courage

Day 18/19: looking for good- Post-it verses

courage, Faith, Motherhood, Prayer, rest, Trust, Uncategorized
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Words of Wisdom: a journey through Psalms and Proverbs

It’s Sunday morning and I’m watching church on TV. It doesn’t happen often; but, I got sick. Not just my normal complaint of back pain, headache, exhaustion…but a real diagnosable condition.

Thankfully, better this morning and my husband says I look rested. Sans makeup, my eyes, he said look brighter.

I needed to rest.

I would not have stopped. I would have continued on my frantic balance of work, family,writing and become grouchier, meaner, more exhausted and annoyed.

So, just last week, I thanked God for my health.

This week, he’s calling me to rest, to actually demonstrate that I cherish my health

It’s one thing to say Thank you, Lord. Quite another to acknowledge that thanks with what God wants. In my case, slow down and rest in Him.

Gratitude needs to be tangible with God. Obedience, lived out. God is good, has good for us when we stop to notice.

Today, I glance at my devotional, filled with pencil notes, dog-eared pages and now tiny little post it tabs. A reminder, a declaration of God’s plan for my pain, my redemption, and my faith.

I know the significance of the tabs.Every page marked holds the place of a verse,  an exhortation to write.

Not just write, blog, or post commentary on life.

To write now is to be obedient. To go farther, unsure as I go.

To be obedient in using my story for good. To not be “afraid of failure and uncomfortable with success”, a description that sums up my doubt.

But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things You do.   Psalm 73:28

Day 14: looking for good- Apology and Authenticity

courage, Faith, Trust

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Day 13, yesterday,  of the 31 Days of Writing challenge and the writing became the thing I dread most, a competition, a race, a comparison of lives.

Yesterday’s post was true. It was accurate. It conveyed the facts of the effects of abuse on women. I hit publish and I met my daily goal. That is all, and for me, that’s a shame.

Devoid of emotion though, a big facade for what really occurred between two women with a history of abuse.

To me, it wasn’t even creative… a misuse of the joy of putting words together as a story.

I was able to elaborate to some extent the feelings of remembering abusive behaviors.

My description of the events were true.

A summary is all, though.

If the story had been authentic it may have included details into why I relate so well to a woman afraid to give notice to an angry employer for fear of anger, screaming, disapproval. But, it wasn’t a story of fear or courage, or any emotion really.

It was shallow.

Earlier this week, I had an epiphany of sorts.

I have these often lately. Perhaps it’s my age. Maybe it’s the exposure of such diverse struggle in my job. Probably, my age… chronological and life experience age with a big heaping of godly conviction steadily growing more evident.

I feel good about that conviction.

I care more about truth than approval. More about honesty than popularity.

It seems I’m becoming more and more discerning as to purpose and path.

Guided by God, I am convinced.

My epiphany, my strong and profound, lingering thought involved authenticity.

I proclaimed via Facebook: “I am thinking alot about living authentically and purposefully for God…a commitment to be consistent in living what I believe, to leave a legacy.”

Morbid? No, not for those who know my heart. My sister liked it. She knows my heart.

So, here’s a commitment to self and God: more writing from the heart, unfiltered God-placed stories of grace, of courage, of struggle, of peace and redemption.

Effortless and authentic

Apologies to all who saw right through the empty, although descriptive and articulate words of yesterday.

I’m back on track.