don’t know the outcome or what will be said or done sort of freak me out. This is the burden of a childhood of needing to know what would happen when daddy got home.

When I was a little girl, my daddy backed his car into the spot between two trees covered in purple wisteria. Sometimes he came inside and we had supper. Other times I waited for the sound of the creaky car door shutting and then I’d still myself for voices, questions, shouting, sometimes loud sounds of hands hitting my mama’s face, arms, back, kicking her back. I cowered, I  hid, I was ready because I knew he stayed in the car too long with his paper bag covered bottle and thoughts.

Today, I read Chapter 4 of Bonnie Gray’s Finding Spiritual Whitespace. I was one with Bonnie as she detailed the porch scene, violent and sad. I connected, I was moved. I thank God for her bravery and her healing.

I will continue to read and continue my journey into sharing the unspoken horrors, thereby freeing up space for Jesus and his peace.

I will unpack, uncover, explain the scars…the scars I have eluded to…and in the sharing, in the bold connecting I will tell others. Jesus is my redeemer…the one who needs the space occupied by horror. I will empty the bad, horrible,scary, stuff and I will free up space for peace, for spiritual whitespace.

God who sees me

Faith, Prayer, Uncategorized

I am learning it’s about relationship…this thing called prayer.  We make it intimidating, often we abuse its worth or casually say we do or we will, as a generic response; but, we don’t pray.

God knows our hearts…be assured he will not abandon us. He will, however orchestrate our lives in a way that we can’t help but fall on our knees, either praising or imploring. I’m certain he wonders why we don’t just stay near, keep the conversation going. Just the same, he knows we’re cyclical by nature and he’s patient with our inconsistencies because he knows after awhile we will know to be near is peace…and we will stay there…near to the heart of God. The place where we see Him and see ourselves the way he has always seen us…as His child.

Knees down. Face raised, hands open to release, receive.

You are the God who sees me. Genesis 16:13

Staring at the sky

Faith, rest, Trust, Uncategorized
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Cedars at Hendrix Cemetery Rocky Ford, Georgia

When I was a little girl I loved to lie down in the cool, sandy dirt pathway that led from my grandma’s house to the pond. I could lie there staring upwards in silence, not thinking or imagining anything; just fixated on the expanse of blue as my hands caressed the fine, sandy dirt, rhythmically filtering handfuls through my fingers.  Or sometimes I’d position myself under the chinaberry tree and peer through the branches sprinkled with teeny-tiny green berries, still wondering about everything; at the same time content to figure out nothing really, just to be there with sky, ground and God… my grandma’s backyard.

Recently, not Mother’s Day as you may expect, I drove to the country cemetery up on a hill, a family place, Hendrix Cemetery. I was alone and content to be with my mama and daddy. I was secluded enough, surrounded by farmer’s fields to place  tokens of my love, my longings for them on their headstones. A penny for my daddy, a flower for my mama and then I rested under the old cedar tree, its fingerlings branches reaching towards heaven.  Not a sorrowful rest, but a sweet surrender to sovereignty… a place of acceptance, more so over time,  a quiet rest, in in the country, with them, the trees, and the bluest blue sky.

With God…a place of soul rest.

“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place.” Jesus  

Mark 6:31

 

 

 

Mother’s Day – Alphabetized

Faith, Motherhood, Uncategorized

 

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Yay, for finding this! I know Mother’s Day is next weekend; but, I have been thinking about this post all week. This is from three years ago and my blog was sort of not so well-organized, the fonts nor layout…the content always so great! 

But, I have grown. The two of you have grown. We have grown together with God’s grace and prayer and still random “Don’t forget I love you’s” and even more “thank you God prayers from me”  because he gave the two of you to me. ❤️

Last week, I sat in a meeting pretending to be compelled by the speaker. If I told you the topic, you’d agree that there was no real reason for me to listen. I promise, I was not rude, just disinterested. You would have been too.

So, I began to think about Mother’s Day.

Last year I did something new at Mother’s Day… I gave my children cards…after all, without them I wouldn’t be a mother on Mother’s Day.  Ridiculous or martyrdom type thinking? I think not…makes sense to me.  You’ll see why.

So, my mind continued to wander, surrounded by people either listening or not and I decided to use my alphabet trick. When I can’t sleep or am bored I start with A and thank God in ABC order with spontaneity and randomness. As I started with A, I realized I was listing things about my children and so, this will be this year’s Mother’s Day card to Heather and Austin…an alphabetical listing of the reasons I love them and the thoughts I think of them throughout my days:

A is for Austin, my grandfather’s name and for Analise, the center of my girl’s name, the reverse of mine….B is for Bama, who taught me to love words by playing “Scramble” and for Bible verses I love…C is for constant, not conditional, my love for you and for cornfields and cotton and country girl things…D is for dirt roads and dancing, because you may not remember; but, when your were babies we danced, soft swaying and spinnin’ round the room…E is for Everything small things and the big things too…F is for Faith, simple and strong…G is for Gator cheerleader and my Gregg Park boy…H is for Heather, Hugs and Hands held…I is for itsy-bitsy spiders and ice cream from a churn… J is for “junkin”, a mommy day treat and for James,  a young man, distinguished and sweet…K is for kisses  on your sweet fingers, foreheads and toes…L is for Lisa, you both call me at times, confident and funny, I don’t really mind…M is for mommy my favorite of all but I’ll answer to mama as long as you call… and for Memory most of all the “don’t forget I love yous ” I like to leave on your phones …N is for naptime, we all love them still…O is for ornery, I sometimes am ill…P is for Prayer, every day and more;  whether you were pitching or pouting or praisin’ the Lord  …Q is for quiet, the house when you’re gone…   R is for rascal, your great-grandaddy a legacy of rambunctiousness and for Right as in “do the Right thing”…S is for Stephanie, whose soul lives in you and for Spot, a chubby dog character who we all knew…T is for tantrums in car seats and stores and for tears shed over life or losing or winning scores…U is for unconditional, my love for you two and for undies unworn and for uniforms with mud… V is for Value; not from me, but from God and for Verses I send, random and true…X is for the Xtra big Xtravagant love I have for you…Y is for YOU, what I pray you will be… despite any challenge of any degree. Don’t lean to the wrong or follow along, be YOU in a crowd, with Jesus beside you, you’re never alone…Z is for Zoo, which for you would mean a ponies and moo-cows and monkeys and pups kinda Zoo… A happy,silly, cool place our Zoo!

So,  Year Two of a Mother’s Day gift tradition TO my children…shamelessly, printed and envelope sealed. “Off-the wall, crazy, unnecessary!”some may say in light of all you do. But, my Gift from my children is my children, for without my Heather Analise and my James Austin, a mother I would not be!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Love, Hope, and Faith

Faith, Trust

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Last week, I created a gift for a friend, a hostess for a big event.  I decided to make a handmade gift, a simple vase, with a twine laced tag…the word, Hope, hand painted. I filled the vase with fragile white “snowball type” flowers. So fragile that I had to carefully deliver the simple gift being careful not to shake the little petals from the stem. It was my friend’s wedding anniversary and I felt the affirmation of Hope was timely. It was providence I now know in choice of this simple word, Hope. A timely message neither of us could have known; but, just as I imagine her glancing towards that simple little gift, that nondescript text of ” hope” I have many times myself smiled inside at the timeliness of this gift.

Yesterday, I prepared for a wedding. My nephew was about to marry the sweetest, most angelic little bride I’ve ever seen. At the last minute, I decided to grab this simple sketch of husband and wife, toddling along, together still. The sketch, an afterthought of an extra gift, no frame, not yet complete. I decided to add, the words “Faith, Hope, Love”.

The wedding was special, as are most. The procession of wedding party, the lighting of unity candle, the soloist, the giddy, yet passionate smiles on the faces of bride and groom. But, then the recitation of scripture chosen by bride and groom, read by my brother. His voice, strong and composed,he began. I watched, listened intently as he swayed nervously yet intent side to side in a sing-song motion reading from I Corinthians 13. FInally, concluding with “And now these three remain, Faith, Hope, and Love; but, the greatest of these is Love.”

Love is the answer. Hope is the motivator, Faith is the foundation; but, Love is the gel, the cushion, the cure.

and the afterthought…the clarity of a gift from the heart, a gesture, an extra kindness not required

And we know all things work together for good. Romans 8:28

I am amazed by the Lord’s weaving together of seemingly insignificant acts.

 

peace

Faith, Prayer, Trust, Uncategorized

peace

Rest, solitude, surrender, acceptance, contentment and trust mean peace.

See this tattered and faded ball?  A confident, serene hue, slowly lingering yet deflating; but, confidently balanced on the water’s surface? It stays afloat because of what’s inside.

That’s trust in deep waters…assurance,deeply personal, invisible even…but it’s there and God sees it. Our surrender, our solace, our prayer of refuge, our reserve of hope in Him. Psalm 142:5

Peace is in the Center of God’s will.

Cliff moments

Faith, Trust, Uncategorized

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When I find myself wanting to rush to judgement, rush to fix, rush to force, it feels like standing on the edge of a cliff…thinking, Jump, do something, don’t just stand there! The thing is I’m terrified of heights. So, good thing Jesus is standing next to me, my toes clinching the ground as he holds my hand, my heart, saying, “Wait here, hold on for the answer, the good, the level ground.”

There will come a time when you think it is the end. That will be the beginning. Louis L’Amour